Thursday, March 31, 2005

me and a few

I'll explain later

this is me last night it's about 1.6MB large

it's later

So, last night I shot some video, the finished movie was 16MB which is too large for anyone to download unless it's midget porn and it isn't. I couldn't resize the file with the software on hand so I went and bought some.

I couldn't even upload the 16MB, I'll have to find out why later.

I'm going to be adding video to the website I maintain for the second job so I needed the video editing software anyway.

About the movie, I screwed up the beginning which I think is close to hilarious because I'm just waiting to hear the little beep that lets me know we're shooting but I couldn't hear it so I turned the camera around to see if it was recording and it was.

I need a director

and a cameraman would be nice too

Anyway, I had just uploaded this movie to my server space when Lady G called so I had to run out and pick up her up at the bus depot. She had just got back from Foxwoods Resort & Casino.

I thought I might forget to post it so I just threw it up as quick as I could.


Out lame this, I dare you.

I will out lame everyone during video blog week

me eating a sunflower seed

Wednesday usually no one is looking for me

Yesterday's plan was to go for a few after work but I got a call around one o'clock in the afternoon that Lady G was having trouble with a file she downloaded. I tried to talk her through it but it didn't work.

So, the plan got changed.

But then Lady G's daughter called and said that she was able to do what was needed.

So, the plan was back on

Danielle was there when I walked in a four and said "Hello, Sunshine!"

Danielle is the one of the left and Courtney is on the right

Danielle and I talk about this and that then she leans in as said "Timmy, do you know what I like about you? It's that when everyone else wants to tell me their stories you let me tell my stories."

Dave came in later, Dave bartends at a different bar, a higher class bar, he sat next to me.

"I've never seen you without your hat" he told me.

"Yeah, I left the house without it. I almost bought a new one today."

Then Dave tells me the problems he has with his customers.

Danielle tells me that Jennifer will be coming in at seven. I haven't seen Jennifer for awhile, so then the plan was modified to include Jennifer. She also tells me that this is Courtney's last day at this location, she'll be working in the next town to the North after tonight.

Jennifer is the one right, Lauren is the left

Right at seven Jennifer walked in so I settled my bill with Danielle, so she would get her tip, I counted six pints but I was given a bill for four, we then discussed some counting techniques. Danielle decided to have dinner at the bar and sat next to me and the new help, Katie, sat next to her and then for the next hour I was at the end of the bar talking to five attractive women while the rest of the bar was put on hold.

I ordered a whiskey sour from Jen because I was pretty much done with drinking beer and I wanted something that costs a bit on money so when I left her a tip it wouldn't look too stupid. I usually watch them make the drinks just for something to do but I missed Jen mixing my drink, I took a sip as I wondered why she watched me and she asked "Do you need more Jack?" I said "No but I might need more sour mix." I don't know how much whiskey was in that 16 ounce glass but I can tell you I could barely taste the sour mix.

Jennifer has this hobby of getting the regulars 'feeling good'.

I tossed a twenty on the bar because I was done with having a few. I tossed a twenty because I don't know how much a Whiskey Sour costs, even though I get then from time to time, and because twenties were all I had. I watched her ring in my bill and the display says "No Sale" and she hands me back three fives and five ones. I was going to go over counting techniques with Jen as well but then I decided just to take a five and split.

It looked like it was going to be a slow Wednesday night.

Lauren wasn't there last night but I'll probably see her Friday. She's the one that I usually bother.

She's also the one that had me change my solitaire setting, on my T5, from a three card flip to a one card flip. I told her the one card flip "is for babies" but she noticed I hadn't changed it back yet.

Sometimes, I like winning.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


So, I'm told by anti and simpleton that it's video blog week.

I kept it short.

roll the tape

two point five

Roy Orbison

Johnny Cash

are both liked

by my 2½ year old niece

the lesser part

I left the office today because I had enough of the conversation coming from the other side of my cube.

Things are getting strange in the office, people are talking to themselves more violently, the fuse seems to be very short.

I took my electronic paraphernalia and left to get a coffee, on the way there was a guy standing in the doorway for no reason that was apparent to me, the thought crossed my mind to drop my shoulder into him to bump him out of the way, but I didn’t.

I think I’m looking for a confrontation.

I hear discretion is the better part of valor, sometimes I settle for a lesser part

Monday, March 28, 2005

I think your folding money has come unstowed

She called me and asked me to do something. I asked “Will tomorrow be alright?” and got some silence, which means no, it will not be, but she doesn’t want to say it.

“I’ll be right there” is what I said to break the silence.

When I get there I try to take care of some other things with the owner, first. Then the owner asks if I can take her laptop to be fixed and she pulls it from its hiding spot.

Her laptop has been giving the ‘no system disk found’ error message. I have told her “That’s a big problem if there is no floppy in the floppy drive”.

As she hands me the machine, I ask “Has that hole always been there?” There was a rectangle shaped hole about the size of a deck of cards only squished a little flat, if that were possible, on the bottom of the laptop.

This computer was given to her by someone so I know very little about it.

I think it's stolen.

She says “I don’t know” and looks to where she pulled it from and lifts up the hard drive and asks “What’s this?”

“That’s the hard drive and the source of your error message” it never occurred on me to check to make sure the hard drive didn’t fall out because as you may know the hard drive usually doesn’t fall out.

After plugging the hard drive back in, the machine worked just fine but there seems to be a problem with the little screw that secures it.

Then I did the thing I was actually there for


when I feel like living on the edge I'll buy CD's from unknown artists.

Today's unknown artists:
Lori McKenna - Bittertown
Susan Werner - I Can't Be New

I was talking with Little g the other day and asked her how she liked her after school program. She paused a little and then said, disappointedly "I kind of like it now". I asked "Isn't that a good thing?" She replied "Well, no because now I can't complain about it".

Later on we were walking some where and I looked towards her because she said "Oh, no."

I looked towards her and she's walking like she trying to avoid stepping on something. I don't know what.

"I just gave myself seven years bad luck." she tells me.

"What did you do? Break a mirror?"


"That's the superstition that gives you seven years bad luck."

