Down the street

If I lived down the street from Angelina, I’m certain she would have had us rob a bank just for fun and somehow not get arrested for doing it by now.

If I lived down the street from Radiohumper, I’m certain she would have used my 32’ ladder more than I by now.

If I lived down the street from TRUE, I’m certain I would have had to run from the police for tagging or posting ‘illegal’ signs or something by now.

If I lived down the street from xtx, I’m certain she would have watched my porno collection more than I and if I didn’t have a collection she would have gotten me one by now. (mainly because I don't give porno the attention it deserves)

If I lived down the street from Hun, I’m certain I would have learned something about music or HTML by now.

If I lived down the street from Anti, I’m certain my cordless power drill would have been returned in fine working order but with some unknown sticky substance on it and I would ask about the stickiness and he truly wouldn’t know about how it got there but he would offer to have one of the sign walkers clean it but I would say “Naw, I’ll do it. I was just curious” by now.

If I lived down the street from Regina, I’m certain I would have seen her perform live by now.

If I lived down the street from Lisa, I’m certain we would have swapped a recipe by now.

If I lived down the street from Jamie, I’m certain we would have been in a some coffee house not really talking to each other but making certain each other is hearing the story the crazy blond at the next table is telling too loudly to be ignored and Jamie would say “I kind of know her” by now.

If I lived down the street from Downwindofabum, I’m certain either one of us would have told the other some obscure story and then the other one would have said “No shit, me too” by now.

If I lived down the street from Meg, I’m certain she would have asked “Can you get any lamer?” while shaking her head at me by now.

If I lived down the street from unitedbingdom, I’m certain her friends would have asked her “What’s up with that dude?” and she would say “Beats me, he’s just some crazy neighbor from down the street” (which I would find funny) by now.

If I lived down the street from Raymi, I’m certain I would have seen her partially undressed because she thought there was a tick on her back and she wanted me to check and it would have probably happened on the bus in front of her boyfriend and thirty other people. There would be no tick but she would tell me everything I never truly wanted to know about ticks but then later I would tell others my new found knowledge about ticks, she would catch me and say “I told him that” by now.