Monday, February 28, 2005

This is what I sometimes save you from (notice it's unfinished)

So, I work the second job on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays under normal circumstances. This past Sunday I knew I would have to be there tonight, an off night. A marketing piece had to be put together, that should have been all I needed to do, just put the print the thing out and put it together.

The days starts with that I need to go to the second job, snow is on the way, a snow emergency with parking bans may go into effect, I will most likely have to drive my sister to pick up her jeep at the garage.

Early in the day Lady G calls me and says thanks, she says she was happy with the gift. Or more accurately the gift packaging which was the real gift, it’s like giving a hand written letter, it just means a bit more. The day before she actually handed half of the cash back, she didn’t need it, I took it back, she kept one bill in the box and one in the envelope, the book thing she kept intact. I guess that was more than half given back.

She asks about my plans. “Things are up in the air” I said. “Like what?” she asked. “Well, I might have to drive my sister to get her Jeep. It might be ready today” I answered. “Oh, because I wanted to take you to the movies because you have been spending too much time at *the second job*” I was quiet about going in there later in the day. “I’ll call you later” she said as she hung up the phone.

I get a call, someone is asking about the marketing piece, “It was emailed after I got home. I was planning on doing it tonight” is what I told the person asking the question.

I get another call, it’s my sister “I can pick the Jeep up any time before 8PM.” That will have to be first on the list because a parking ban was called for after 8PM.

I get another call on the way to the garage to get the Jeep, “Hi, are you busy?” I was asked.

“Yeah, but go ahead”

“I need an ad”

She tells me the size and where I can

the package is the gift

Lady G's birthday was yesterday. She needs new tires for her Ford Explorer so being the romantic that I am I figured that I would kick in some cash for her tire buying needs.

But me being me, I'm not just going to hand her a wad of cash, I'm going to package it nicely and present her with a wad of cash.

My presentation led to the creation of:

a custom box

a custom envelope

and a custom I-don't-know-what-the-heck-you-call-this

She was bragging about my skills to her friends and family. It almost made the $45 dollars I dropped at the store for supplies worth it (I bought a bunch of unneeded stuff)

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Have a nice trip

The niece is about so cartoons are on and during one of the change overs the Schoolhouse Rock with the bill that is trying to become a law comes on.

During the following commercial I sing "I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capital Hill" then I get up to leave the room.

"Are you going to the Senate?" I'm asked as I'm leaving.

"Yes" I said.

"Have a nice trip, Timmy" is what my two year old niece adds.

Friday, February 25, 2005

I don't know why my brother hasn't been fired yet

so, today my brother's boss told him "You have until April to complete the project."

and my brother doesn't know what expression he gave but his boss went on to tell my brother that 'until April' included all of March and the last week of February.

My brother started to laugh and his boss asked "What?!"

My brother said "By the last week in February, you mean Monday"

an incomplete list

So, last night


stern note writing

check writing

a trip around my internet world

a decision to leave it alone

left over chicken fried rice

two shots of Sambuca - It was somebody's birthday

Thursday, February 24, 2005

A statement was made and then a question came, followed by silence.

The silence was mine, an assessment was being made, an assessment to open something that usually remains closed. A look in her eyes confirmed that she was waiting for that openness. The problem, looks can be deceiving. Was I seeing what was there or was I seeing what I wanted to be there?

I assessed the statement. It seemed to say she wanted to know.

I went over the question. She was asking to know.

I don’t mind telling but for my own benefit I need to know that she won’t be sorry that she asked.

I debate whether I should make the judgment of who hears what. Truth is truth and all that.

Another look in her eyes tells me she is still waiting, the look goes deep. The depth seems to be endless. I look away before an end is seen.

I tell her.

Her expression didn’t change but the depth in her eyes disappeared.

My first thought – “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.”

“Be careful what you ask for”, was my second thought and then I closed what was opened.