"I make up my own superstitions"

I could have scored one hundred

I found myself at the sunrise service, someone needed a ride and I also thought the service could use some support. I'm not real big on the special services because the way I figure it, you are suppose to live like your beliefs every day and not just on special occasions. Anyway, I'm there and I'm greeted by the associate pastor, who was running the show and who I consider a friend, he offered me a Bible and said "You didn't think you were going to get away without helping? Did you?" I gave him a shoulder shrug and said "Yeah, I kinda did" and he told me "I need someone to read Psalms 95 verses one through seven. Will you do it?" I took the Bible. "Thanks, brother" I heard him say as I opened the book about to the middle to get to Psalms. Normally being called 'brother' by the brethren bothers me but when he says it, it's more like 'pal' or 'buddy' both of which he sometimes uses, so I always cut him a break.

I was giving the passage a quick look over so I wouldn't be surprised by any big words when he started the service, I looked up and he gave me the nod. So, I read wondering if his nod was the nod I thought it was.

Psalm 95 (verses 1-7)
Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.
The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.
Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care.

I read it without a stumble and I didn't even slip into that 'I am reading a kid's book out loud' style I sometimes slip into to, but I wondered how "Easter-y' the passage was, did I read the right passage? By then it was too late for second guesses.

I looked at the bulletin which I hadn't had a chance to look at because it was handed to me as I was being asked to read, it said: introduction; Psalms 95; some song; then the rest of the service. I sort of forget the rest, I was too busy trying to look cool by not shivering in my leather jacket in 32 degree weather.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian.

Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins.



















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with

Saturday, March 26, 2005

“How did it go?”

I was asking about her experience with feeding 100 people.

“It went alright”

Her answer was given is such a way that I knew the outcome turned out alright but there was some drama along the way. I questioned further and got the whole story.

When she was asked to help she thought she and a couple of people she knew were going to be the only ones doing it, so she planned accordingly, things were going fine until right before the time to serve the food approached. Someone who has done this sort of thing before showed up and assumed command. He changed the plan on how to serve the food, when to serve the food, where the beverages would be, he started giving orders to people who were there to help my sister, he had an opinion of what service utensil should go in which hand. My sister explained to him a couple of times that things were going to be done her way because that is what her group decided one but when she left the area to do something else he would change things back to his liking.

From the story I got from my sister, this self-appointed-guy-in-charge’s attitude was to just feed them and get them out the door, he had no respect for the people as being people. He wanted to serve the food earlier than the stated time even though the food wasn’t heated to the proper temperature and he stacked full salad bowls on top of each other. Paperware was being used and I know that the inside of a new paper salad bowl is as clean as the outside of a new paper salad bowl but I’m of the opinion that full salad bowls shouldn’t be stacked. If my food was served to me this way I would send it back.

My sister said “It’s good you didn’t come. There would have been trouble” I was going to deny her statement but most likely I would have confronted that guy to the point to where he would have either started crying or he would have met me in the parking lot. I know of the guy that was causing difficulties, the first six words I ever heard him speak caused me to dislike him and at this event he was doing things that usually cause me to get in someone’s face. He had no respect for the help, he had no respect for the poor, he took charge of things he shouldn’t have, he was inflexibly narrow minded in his ways, when he was told to get out of the way he didn’t and he did all of these things at a time that caused my sister difficulties. If he did those things to me, I would have been more patient but when folks cause problems for my family or friends, I tend to get a little combative.

I would have either broken that guy’s spirit or I would have broken his nose the choice would have been his but I most likely I would have made him choose one.

The people there said that this dinner was the best in a long while and my sister is talking about ‘if I do it again’, and she was asking for doable menu items. I’ll probably tag along if there is a next time just to keep our little friend in check. He’ll be safe from me now that I know I want to kick his ass, I kind of pity him a bit, he’s not a happy man and obviously he has control issues. That won’t stop me from speaking to him but breaking him isn’t going to do anyone any good. I’ll just keep him out of the way.

in and out

I was sent on an assignment, short notice and misinformed, but that why I get the call in cases such as this, I make do with what I am given.

On the way back I decided I would take a coffee break, not because I wanted coffee but because I wanted a sesame seed bagel. I stop by the bagel shop and ran into Trish, she a barkeep from my old regular place. I still drop by the old place from time to time usually just to waste part of the day and Trish usually isn’t there.

Trish has an inside-the-bar personality and an outside-the-bar personality. The inside-the-bar personality is a bit of a slightly trampy self-centered ditz sort of thing. The outside-the-bar personality is gregarious and attentive. I’ve run into her a couple times outside of the bar, I like the outside Trish better than the inside Trish but the inside Trish is a pretty good show if you get to see it.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

pigs and bull

I know there seems to be a lot today but I always try to share little bits of knowledge I find along the way, the little bit today is that some pot bellied pigs will bite through a Red Bull can to get at the tasty beverage inside, so my advice to you would be to keep your cans of Red Bull out of the reach of any pot bellied pigs that might be roaming about.


I took today off, scheduled vacation day number two, on the year.

My sister was somewhat volunteered to feed 100 less fortunate, she started to show signs of worry the last days before the event so I took the day off to offer help. Right up until three hours before the her start time she wasn’t sure if she needed my help but she managed to pull it off herself, she set the menu, did most of the cooking, lined up the servers, got rides for the help.

My first impulse was to just do some of the stuff but instead I just made myself available, I offered my advice when she asked for it. I was insurance that wasn’t needed.

I stood back because it’s a heck of a story to have someone casually drop at some dinner party. I stood back because she got some of her students involved, I thought an object lesson of one person can make a difference was more important than me riding to the rescue.

Once she had the only thing she might need me for down to giving rides to some of the servers. I left for the hospital where Lady G’s mother was recovering from knee surgery. Lady G’s mom had asked if I would visit her in the hospital the Saturday before she went in, she was went in this past Monday.

I avoided going in Monday because I figured visiting would be rough on everyone. Tuesday, I kinda left open but my Tuesday’s are always booked and I sorta got sidetracked with something else of a foolish and personal nature but I did score a Harpoon t-shirt. Wednesday, some other things came up and plus I knew I would have time on Thursday so, I put the visit off until today.

I thought I should bring something, the something I thought of was flowers and I didn’t want to get cut flowers that would die quickly because who really wants to be reminded that things die when your in the hospital so, I went to home depot because they actually have a pretty decent garden section at times.

My first thought, after I got through the door, was tulips because they are pretty hardy and they had a bunch of them but the tulips where in an ugly plastic pot that was wrapped in festive plastic which is okay but I could see the root system peeking out of the bottom of the pot at the seem of the plastic where the festive colors gave was to the clear natural state of the wrapper. I thought that was no good.

So then I found this.

