Would you like a cupcake, Cupcake?

At 9:15AM, my phone rang.

"Are you buying bitches cupcakes?"

"Umm, no."

"Yeah, you're busted and having trouble speaking."

"It's just that I didn't buy them. I made them. From scratch."

...

The first cupcake recipient had thanked me via Facebook. I explained that the reason she hadn't been given any cupcakes was because I was perfecting the recipe and frankly she has never asked me for cupcakes.