Yeah, I really don't have a brother. It's just a cover.

so, the discussion starts about cooking steaks. The participants are two co-workers, I'm doing my best to be quiet. I'm no expert in cooking steaks but I know some things

one co-worker is saying that once you cook the steak past pink in the middle it doesn't matter how much longer you cook it for, it is like rubber, he claims to have knowledge of cooking

the other co-worker is saying that once well done is achieved and the steak is removed, it can still be tender

the first co-worker claims that this tender well done steak is scientifically impossible because you cook all the juices out

"scientifically impossible" is what got me to speak up

bold claims to something I know not to be true gets me every time

if he said that a tender well done steak is difficult to achieve I would have been able to sit quiet, I can agree with that but to say it's scientifically impossible …I don't know why that bothers me so much.

That's the same reason Mythbusters bothers me so much, they make scientific claims yet neither of them knows much about scientific studies, they always screw up the control.

Well, not always just mostly always.

How hard would it be to contact a real scientist, if they can't get the controls right? or leave the 'controls' out altogether because they are really just entertainers.

If they just leave the word science out of their show I could watch it more peacefully because otherwise it's kind of entertaining.


so the plan at my brother's work is to bring in one of those table top grills and start grilling up some chicken

when the bosses come over and ask what's going on. he'll say "We're just grilling up some chicken"

then the bosses will say "There is no cooking in the office"

then he'll ask "How is this any different than using the office toaster or the office microwave?"

then the bosses will get rid of the office toaster and the office microwave

all because nobody has the balls to ask people to stop being a jackass

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

sometimes, I conform but usually with a sly grin that causes folks to wonder

The following is an actual email I sent to someone. I usually don't share emails with the populous even though I don’t mind it when someone shares mine.

I’m weird like that.

You get to see this one because I think it’s funnily strange and quite innocuous.

And most likely unnecessary.

The why:

35 is the number of contributors listed on BTB

B.T.B. I tried it without the periods and didn't like it

I thought the 'inspected & passed' message seemed like a validation so I kept it as is

the how:

“35” - Arial 28.087pt

“B.T.B” – Arial Narrow 32.49pt

“INSP˙D & P˙S˙D” – Arial Narrow 22.505pt (Spacing between character – 85%, Spacing between word – 185%) and has an outline of .404pt and is placed .035" off of the baseline which is a 1.465” circle

The dots for the abbreviations ( ˙ ) are unsurprisingly called 'dot above' in my character map.

The odd sizes are because it was drawn at one size and shrunk.

The latest book "The Shoemaker and the Tea Party"

It mentions Ebenezer McIntosh, a cobbler who also became "Captain General of the Liberty Tree," a principal 'mob' leader of the resistance to the Stamp Act. He has never been recognized.

His 'mob' was responsible for the Boston Tea Party.

The book is mainly about George Robert Twelves Hewes, also a shoemaker.

"a nobody who briefly became a somebody in the Revolution and, for a moment near the end of his life, a hero"

Dude made shoes until one day he had enough

titles are for conformists

maybe I've got it wrong

maybe there is nothing to fear

maybe there is no need for concern

maybe because I've got mine - that's good enough

maybe I don't owe anything to anybody

maybe I can just turn a blind eye

I sometimes wish I could believe just one of those

any one

just for awhile

Blogged in the Desert

since I was there

so, I'm at home reading and for some reason I think "That was way too many words for an ad" then I wonder exactly how many words were there.

The ad in question was one of a pair that caused me to reformat all the ads to make things fit. I wasn't digging it too much.

I didn't write the ad I only had to make it fit and if I really wanted to know how many words there were all I had to do was check the email I sent with the PDF file attached and count the words.

That was way to much work to find out something I really didn't need to know but it did make me remember that I didn't send an email with the PDF file attached.

So, I had to go back to the office and email the PDF.

The ad with too many words had 119 words.

Most ads are thirty words but it was a million dollar property so I let it get wordy.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Sometimes my only goal is to get back to bed
a writer?! Hell, I'm just slightly a reader.

Sunday, February 20, 2005


I got to pay myself today, well I wrote the check, someone else has to sign it. I should have it Tuesday night.

That curved line on the Coke cans under the Coca-Cola logo I believe is called the “dynamic ribbon” logo and is the property of the Coca-Cola Company

It’s not just any ribbon, it’s dynamic. I like the name of the logo better than the logo

lions and tiger and bears

“Hey, what are you doing” I asked as I was making my way from my broken meter parking spot to her house. I was at a metered spot because she has residential parking in her neighborhood that gets enforced during the day.