It was in a fancy pink plastic pot the kind that has that catch water tray attached, and the color really matched nicely with the pink veins on the leaves and it requires just a low amount of light “like what’s found in a living room or kitchen table” (the tag informed me) but I thought giving a house plant was stupid.

I bought both, the tulips and the green leafy thing. On the way to the hospital, I thought - maybe give both but I thought that was crazy. I chose the tulips. “Happy Easter” crossed my mind.

Hospitals and chit chat – two things I usually avoid. I walked in and saw a vase of cut flowers wilted and thought: my tulips will outlast however many days they lasted.

Things went well, I stayed for almost an hour. We talked about family mostly. She told me about her and Lady G, “I think I actually hated her from age fourteen to twenty one” I thought, that’s the time I started loving her after I thought – that’s got to be a hard thing for a mother to admit.

the green leafy thing sits in the middle of my kitchen table and now I regret that the color of the pot is pink. I know folks will have something to say. I don’t think my defense that the pot matches the color of the veins will help my case. I’ll probably get a gift subscription to Martha Steward’s Living show up at the house.


I was just wondering how to start this post when I looked over at my unopened gas bill and noticed that the meter postage is stamped Hicksville, NY. I really don’t like the idea of my bills coming from Hicksville.


Someone sent me an email that had ‘wake up’ in the subject line.

It’s not that I’m not awake it’s more like I’m just not getting out of bed.

I was also told the it was Spring time, I said “but 4-6 inches of snow is forecasted for tonight” which actually changed to 6-8 inches later in the day, “So not quite Spring yet” I added.

This morning I awoke to wet pavement and absolutely no snow. I've lost my excuse.

Back to the title – Heroes

I was reading Fighting Verse’s post about heroes, actually heroes lost or maybe heroes never really found, I guess, and it made me think about me and then my heroes.

In my real life, the one of flesh and blood, of handshakes and frowns I have received the label ‘hero’ and if I think that I will see that person or those people again, I will almost always let them know that I’m just doing what I can, I let them know I’m just an average guy with average abilities – anyone can do what I do.

They will usually offer a disagreement but then at least I know they have been informed.

There are two main reasons I let folks know that I’m not a hero, one – so there won’t be that much of a let down when I disappoint them and two – that they can be their own hero.

I also remind myself that my heroes are just mortals, often just regular folks with shortcomings.

One of my heroes was some guy who on his morning walks would pick up litter along the way and he was a guy who you would think wouldn’t bother himself by picking up litter. He was a congressman who actually did some important stuff, impressive stuff but he lived his life as a steward of what he had and not as an owner. He tried to leave more than he took.

My heroes are the ones who don’t just walk by a thing even though they would probably like to do so, the ones who start a thing but still carry on when things get rough, the ones who are willing to stand alone

I try to emulate their good and forgive their bad

Sometimes I have to be my own hero but I don’t let it go to my head because I’m just an average guy with average abilities.

Everybody's Working for the Man Again....

Everybody's Working for the Man Again....

Kevin Welch

Everybody's working for the man again
Everybody's working for the man
Everybody's working for the man again
Everybody's working for the man

We had a hardware store on Main Street
A drug store and a grocery too
Then the megamarket opened on the edge of town
And there was nothing anybody could do

Everybody's working for the man again
Everybody's working for the man
Mom and Pop had to close up shop
Everybody's working for the man

We had a radio station that played our music
The way we all liked it round here
Then a big corporation with a whole lot of money
Told our jockeys what they wanted to hear

Everybody's working for the man again
Everybody's working for the man
They got everybody dancing to the same Top Ten
Everybody's working for the man

The fox is in the henhouse, cows are in the corn
Rooster's too scared to crow
Fat cats are up in the farmhouse now
Doin' the do-si-do

The broadcasters bought off the FCC
Big oil's got the EPA
Halliburton Halliburton Halliburton Halliburton
What else do you have to say


Little fish are eaten by the big fish
Swallowed up head and tail
Then the big fish are eaten by the bigger fish
Till we're all in the belly of the whale


Kevin Welch: guitar, vocal
Kieran Kane: octave mandolin, little big drum, stuff, vocal
Fats Kaplin: fiddle, vocal

© 2004 Chaos Canyon Songs, a div. of Moraine Music Group (SESAC).

used without permission

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

the cell phone rings, it’s Lady G.

“I need help with roman numerals. M is what? C is what? V is five. One is L.”

She woke me up. I had lied down after I got home, it was supposed to be just for a bit but now four hours later, it was nine thirty at night.

“M is a thousand, C is a hundred.” I said before I realized I was probably legally drunk. Then the answers got harder.

After work, I was kinda waiting for a call and my phone doesn’t work in the subway so I went to have a beer, I forget if it turned out to be five or six, when I asked for my tab I was told I was all set, so I guess I’ll never know.

“V is five? L is one?”

good follow up question, I think because at the moment I was done with giving the answers.

“Yup. V is five. L is fifty. I is one.”

“I is one? How do you write that?”

“A capital I”

“Okay. Little g needed help with her homework.”

I forget the rest of the conversation, if there was more. What I do remember is thinking “Oh shit it’s 9:30 PM on Tuesday and I haven’t been to the second job yet”

Tuesday is the only day I can’t blow off. I can blow off the other days but not Tuesday and plus I had received calls and said I would do certain things by tonight, even wrote them in my PDA which I wouldn’t have check until the morning.

I’m glad I got the call because otherwise I’m not certain I would have remembered that it was Tuesday.

After the phone call I went to the bathroom because I wanted to throw up but I couldn’t so I went to the truck and started it, wondered if I should be driving, thought ‘how can you still be drunk four hours after the fact?’, thought I need to sober up, thought “hey, maybe Red Bull would do the trick’, then thought “I never heard of Red Bull doing the trick but I heard Gatorade does” and then went back into the house to get a Gatorade.

I then drove to the second job wondering how screwed up the stuff I was going to do would end up. Walking to the office, threw up in the park I had to park by, not once but three times, tried for a fourth but came up empty but was praying for vomit. Got to the office and saw a bunch of stuff left for me and then thought ‘I’m screwed’, turned on my pc and started this post.

Good luck to me.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

today, I’m a small city yard away from a loud St. Pat’s day party. I’m in my old neighborhood, the neighborhood with the parade on the Sunday after the actual day. A day when the rest of the world finds it okay to take a wiz on some old lady’s doorframe.

lately, I seem to repeating myself, my life years ago but with a slightly different script, both jobs have me doing what I was doing years ago, some might think that means I’m going backwards but these are some of the things I do best.

