just talking

I told my sister "I've got a story for you"

And I tell her my story, she says "I think you're wrong"

I think "That's what happened, I was there, it can't be wrong" and I tell her so.

She says "I don't doubt that's what happened. I doubt whether or not that's a story. It had no real beginning, you just sort of started talking, it had no real message and it came to more of a stop than having a real ending. It had no beginning, middle or ending. I think it was just talking".

maybe so

everything old is new again

I got the call while I was trying out my sumi-e kit, a gift from Christmas as of yet unused.

“I’m leaving”

I’m not surprised

She would always tell you all the things she was doing for you, when really she was doing them for herself. Just because others receive a benefit doesn’t mean it’s not a selfish act.

The news really didn’t phase me much, she was good at some things but not so good at other things, yings and yangs and all that stuff.

There is someone new coming on soon, someone from old, someone else who said she was leaving, and now she says leaving was a mistake, the grass seems greener and all that stuff.

The two of them wouldn’t have gotten along anyway so this solves a problem.

My first reaction was to clean my brushes and get to the second job, as much as I can’t stand some of the stuff that happens there, my gut reaction is always to defend, to support. I’ve been around the place since the start, probably fifty or so people have worked here off and on, there are only three day one people left: the owner, her sister-in-law and me. I didn’t clean my brushes right away and when I did I didn’t rush into the office, I just treated yesterday like any other Saturday. This place of business has been written off more than once but we always survive and her leaving really won’t even be a hiccup.

Do the star players make the team or does the team make the star players?

I think someone is about to find out.

maybe it's just talking

This was going to be a post about a co-worker quitting the company. Sometimes they will call me so I can hear it from them.

I don’t know why I get these calls.

“Well, thanks for calling” but my life goes on.

I was asked by this same person four months ago whether I thought a different person would quit. I said “Yes, and soon” that person quit in December. When you have seen a few people quit whether it be jobs or causes, you can usually tell who the quitters are or will be, it’s something in the eyes or the tone of the voice when they talk about certain things.

I’m not impressed with huge flames, it’s the embers where the true energy is, it’s the embers that forge steel.

...

But, instead of that I have a story.

It was my job to pick up Little g at the after school program, I picked her up and she asked if I could drive her to the hair care place. I said “Sure, where is it?” She said she didn’t know but take the next left.

I’m not super familiar with hair care places in her neighborhood, I only really know of one. Turns out that the one I know is the one she wants. Parking was a little bit tough, I was told by my passenger that my truck is too big.

The walk to the door wasn’t all that long, the street is a major artery, bus route and all, by the door is a bus shelter. The bus shelter is inhabited with an older lady, dressed poorly and she shouts a few things at me and holds her hand out. I assume she has a case of the crazies and walk on.

In the hair care place Little g is looking for hair ties. I think, that’s one of the items that the soldiers posting on AnySoldier.com ask for, black hair ties.

Little g picks up a couple things and she has me buy gloves for my niece just because the gloves were cute and we leave. I made a U-turn and at the signalized intersection is the crazy lady asking for money from the drivers. I asked Little g “Should, I give her money?” She said “Yeah, a dollar”

Six blocks from her house is a rather large and famous homeless shelter. There is usually a crowd of homeless around, we drive by and there is some yelling and Little g asks me to roll up my window. I tell her we’re alright but she asked again. I roll it up.

One city block later there is a homeless man asking for money. I ask Little g should I give him money, she said “No”. We drove past the guy and I asked her why the crazy lady got a dollar and the homeless man got nothing. She informs me that the homeless usually just buy cigarettes with the money they get. I think to myself “Yeah, I’ve heard that too”. I tell her some people are addicted to cigarettes and sometimes can’t help themselves.

There was some more debate and when we were near her house the conversation ended into silence. The silence was broken when she said now she feels guilty and we should go back and give the homeless man something.

I tell her “Don’t worry that guy will most likely be alright. I was just asking”.

I wouldn’t have given either of them money today, I’m not really certain why but I did buy a couple packs of black hair ties.

I'm no good at pretend

Tracy posts a picture and I do my best to pretend I'm some sort of dork and it works

but then I think of things like this

that's a picture of traffic signal hardware in San Antonio, TX

I have photos like that from Paris, London, Cancun, Jackson Hole WY

I guess I don't have to pretend

Penguins

Regina likes penguins

tick tock

So, I'm about to live the second office so I go through the ritual of checking Haloscan and find a comment that made me laugh out loud, I mean lol - it's all in the timing.