“Nothing” she said and from the sound of it she was in bed. She works nights which throws our collective schedules off.

“I’m coming up” I said as I hung up the phone.

Actually, I did make a side trip to the local CVS in search of discount candy after I parked my truck. I didn’t see any candy that I would eat which means I didn’t see any that I would mail overseas. I did get some peeps though because she likes peeps.

I took the stairs two at a time because that’s my style. I ran the bell and got no answer and was in the process of getting her key from my pocket when my cell phone rang. It was her.

“You don’t think I’m going to get out of bed do you?”

“I was just about to put the key in the door when you called.”

I went upstairs, she was in bed, it was about noon. I gave her the peeps and five chocolate roses and said “I’m working on something else.” She replied “I don’t need anything” and as she gave me what turned out to be a leather credit card holder and a large heart shaped cookie on a stick. Valentine’s day was four days ago but we were busy but then we’re not much for convention anyway.

We talk about this and talk about that then she asked for something from the frig, I go to get it and I hear her say something that ends in “in the freezer” I look in the freezer and see frozen corn, frozen broccoli, ice cubes and one of those soft gel ice packs. I can’t figure out why either she or I would want any of those things so I left everything in place and went back up stairs.

“I didn’t hear what you wanted in the freezer” I said

“I wanted the ice pack. I have something to show you” and she hops up, quick as a cat, to her knees, the comforter falls to the bed, she there in matching black under things. I think “That’s a nice show” but she isn’t finished yet. She turns her back to me and leans forward on her right hand and with the left she reaches around to the waist band of the lower part of her underthings. I think “Great, I honestly didn’t hear you and now you’re going to moon me but don’t you realize that this isn’t going to offend me" which I didn't actually believe but I did think it. Sometimes, my snide remarks are just for me.

The only light in the room is coming from the TV and what little is peeking through the one small window with the closed blinds, she lowers her bikini cut undergarment and displays a bruise that encompasses the whole of her left cheek which even in the dimly lit room and on her darkly colored skin is quite noticeable.

“Oh my!” is what I think I said.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Friday, February 18, 2005

I need to wash a coffee mug

which attracts more the known or the unknown?

or is it a combination of both?

would you know one exsisted without the other?

you have to know something to know that there are further unknowns

the known - painted in a small area of an otherwise blank canvas

will the piece turn out like you imagine?

different better worse

I need to wash a coffee mug


“Of what are you thinking?” Peary asked one of his Eskimo guides.
“I do not have to think,” was the answer; “I have plenty of meat.”
-Will Durant, Our Oriental Heritage


Yesterday at work

I answered the phone with my usual business greeting.

“Hey when you coming by?” Lady G asked.

“I can be there in twenty minutes.”

“I may not need you then” said in such a way to express that the need was carnal.

“Can you meet me somewhere half way then?”

“I thought you would have been by yesterday. I have something for you.”

nothing was ever said about me dropping by but I ususally would have been by, by now.

“Yeah, I thought I was going to be by too. I have tomorrow off, I’ll come by then. What is it?”

"You'll have to wait to see."

today is yesterday’s tomorrow.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Vay Kay

I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow.

I just thought you might like to know.

a dream

I was there with co-workers meeting with some political hotshot, we were being shown through the office to a waiting room. Along the way, there was an easel set up with a blown-up photo of some house. The picture of the house was noticed by my co-workers and the actual house was recognized by me. The young guy showing us through the place noticed the looks and started singing the praises of the house. I should have kept my mouth shut because I wasn't there to offer my opinions on real estate, but I said "I hear the roof leaks," which didn't go over well with the young guy. The young guy, who had a stupid haircut and who I thought was full of hot air, then gets defensive and angry to which I responded by saying "I just think if you are going to talk about real estate you should know something about the estate" by now my co-workers, although were in agreement with me, distanced themselves from me by taking subtle steps away while I was planting my feet firmly.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

blue, green, pink

so, the plan was to just say my version of the word poker which is more like poe-kaah to the rest of the world, I knew the microphone was around somewhere because I tried to use it for something different recently on the old machine.