The things which others were able to do, in some fashion which left me the things that they couldn’t do, the things that have been eating away at my soul. Even though, those first things, the things done by others, were never done to my liking

I feel the change is temporary, though, soon others will go back to doing the things I do best – only they won’t do them as well.

I think I’ll keep doing some of those things though

I think I’ll make a little of my own destiny

I think I’m tired of the flow I was going with

Friday, March 18, 2005

Lunch, lunch, lunches

"What are you doing for lunch?"

"I don't know yet"

"Is it going to be one of your liquid lunch days?"

"I don't know. If I take a late lunch, yes - but another offer might come along"

"Like what?"

"Like if someone had the day off and was going to be in town"

"Hey, I have the day off but I don't want to ruin your lunch with the guys. What time are you going?"

"I don't know. I might take two lunches."

"Two lunches, huh? That's funny"

Thursday, March 17, 2005

So, I got home and was going over my options for the rest of my day off, after finishing up at the second job, when the phone rings, it’s the second job, caller id tells me so.


“Hi, Tim?”


“It’s *a co-worker*, are coming into the office tonight or have you already been here?”

“I’ve already been there. Do you need something?”

“Well, yeah but I don’t want you to come back in if you’re celebrating”

“What do you need?” sometimes I just cut to the chase, I’m a busy guy.

“I told someone that I would have a marketing piece done by Friday night, but I don’t want you to have to come back in if you’re celebrating or something. Are you coming in on Friday?”

“I won’t be celebrating.”

“Oh, then you’re like me”

“I’ll do it tonight, I just don’t know what time.”

Oh and lady, no offense but you ain’t like me at all

but then sometimes I’m not even like me

In the scheme of things

I would rather be the king maker than the king

but then again sometimes I'm a bit off of society’s mark


I'm going to research writing code for my new little friend, the T5, and possibly write some

The first night I stayed up around the clock that I can remember I was writing code


I feel I have been neglecting this space.

Thanks to all who have been

coming by

leaving comments

sending emails



i was reading the liner notes, read the copywrite info too, 'used by permission' - i would like to see somebody say 'used without permission'

in the early days of candid camera, during editing, Allen Funt would sometimes 'bleep' words that weren't profane, when his network found out they told him 'you can't bleep perfectly good words'.

i have the day off, 'some bullshit holiday' is what it is usually called by those who don't have it off but it’s the day the British evacuated the city, it maybe bullshit that I have it off but the holiday itself is not.

I'm sitting having coffee, listening to cd's, feeding the squirrels from the window and playing solitaire on my pda, when i'm not writing notes on it, wondering how much of this day i'm going to waste when i get a phone call, it's the second job, they are having trouble with the fax machine, from what i can gather, someone changed the setting from 'auto' to manual for the call pick up. I try to help over the phone but it's difficult without knowing what the buttons 'say', the person on the other end of the phone has to get another call so she hangs up.

I decide to go in and think to myself 'it’s show time' which really isn’t going to be much of a show. I just have to push some button.

like riding a bike

It was dark outside, I said hello to the lady I was going to be passing by, thinking she looked a lot like *the owners’s* cousin. She gave me the same type of hello in return, the polite passer-by hello when we both recognized each other, she was the owner’s cousin.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as she was peeling a banana.

“Day job stuff, and you?”

“Oh yeah” she remembered my day job even though she knows me from the second job “The same”

She heads up neighborhood relations for a local university. I told her I would see her inside as I left her with her banana.

I signed in just like I used to do back when I used to do this, I told them why I was there. I was trying to get a read the room when the guy by the fishbowl said you have to buy a raffle ticket.

“Did you say I have to buy a ticket?” I asked accentuating the ‘have to’

“Well, it works for the mob, and if you win you get two t-shirts your choice of color” he motions to a rack of eight different colored tee’s. “Or you can buy one. Twenty percent of the price goes to the civic association”

“How much are they?” I asked as I offered a dollar for the raffle ticket.

“Fifteen bucks. Do you want one?”

“I’ll see how the raffle goes”

the local police captain was there, he gave his monthly update. "Someone who we are classifying as homeless took his life in the park down the street” is the update I remember most

things went well, then got sour, then got well again.

My raffle ticket ended up winning but I gave it away to the guy who said he never wins anything.

He ended up giving me one of the t-shirts.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I'm a rambling man

You must be dying to know what type of stuff I put in my PDA.

Well, you’re in luck! The following is an actual example of a memo on my PDA

farrington ave, brighton - cw faded, possibly add additional legs. Ramps exist at apex. Construction signs on farringon from december - have photo
farrington and highgate install r-1's, see note
farrington and linden attach r-2 to two inch round with cap, see note
linden/cambridge st - fix stop sign on two inch sq. On left of t-intersection, have photo
charlestown - bunker hill court, attach t-14 to first gas light, either side


so I had “Play a Train Song” from Todd Snider running through my head for most of the day.


heading into the second job I was not feeling too well so I figured a steak and cheese would work wonders. I haven’t put that to the test just yet. But while I was there the guy said “You got a hair cut” I think “holy fuck! I’m in here too much” but what I said was “Yeah, I try to go in every four months”


“Yeah, or when my hat doesn’t fit”

When things are – you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t – I rather be damned with the doing.

I have a community meeting tomorrow night, I haven’t done one in over four years which was by my choice.

While I was eating those fundraising peanut buttercups yesterday, one of my poker buddies catches me and yells out “Junkie!”

today while I helping out the girl scouts by buying cookies, the same dude sees me and yells out “Junkie!”

I choose to call myself a philanthropist

yeah, who's first?

part of the problem was that I heard "Tim, you are no help"

that was because I didn't have the detective's name, his phone number didn't satisfy her request.

that was before I disagreed with her stated course of action

fortunately she hung up the phone after she said that because a lot of thoughts flashed through my mind and not one of them was "I'm sorry, you're right"

Monday, March 14, 2005

So, there was some other drama today

Little g got a door close on her finger, basically when she was by herself and I had to leave work fifteen minutes early to take her to the hospital.

In the hospital while we are waiting for an elevator Lady G called Little g, and after the phone call was over, Little g said “She getting all ghetto on me just because I got my finger caught in a door. My finger is broken! I should be the one getting ghetto” which was kinda funny to hear but I was also wondering how her finger got caught in the door, and I probably would have gotten a little bit ghetto too if I was called at work for something that shouldn't have happened, but stuff happens. I told her “your mom has a lot on her mind and we don’t know your finger is broken” she assured me it was and that she would need a cast and she wouldn’t be able to go to school the next day, that’s pretty much when I knew it wasn’t broken.