It was regarding the down the street post


here's the comment


Thanks to everyone who commented - This is one of my favorite posts mainly because of the comments

you don't need money to give

Lacking money is very seldom ever the real problem when people don’t give

There are other ways to make a change in this world besides with the dollar bill but those things don’t get done either

Ask for volunteers by name and then you’ll probably see money

Talk is cheap - as cheap as the speaker

Walk your talk

bravado n
1. Defiant or swaggering behavior; pretense of courage; a false show of bravery
2. A disposition toward showy defiance or false expressions of courage

I watch for heroes – just like the heroes do TRUE, Radiohumper, the hun

I said to myself

it took you a long time to figure that out

i never done that before

how hard can be?

i don't see everyone doing it, it not all that simple there are things going on that you really cannot see

yeah, but it's a lot like things you have done before

yeah, but that's like saying because I can speak some Spanish that I should also be able to speak some French

i thought you were supposed to be some hotshot

i've never said that

yeah, but you think it sometimes

isn't there someone else you can bother?

no, nobody else puts up with my nonsense

...

For lunch today I went to the New England Aquarium. It hasn't changed all that much on the inside from when I was a wee lad. They close at five on the weekdays which I think is stupid but I know they are hurting for money, some what, so I'll cut them some slack. But I think they are limiting their clientele.

While I was there they started a penguin show/demonstration and there was this young dude kinda off to the side in with the penguins and he was scrubbing some green junk off of the phoney rocks. Welcome to the big leagues kid. But that’s the kinda of thing I would end up doing just because nobody else would do it but it still needs to get done.

I’m a member, I think I’ll start hanging out there more at least the odor it used to have seems to be under control, maybe it’s worse in the summer.

They have an exhibit that is supposed to be like Boston Harbor and in it there are some flounders. I told my slimey flat friends that “My family used to eat the likes of you.” But it didn’t seem to phase them one little bit.

I have some pictures but I don’t have my camera cable with me. So the pictures will come later. (later came)

...

Talk radio still drives me crazy and I still won’t just turn it off. I think the hosts have become dumber. There was a time when, even if I didn’t agree with a host, I could still respect him as being intelligent, but nowadays it seems the hosts are just loud and rude.

...

tomorrow morning I think I'll get up early and just watch the birds

sometimes, I ignore myself - probably not enough

There are times when folks want to talk

There are times when I don’t

…

I usually screw around wasting time until I'll have to rush out the door. Today I sat at the kitchen table and with a mug of coffee.

The purpose was to think, about what I don't know.

There is my usual chair that I usually sit in when I'm just sitting about but today I used a different chair. My first choice was going to be the same chair I took all those bird shots from, it's the furthest from the window, least likely to frighten the birds from the feeders. As I was making my way, I noticed a house finch at the feeder by the window, looking like he was looking right at me. He didn't seem to care so neither did I. I sat where I was.

I sat down and asked myself "So, what now?"

I ignored the question and watched the birds, most of the regular crowd, the chickadees, sparrows, finches, nuthatches, titmouses. I also noticed the same birds in the trees in the distance, I could now identify them by their behavior. There were maybe thirty birds I could see.

I thought "Maybe I should get the camera" then I thought "Can't you just sit and watch?"

The woodpecker showed up and I thought about the camera again, I don't have a shot of him but I told myself today I'm just watching. So I watched.

I watched and what I saw was a brand new feeder with brand new seed hung from a brand new hook and an assortment of birds I could mostly identify due to my brand new book, all totaled, cash out of hand $111.00.

That amount bothered me, there are other things I can spend my money on, things that will make a difference in human life. What followed next was the familiar debate that arises with the self asked question "What about you?"

"What about you" meaning:

What am I doing?
What's my purpose?
Am I making a difference?
Am I obligated to make a difference?

Good luck watching the birds.

It's sucks but give it time

So, I pass over what I did she takes it and asks “Do you like it?”

I say “No.”

She asks “Why?”

I say “I dunno. I just don’t really like it.”

This happens a lot. I’ll work on something until I run out of time or ideas and then offer what I have and most likely not like it. It will serve its purpose, and things may be even spelled correctly but I won’t like it, for reasons that will escape me.