I found the mike and looked to the back of the machine to the sound card region, the green hole had the speakers plugged into it which left a blue and a pink hole. The holes weren't labeled so I plugged the mike into the closest one to me which was the pink one. I looked at the monitor and a window popped up and was asking what did I just plug into the pink microphone jack. I said "A microphone, dumbass" even though I was grateful for the message because it confirmed that I did indeed plug the microphone into the microphone jack.

I thought just saying poker would be stupid and not funny so I thought I would read one of my posts which wouldn't be funny but would be less stupid but I wasn't feeling any of my posts so, then I thought read someone else's post and I think you might know what happened after that.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

a reading finished

because I absolutely do requests

here's part two of xtx's receiving manager post

insert your own title here

A reading

So, I plug in the microphone

So, now I'm wired for sound

So, I think what now

So, I say "I know I'll read something from someone's blog"

So, I start looking around

So, I find this

I do crack up twice and not because I think Tracy's situation is something to laugh at, it's just that I find some of the lines funny when they are coming from me

Here is one full minute of my reading of xtx's post regarding the receiving manager

I hope things turned out a o k with the flowerz

fava beans

The latest book I bought is "Bloody Falls of the Coppermine"

it's about how two Catholic missionary priests were killed by two Eskimos who had never seen a European before. The Eskimos ended up eating the priests' livers, they are brought to trial for murder for the purpose of teaching the other Eskimos a lesson.

there are no teeth to your bite

I was thinking of something for this space here and I kept on deleting things which is odd because there are things I wish to say, maybe later so for now you get some fronts.

and there may be a story going if you pick the teeth (they're a link)

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day

"Tim's not busy. I should send him to get my wife flowers"

"What time is it?" I asked as I looked at my watch and then said "By now your wife has already gotten flower from me"

the why - in part

"I've often wondered what type of environment produced the guy you are" - Sierra

I grew up in a neighborhood of Boston, MA. My family consisted of my father, my mother, my two older sisters and my two younger sisters.

We were working class poor if you went by the numbers but I didn't know it at the time. I thought everyone wore hand-me-downs. I had no brothers so I got my cousin's leftovers.

My family was always active in the church, in my case a congregational church (were the people run the church by voting - which probably has something to do with my defense of voting politically). My dad eventually became minister of the church.

My childhood neighborhood is worldwide famous for it's racism, I didn't know it growing up because the only people of color I knew were members of the one black family that came to church and my dad treated them just like he treated everyone else. I followed likewise.

There came a time when that family had to leave because the neighborhood became too volatile and I remember the day before they left my dad took me to visit them. I didn't know it at the time but it was a rather dangerous to do, for my dad to take his only son to the house a black family. He did it anyway because it was the right thing to do.

In all the good doing of the church I learned that peoples' wishes for good intentions don't always equal what they are willing to show up to do. I learned to trust actions and not words therefore I tend to notice those who act more than those that speak.

I also learned that often my discomfort would be far outweighed by the good that could come from me doing things that I would rather not do. Things like visiting nursing homes. I was never forced to go but I would never be at ease when I didn't. Somewhere inside there is a need to help others.

I also learned that a lot of folks get forgotten just because other folks no longer find it convenient to remember.

I was taught to remember.

If this post answered any questions you may have wondered about, thank Radiohumper. This is a valentine to her.

Sunday, February 13, 2005



“Hi, Tim.”

“Hi, Little g”

“Are you busy?”

“Well, I was on my way to the second job” I said as I was looking a writable CD’s while holding five collapsed boxes, packing tape and bubble-pack-lined envelopes.

“Oh because I have to drop off valentines to my cousins.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there” I said, my decision was make up for me, no writable CD’s today. They weren’t for me anyway, I was going to ship them somewhere.

I went to the front of the store to pay with my debit card, I swiped my card as instructed then handed it to the cashier as instructed. She gets distracted by some dude that is asking for a manager and places my debit card on this thing that looks an awful like one of the demagnetizing things that the stores use to disable the security devices. You know the ones that say DO NOT PLACE CREDIT CARDS ON TOP ON THIS DEVICE or something like that. Anyway, I could not see for certain because she had placed my bag of items on top of the device and I could only see the very end of it.