I had Miss E bring the health insurance papers to the hospital just in case. We spoke like Saturday never happened.

Lady G says she hasn’t spoken to her daughter about Saturday’s incident yet, which I think is better for the both of them at the moment. At least I know now that any reaction will not be of the knee jerk kind which is what I worried most about.

and the doctor, Nicole, said the finger wasn’t broken

I was just messing about with my PDA

so. here i am in a coffee shop making an entry onto my pda,

so, there was this glove, on the floor, forgotten. it was up ahead of me so my choices were to go pick it up and try to find the owner, leave it and try to find the owner or just walk by it like everyone else. i didn't know which way the owner was walking so, i left the glove were it was because i worried that if they came back to look for it they wouldn't find it if i was toting it about so i turned around to find the owner of the glove. i don't know why i thought the owner would have passed me but i took the chance.

i was looking for a person with one right glove that was mostly white except for a black zig-zag line.

i found her about one hundred and fifty feet from where the glove dropped. she didn't understand english too well but she understood my pointing.


i called both the house and the cell phone. no answer.


i actually drew two diagrams on this thing for work.


i also bought a new bag to schlep my stuff around.

stuff: cell phone, camera, pda, work cell phone, book that i never read on the go.


sometimes i break the rules just to see if anyone cares

maybe that runs in the family


three peanut butter cups is one too many but there were three in the fundraising package so what could i do

where's the damn question mark on this thing?

(i hand wrote that last one)

i have a yen symbol ¥
i have a euro symbol €
i have a pound symbol £

all ready, at hand, but no question mark

what's up with that?

Sunday, March 13, 2005

I labeled him a dumbass, if he proves me wrong I will apologize

I went to my usual place to get a hair cut. I was the sixth person to take a chair in the waiting room.

I was there for a bout seven minutes when some dude walks in, past the waiting area and into the area where the three hair cutter are cutting hair. He asks “How’s long the wait?” to which he received an answer “What’s ever out there.”

The dude steps back into the waiting area stops a moment and then leaves.

I would really like to know what other answers he thought he was possibly going to get.

loss prevention

I usually have a line drawn at a certain place that I wish not to cross.

The boundary is there to keep me from getting too involved.

Trouble is that often I step over that line, sometimes I can cross back, other times I cannot.

Sometimes, crossing that line is an accidental thing, sometimes I get carried over by momentum, sometimes crossing that line is a purposeful thing.

I was asked to pick up Little g again this past Saturday, so I did. Driving her home I received a phone call.

“I’m looking for *Green Catfish*”

It was a voice a didn’t recognize.

“That’s me”

“I’m Detective *So-n-so* with *some department store’s* Loss Prevention Division. Do you know *Miss E*?”

Miss E is Little g’s older sister

“Yes, I do”

“Do you know how I can get in touch with her mother?”

“I believe she’s at work”

“Yeah, I can’t seem to reach her. Are you a good friend of the family?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m driving her little sister home as we speak”

“Well, Miss E was seen trying to remove an item from the store without paying for it. Can you come by and pick her up?”

“I’ll be right there”

I was told the address and to ask for Loss Prevention when I got there. The store was in a busy shopping area but I was lucky enough to get a metered spot. I entered the store looked around and headed towards the back. As I approached the door that was my best guess for Loss Prevention, out came the detective and he nodded me in. I guess he was watching the doors from the surveillance cameras.

I followed him into a small room with had a wall full of tv screens all showing different camera shots. Miss E was sitting at the far end of the narrow room. I didn’t look her in the eye, I couldn’t, so I don’t know if she even looked at me.

The detective showed me the item, a pink purse type thing for $21.50 or something like that, he told me she removed the tags and tucked it under her arm, under her coat.

He also told me if the corporation chooses to pursue the issue it could cost her mother $250. I then printed my name and signed my signature and said “Thank you”

During the process, I did happen to glance at Miss E, she wasn’t looking anywhere near me.

The whole time driving there Little g was asking what was going on, I told her the minimum and after we left the store she sort of figured it out. She later asked for a confirmation, once we were along, I told her she wasn’t going to get one from me.

During the whole trip home I said nothing, she said nothing, Little g thankfully said nothing.

I said nothing because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t even disappointed, I was surprised.

I didn’t think she was stealing because she had no money and she was alone she I didn’t think it was peer pressure. So, I asked myself if she was doing it for attention.

Her mom works nights and weekends with Tuesdays and Wednesdays off. I spend some time with Little g because circumstances require it. Miss E will be seventeen at the end of May, I usually leave her to herself because I can’t imagine she would like hanging about with her mother’s boyfriend. I always try to accommodate her when she needs something, like a ride somewhere or maybe a few bucks but other than that there isn’t much.

Her mother isn’t supposed to take phone calls at work so I held off on calling her, she can send and receive calls on her breaks but I never know when they are but after a couple hours of debate I called her cell phone hoping to get voice mail.

The phone rang four times, the fifth ring goes to voice mail but Lady G picked up.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Call me when you can”

“Is it important?”

“Yeah, but nothing that can’t wait”

“Tell me now”

“It can wait”

Then there was a series of motherly questions and I told her all that happened.

“You shouldn’t have told me until later” she said.

“That’s why I wanted you to call me when you got a chance, but I didn’t know if the detective left you a message or not and I didn’t want you to go home all mad”

She told me to call Miss E’s grandmother to tell her what happened just as the phone cut out.

She called me back and asked it Miss E thanked me for picking her up. I told her neither of us said anything to each other. I said: my concern was getting her out of there and back home, to which she said: she should have thanked you because if I had to leave work to pick her up she would be dead, and then the phone cut out again.

She called me back again after a few minutes and asked for some further details and if I had called her grandmother.

“I didn’t call” I said.

“Why not”

“Because what good would that do?”

“Because her grandmother was planning to send her on a college tour that costs $1600, and now she might not want to send her”

“Is that best for Miss E?”

I knew asking that question was like poking a bear with a short stick, mothers usually don’t like their parenting skills questioned, not by anyone.

I caught some shit, pretty close to the amount I thought I would.

I was prepared to say even more things that would most likely land me in hot water but I really didn’t see an opening before the phone cut out again.

what's more important



my relationship with her mother

Is it really my place to say anything?