I got short notice for some palm cards, I blogged about it somewhere, I did what I could but the ideas just weren’t coming so I threw all the info on the page and fussed with it until it didn’t hurt my eyes. I offered what I had and I was told “This is great!”

I disagreed.

That was over two months ago, I never saw the finished product, never until last night. I was asked to do an ad “For this property” and I was handed the palm card. They printed it on light ivory stock, the feel of what I had done was old time-y, the ivory stock gave it a further old feel.

I waited until I was along in my office before I really looked at the card.

It was good, I sometimes surprise myself.

if I did...

if I did gamble and if the gambling was in the form of football squares, I have a hunch that my numbers would be 4 for the AFC and 3 for the NFC which would probably be the best numbers I would have been given in all the years I would have been gambling

if I gambled

death toll

so far five mice have met their death (this current go round)

is it death or deaths or either or?

when i was asked to address the problem i estimated the number of mice to be at five and if i had posted that number i would have looked like some sort of mousing genius

there still could be more

i’ll keep you posted

...

I fit this search third grade word jumbles

east - west

so, i go into the second job earlier than usual and as is usually the case i get bombarded with questions and requests

then the owner gives me a list of web updates she would like done and i'm all 'what the heck is this? work?'

then i remember that it is and that those web updates should have been done prior to now

so, now i work (there really isn't too much but i'll pretend that there is)

"i'll be there in a minute. i'm kinda swamped right now"


this post is basically for the west coasters who, at the time of this post, are still working out on the west coast while i'm just working for fun on the east coast

commented

Have you ever started a comment on someone's post and figured this is getting way too long and way too much about me to stay as a comment on someone else's post?

I’m fiscally conservative, religiously Christian, I won’t say skullf*ck Bush, in face to face conversations I rarely use profanities, I doubt my own worth as a blogger. I had questions whether or not I could or should write for a site that seemed to have fundamental differences with some of what I personally believe.

The reason I do participate, or at least try to, is because I read most of the contributors’ personal blogs, I’ve commented or emailed, or received such, from almost everyone I read, I’ve found that they will give you a fair shake, they will hear you out, they are open to discussion, and despite personal differences they are inclusive. We all want a change.

A few folks have figured out that I’m a Christian and they still talk to me anyway.

I think the religious crowd catches a lot of heat, and most of the heat they deserve.

I have a lot of problems with religion, myself, but it’s mainly with the business of religion. Too many people get hung on specifics when the general message is usually based on love. And, what’s good about things based on love is that they work universally, no matter what you do or do not believe.

Get the general message working and then work of the specifics, is what I think.

In general, there is too much hate, too much judgment, too much unwillingness to listen.

Occasionally, there comes a corner where people can reach a common ground for change, a common ground for caring, regardless of specific individual beliefs.

Always open for discussion – Bring the Beef

Shot-ed

I removed the labels from the bottom of the shot glasses and gave them a good washing.

The labels came of easy after they were dabbed with “Brush Cleaner,” rubbed off and then washed with regular dish detergent and hot water. Brush Cleaner is a volatile mixture of chemicals used to restore/clean paintbrushes which have had paint dry on them. I’m always careful to properly wash out my brushes but sometimes the Brush Cleaner comes in handy, especially if you let other folks use your paint brushes. I keep a can under the kitchen sink because it’s also good for removing labels from shot glasses.

Labels that aren’t removed properly are another of my pet peeves.

Anyway.

Holding a now pristine brand new shot glass, it seemed a waste just to put them away, so I decided that a shot might be in order. At first I thought whiskey – Jack Daniels to be exact, but then I remembered I have Jim Beam in the frig, then I thought about Glenlivet, then Sambuca, then Vodka, then back to the 12 year old single malt scotch – Glenlivet.

I poured half a glass or at least tried for half a glass, I poured a little more than half a glass. I held it and tried to remember if I ever did a shot of scotch or any other type of whiskey, I couldn’t remember, mixed shots and varies combinations of straight vodka came to mind, as far as I knew this would be a first, I thought.

It burned a bit, I usually sip my scotch on the rocks, I was expecting more heat. I thought about another shot but I reasoned that I wasn’t drinking for effect, I was just trying out the shot glass and it worked just fine.