That's where I have the line drawn comes in.

And also the difference between where the line is and where it possibly should be

I wish I knew where some sixteen year old girl wanted that line drawn because then what I think really doesn't matter. The trouble is finding out will most likely take a rather large step over my line and there will most likely be no backward step this time.

Friday, March 11, 2005

cause the effect

I read the paper then called the owner, it would be better if she were to hear it from me first, it would be best if when the other calls come in, she can say "I've know about it".

The one that left was in the paper, and the company was mentioned, nothing bad but the mention added value to the one that left.

The company is still being used. Her words that she "never took anything from the company" rang in my ears.

I told the owner "She only saw her own effort and not the things that were afforded to her"

The owner and I talk about other things, plans, concerns, newly acquired season tickets, then she says "you should increase your self imposed fee" and she mentions a figure more than twice what it is now. I asked "a month?!" because I was shocked by the figure.

It's not that my efforts aren't worth the price tag she had just placed on them, it was actually pretty close to the amount I could get out on the street for my services all things considered, but out on the street I wouldn't give the same effort. I wouldn't be worth it. I wouldn't care.

the starfish is a hunter which may seem an odd label for such a slow moving, unassuming creature.

it's technique is to just sit and wait

it will find a clam, rest on top of it until the clam can no longer keep its shell closed

not very flashy but effective

I'm no wise sage but...

if you read me enough you know that I rarely say anything with the utmost certainty. The reason being is that I know that I don't really know that much with the utmost certainty but today is different.

I will tell you something with the utmost certainty.

Something that may save a life.

And certainly feel free to pass this knowledge on.

I work in an office as a lot of folks do and in this office I can transfer calls to any office phone line. Sometimes, one of my phone lines will ring and on the other end is a poor misguided but persistent fax machine.

Now the fax machine doesn't know any better, I can't really get mad at the machine, it's just doing what some inattentive human told it to do.

I don't know about you but I don't speak fax but I do know someone who does, that someone is my company's fax machine. So, when I get a misguided call from a fax machine I do exactly what I do when I get a misguided call from a human, I transfer that call to someone who can help, someone who speaks that language, so to speak. I transfer that call to my company's fax machine.

If your company's phone system can transfer phone calls to the fax machine, you will want to thank me later.

I share this knowledge free of charge and no thanks is necessary.

I've actually done something similar with more convential phone/fax line setups and have plugged the phone line into the fax machine because I knew in three minutes that fax machine would be calling again.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

My mom's a big tea drinker

she drinks her tea with sugar

she likes to drink tea at work

i drink tea at the second office

tea because it's easier to make than coffee

i drink my tea with sugar

so we both need sugar

one day it came up in conversation that she would like to have the packets of sugar so she can bring them into work

i said you can buy the packets at the supermarket

she said I don't want to buy them

i like the packets too because the sugar keeps easier/better

i bought the packets of sugar at the supermarket for me

but i steal them from the Dunkin Donuts i'm in every morning for her

so, at lunch I'm thinking

"If not me, then who?"

"If not now, then when?"

and I'm just about to tell myself to "shut the fuck up"

when then I think



is that even a word?

it has to be, I assured myself

but I didn't believe me

so I took out a piece of paper and spelled it out



"Yup, that's a word" I said and under my breath I added "spaz"

Unfortunately, this is the best me I've got

if we're being honest with each other there is something I think I should tell you.

I sometimes will eat sunflower seeds at my desk

not the shelled ones

the ones with the shells on

I eat then one at a time splitting them open with my front teeth and then I will suck the spit off the shell and either spit or drop the empties into a paper cup

that's not the worst of it

today I was doing such as described

when you eat the seeds one at a time the shell stays hard and sometimes will splinter

sometimes the splinters will shoot to the back of your throat nearly at the place of no return which forces you to do a cat-with-a-hairball routine or you can swallow it wondering if this pointed piece of shell will make it all the way down

well, when that situation arose recently I couldn't get the piece to move forward so I decided to swallow it and take my chances unfortunately I somehow got it to stick into some back part of my tongue, right past the gag reflex spot

That splinter in my tongue was there for two and a half hours

and I don't think I have learned my lesson yet

if sometimes i love to fight, does that make me a lover or a fighter?

So, I was by here a few times yesterday but nothing made it past the publish button.

There was something about how I was being serious about something and I was about to say "I went the extra mile" but I didn't say it because I didn't do it but I did laugh about it so I felt the need to explain myself.

There were some complaints about me having to go into the second job on an off day.

There was something in between those two which I forget.

So, today I share another Little g story.

After the excitement of witnessing the police making an arrest right in front of us this past Saturday we did go to the toy store.

Little g was looking at some stuff and said she wants to get something.

"Go ahead. If you have the money" I told her.

"I don't have any money" she replied

"It looks likes you need to get a job"

"You can hire me"

"What are your skills?"

"I can argue" she said after a brief pause

"I usually do my own arguing but I'll keep you in mind"

I bought her what she wanted

"You owe me some arguing" I made the mistake of saying at the checkout line

We dropped by my house to waste some time and mainly to figure out the plan on what to tell her mother about me buying her a Bratz doll that she really doesn't need.

She started arguing with me and then said "That will be five dollars"

"Listen" I said "First, you still owe me twenty. Second, you are supposed to argue for me not against me. You might possibly get some money if you argue with yourself"

she argued against that second point and charged me for that too
So, I was by here a few times yesterday but nothing made it past the publish button.

There was something about how I was being serious about something and I was about to say "I went the extra mile" but I didn't say it because I didn't do it but I did laugh about it so I felt the need to explain myself.

There were some complaints about me having to go into the second job on an off day.

There was something in between those two which I forget.

So, today I share another Little g story.

After the excitement of witnessing the police making an arrest right in front of us this past Saturday we did go to the toy store.

Little g was looking at some stuff and said she wants to get something.

"Go ahead. If you have the money" I told her.

"I don't have any money" she replied

"It looks likes you need to get a job"

"You can hire me"

"What are your skills?"

"I can argue" she said after a brief pause

"I usually do my own arguing but I'll keep you in mind"

I bought her what she wanted

"You owe me some arguing" I made the mistake of saying at the checkout line

We dropped by my house to waste some time and mainly to figure out the plan on what to tell her mother about me buying her a Bratz doll that she really doesn't need.

She started arguing with me and then said "That will be five dollars"

"Listen" I said "First, you still owe me twenty. Second, you are supposed to argue for me not against me. You might possibly get some money if you argue with yourself"

she argued against that second point and charged me for that too

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

we be us

I occasionally catch myself trying to please, or more likely in my case not to displease, the audience or more likely the potential audience but then I realize I have no idea why people come by my site so I'm forced to write for me

But still there is an urge to write for 'them', it's sometimes hard to write like no one is reading when you know someone is. There is a feeling that I need to justify the time that they take to read this crap.

"You be you" is what I tell myself - a quote from Jack Lalanne

fighting verse - "it's my blog and i'm still pulling punches"

I remind myself of what I heard when I was in attendance at a boxing match and a fighter was cut, the woman fight doctor was looking at the injured boxer for what seemed like a long time and someone in the crowd yelled "This ain't no choir practice, Honey!"

From my seat it was a bad cut so if the doctor had stopped the fight I wouldn't have questioned it but I did come away with a phase that I sometimes use to make a point from that guy's ignorant and rude remark.

In a fight there is sometimes some blood, it's the nature of the sport, make your judgments accordingly

This ain't no choir practice, Honey!

I'm here talking to myself, spouting off about what I think, restating self-made opinions, seeing if stuff holds the proverbial water.

If you get hit while I'm shadow boxing, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to hit you but chances are you walked into it.

This is my ring - the rules are simple: watch if you want but protect yourself at all times, try to keep the punches up and no punching when a fighter is down.

that's my theory, anyway

Monday, March 07, 2005


I didn't know.


but presently there are three variations of vodka in the freezer

Sunday, March 06, 2005

same old, same old but not quite

I was asked to pick up Little g again this past Saturday

Her after school program is in the building I went to high school in

The same building where I met her mother

The same building that one of my sisters teaches at

I always try to get there early

One reason is to get a prime parking spot

Another reason is to just be able to sit and maybe read a bit or listen to the radio

Or sometimes to shoot a photo or two

I get Little g and we take a left, go one block and I notice a commotion, a police commotion. I hear a siren or two and I’m passed by two cop cars going the opposite direction. I slow a bit because I hear other sirens coming, I think “This must be close.”

I travel another block of the divided roadway and next I see is two marked cars and one unmarked car heading towards me about a block away heading the wrong way, I think the cars are on the wrong side because of the traffic that is impeding their progress. I pull over to let them go by. I see two young guys run in front of me, I think that they are just trying to beat the cop cars across the street. The cop cars don’t go by, they pull right in front of where I’ve stopped. Then I see the young guys put their hands against the wall, just like you see on tv, then I see why, several other cops come from the side street with their weapons drawn. The young guys lay on the sidewalk.

I think “Wow, I’ve never had front row seats before” and then Little g asks me “What’s going on?”

“A bust” I said. And then a car pulls up quickly behind me. Inside the car is a female not too happy with the situation, she gets out of her car and tells the cops of her concerns.

I look around, things are getting busy, too busy. I take a photo.

If it were just me in the truck I probably would have taken a few photos but cops are rather shy about photographs and I also start to feel the area is unsafe for Little g.

I start to pull away and Little g asks what I’m doing, “I’m getting out of here” is what I said. She wanted to stay and watch.

I had left enough room in front of my truck so I could pull out if I had to, and now I felt I had to.

I forced my truck through and left.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before” Little g said.

“Yeah, me neither” I told her.

I’ve seen arrests and disbursements before but I’ve never been front row when guns were drawn on the open street in a crowded neighborhood at 1:30 in the afternoon.

Then we went to the toy store.

Friday, March 04, 2005

If people only spoke when spoken to there would be nothing said

there are times when I'm with folks that know me and something will get said and those that know me will look right at me expecting a response because I usually have no trouble speaking my mind but sometimes I say nothing.

Sometimes I'm of the opinion - if you folks want something said, say it yourself - because obviously you already know my opinion


there are times I don't look because I don't want to care

the world is round

the cylindricalness of it all is what surprises me sometimes

two independent statements about spring are made months apart, have different meanings at the time but then get linked up with the same meaning later on

see a stamp over there, that same stamp is one of your refrigerator magnets

read stuff like this Depleted uranium: Dirty bombs, dirty missiles, dirty bullets which has been going on for decades, and wonder if there is any political hope left, and read someone else is wondering the same thing.

stay at the same place of employment for years and years, see folks come and see them go then see them come again

this is the part of the post where I usually try to stick a period or close the thought but I have nothing


Thursday, March 03, 2005

son of a preacherman

So, for some reason I have Aretha Franklin’s “Son of a Preacherman” in my head which makes me think of my dad.

My dad was a high school drop out, Marine, Korean War Vet, Supervisor for Raytheon, Preacherman. He was also an avid reader although I rarely caught him reading anything but informational stuff.

He taught himself ancient Hebrew.

Years ago my family pitched in and bought some land in Vermont and we would vacation up there as a family and we would bring the pets, there was always a cat or two. The cats would usually go out hunting at night and in the morning there would always be a mouse or a shrew or a mole or a vole – dead, somewhere around.

It seemed a waste all these little furry carcasses just being tossed into the nighttime fire so I said too bad Uncle Lyman isn’t here because I bet he would skin them. My dad’s brother Lyman had died a few years before.

My dad took this as a challenge, as I thought he might, and skinned a star-nosed mole.

Unfortunately, I was dared to skin the next thing that showed up the following morning. The experience nearly made me a vegetarian.

So, somewhere in the house I have a couple of rodent (or rodent-like) pelts which maybe I’ll find and post a picture of.

I’m not actually a backwoods hillbilly, I just act like one from time to time.

Anyway, the point of this was going to be that two things that I got from my dad were: one that I’ll read almost anything I’ll get my hands on (mostly informational stuff) and I’ll almost do anything on a dare if I think you don’t think that I’ll do it.

Which are probably just symptoms of being able to learn on my own and not being afraid of trying things that I have never tried before which I guess is what he really taught me.

So, thanks dad.

Sometimes you rocked. ...but really, skinning the mole was just weird.

Oh! and I think I need to steal more kisses on the sly

Shoot the moon, rope the wind

When I see folks shooting for the moon, I'll tell them they are never going to make it but then I'll tell them exactly where to aim if they are to have any chance at all.

sometimes, I need to remember better

I forgot

I was waiting for spring

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I'm told there hasn't been a winter that hasn't been followed by a spring

'Something happened to Jeff'

there is always going to be war - just because cooler heads don't always prevail

so there will always be a need for troops

either volunteer or otherwise

maybe the volunteers didn't know the risks, maybe they did


"you definitely come back different" - Lance Corporal Robert Hoyt

the first step is to get them back

Soldiers Angels

Any Soldier

"Don't you know your brother's a murderer?" Jeff asked of his sister

his sister didn't know what to say but what she did say was "You're my brother"

brother, father, sister, mother




believe in spring

I used to write like this

someone searched for Katy Jurado cleavage and got a hit from my site from Feb 04

Here's the cleavage reference.

I also got my clothes ready for my plans later in the day, at eight, at Hamersly's Bistro. I produced a sports jacket that I thought would fit the bill, buttoned it up, one loose top button, one missing bottom button, check pocket for button, button in first pocket checked, need black thread, had found needles looking for something else two days ago, black thread found, proudly sew on button, button up jacket this time bottom button first, bottom button works great, relish sewing skills as I hear the top button hit the floor, I think shit. I was going to tighten that button anyway but I would have preferred it had stayed where it was. Sew on top button, try on jacket, button buttons, tug on buttons, buttons stay put. Assess jacket with slacks, shirt and tie, assessment good but too much formality, loose the jacket, assess the outfit sans jacket, assessment better.

Lady G is my accompaniment for dinner, both get Pinot Gris, both get the roasted chicken, roasted chicken because that didn't have any unknown partners that would show up on the plate. Pork, veal & seafood were also choices for other diners. Ordered two different dessert wines and one upside down apple cake with ginger ice cream. Taste both dessert wines, both sweet, Lady G has the better tasting of the two to start, it was passed to me for tasting, I say this one's tastier, she agrees, tastier wine is returned to Lady G.

While dining Lady G says something to table next while he is waiting for his her to return from the private room at the end. Lady G says we were here at restaurant week.

Restaurant week is when most of the fine restaurants in Boston Proper offer special menu items at reduced prices to get more people to try fine dining.

Neighboring table responds, "I don't know what restaurant week is. I come here all the time", his her returns and they both leave.

I was asked did you see his ears? I glanced over to observe ears that looked like they belonged on a caricature of Prince Charles.

We were present for restaurant week in the past, however we ordered from the regular menu so the full price was paid.

So, maybe I don't care to know what half the stuff on the menu is but at least my ears don't stick out of my pompous head passed a set of narrow shoulders. I made mentioned that we got a cold shoulder after restaurant week was mentioned, she said so what? we'll never see him again.

The message we don't have time for self-important jack-asses.

Anyway, she notices that the gay waiter eyed her neckline so after he leaves she asked my opinion of her cleavage. So, I still get to be a gentleman but I get to determine if there is too much of a good thing showing. So, I look and honestly say, I do not think that's too much (but there was a bit). Then I add, but he had a better view to which she informed me to fornicate with myself.

I used to pick blueberries

the routine is this:

Dunkin Donuts coffee

sometimes I will make another purchase from Dunkin Donuts which very rarely strays from a Blueberry Donut, Coffee Roll, Coffee Cake Muffin or a plain donut. That's it and it's in that order of preference.

Today the routine is going as usual - paper, coffee and I decide to get a blueberry donut.

I sit at my desk and open the Dunkin Donut bag and inside there is a muffin.

"A muffin?!" I exclaim "How the heck did I get a muffin?" but then I realize that blueberry muffins are by far more popular than blueberry donuts (even though the donuts kick ass over the muffins) so, I figure the donut dude was just playing the odds of what I wanted after he heard blueberry because indeed the muffin was of the blueberry persuasion.

That's the kind of thing I really concern myself with.

in hindsight I did think that the price I paid for what I thought I got was too much.

And ya know what? I really could do without eating that crap.
I went by the usual place for lunch, Danielle was there.

“What are you having, Sunshine?” she asked

“A ginger ale” I said

“A ginger ale or a ginger ale in a plastic cup?”

I smiled as I said “A regular, normal ginger ale”

“So, you really just came by to see me then”


“Are you going to order lunch or do you want to see the specials”

“I would love to see the specials”

I’m familiar with the regular menu.

I ordered the chicken parm sandwich from the specials, it came up from the kitchen with lettuce and pickles inside. Danielle sent it back without me even looking at it.

She wasn’t having a good day and it seemed to be getting worse.

She was telling that she couldn’t stand anyone at the bar. To my left were two guys, one was about fifty and a pompous ass, the other, who was getting his ear bent, looked like some working stiff, beyond them around the bend in the bar were a couple, probably late thirties, not talking to each other.

“Just look at them” she told me.

I looked and said “Yeah, I see what you mean but now I’m worried about me”

“Don’t worry you’re alright”

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

i • should • be • happy

So, the headache is gone, I think.

My coffee is cold but I will still drink it

Every thing old is new again, it seems

I should have saved my notes

Sometimes I don’t know if I do nice things because I’m a nice guy or because I want to prove that others are a bunch of asses (hint – I don’t think I’m a nice guy)

The second job is starting to get to me. Certain things were ignored for the past five years despite my warnings and pleadings now those neglected things are being sought to be fixed.

It took five years to break it – it going to take awhile to fix it.

I should be happy things are being fixed.

i • should • be • happy
yesterday there were too many requests. I wanted to get angry about it but there was no one to blame but myself.

the requests from the second job were all potential money, they should have been requested earlier but sometimes there is no time, or at least it sneaks up on you.

Walking to my truck as I'm leaving for the night the owner pulls up next to me and rolls down the window on her Mercedes E class. I walked over and told her "tonight was crazy" I also told her the new help doesn't know as much as she thinks she knows. I had to fix a standard marketing piece which she had changed for the worse. I know the new help and myself are going to come to blows (figuratively) it seems she took a course or something in computers because she knows a lot of what's but she doesn't know the why's so she ends up saying things that aren't always true.

The owner asked what was crazy, I told her.

"I'll talk to them" she said "They're just a little bit enthusiastic"

"I know. So, what can you say to them? I've got to wait for them to settle down and then break it to them"

I was just blowing off some steam

the new agent, who is actually a former agent, is still a bit a ditz but not a stupid ditz more of a someone who just can't be bothered with details. It's interesting to hear her use metaphors, she does more than mix them. She's gained a few wrinkles which seem to be an enigma to her cuteness.

I wonder if I've aged that much.

She's an attractive woman

I've just never been attracted

I don't know why

It probably has to do with the ditz thing

We actually have three former agents working back for us now.

Survivors we are

So I survive