I thought about pointing it out to the cashier but she wasn’t having a good day and if my guess was correct, the damage had already been done, so I waited. She handed me my bag and I saw the aforementioned warning label bold as brass.

I thought “Great. No good deed goes unpunished.”

I left and headed to the nearest ATM inserted my card, choose the choice of ‘English’ entered my pin, and asked for the total to be printed on a receipt.

$342.50 is what I was informed.

I don't even know what a buoy is.

A true story about a fake story being told as if it were true.

So, Little g is sitting at my kitchen table and she says “I have a true story for you.”

Me, I like stories so I listen.

“I know this is true because there is a picture” she assures me.

“The only reason you think it’s true is because there is a picture?”

“Yeah, and the teacher says it’s true.”

“Okay” I said as I rolled my eyes

“It’s true! So, my teacher says she had this best friend who she met a summer camp. His name was Mark. They both were camp councilors and he really loved the water, he was always swimming or doing something in the water whenever he could. Then one day he wanted to see who long he could stay under water so he went and held his breathe underwater while he timed himself. The first try, he lasted 28 seconds but he felt he could do better so he tried again. On the second try he lasted a full minute, but he still felt he could do better so he tried again and then two minutes and every time he tried he felt he could do better so he kept on trying to stay under longer. Three minutes, five minutes, fifteen minute, thirty minutes…”

“Wait a minute” I interrupted “He lasted thirty minutes underwater, without breathing?”

“Yes. That’s what my teacher said. It’s a true story.”

“I don’t think folks can last longer than fifteen minutes underwater.”

“Whatever. So then he made it to an hour and then he lasted to half a day but he still felt he could do better so he got a news team there to watch him when he was going to try for a full twenty four hours. Everything was going good but then at twenty three hours they noticed he was turning blue so they pulled him out and he was covered in blue scales. He was covered in scales!”

“And there is a picture?”

“Yes. The teacher says we can each bring it home with us but I really didn’t care about it so I’m last on the list. But there’s more. So, he basically ends up living in the pool where this was all happening until one day he removes that… what’s the thing called that keeps the water in a pool?”

“I don’t know. A plug?”

“Yeah, a plug. So, he removes the plug and ends up in the Ontario …ocean? Is there an Ontario Ocean?”

“I don’t think so. There is Lake Ontario.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Is that near Canada?”

“Yeah. It’s one of the Great Lakes.”

“Yeah Lake Ontario because her parents live in Canada and she goes and visits them every weekend and when she’s going to be there they will put out a buoy so that Mark knows when she’ll be by so he can come and visit.”

“Mark the fishman?”

“Yeah! I’m not making this up. How could I make this up? I don’t even know what a buoy is.”

Which was a very good point – I thought

“I believe you’re not making this up I just doubt that your teacher is telling the truth.”

“She has a picture.”

“Of Mark the fishman?”


“Okay then”

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I say it - poe kaah

It seemed like I couldn’t lose at poker last night but comparing the ‘came with’ and ‘left with’ amount of cash in my pocket there wasn’t too much difference.

I covered the cost of my expenses and maybe twenty dollars more which sure beats walking away from the table with eighty dollars less than when you started.

I’ve recently learned some more html, why birds don’t freeze and that sometimes folks can ask a question - get a trivial answer and turn that answer into cold hard cash.

On the whole things have been quite a bargain and you can’t beat a bargain.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Nice Sweater

I don't know I guess it's a lot like when people say "I like that sweater you're wearing"

How do you reply? You probably just say "thanks" and be done with it, me I want to explain that I really had nothing to do with the sweater, I didn't knit it and I didn't even pick it out, I'm only wearing it because I haven't done a wash recently

The soft chirping noise you hear are the crickets in my head

Two days without a post?

What's up with that?

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

lines for lanes

view from above

he forced himself to carry on

"Superman's Song"

Tarzan wasn't a ladies' man
He'd just come along and scoop 'em up under his arm
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin' around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing

Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy

And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going

Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

Tarzan was king of the jungle and Lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words: "I Tarzan, You Jane."

Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home

Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

I bet he could have used a letter during the quiet times

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Walking to work

so, I thought 'holy crap' I bet folks don't see those every day and I rushed to get my camera, stood on a slippery snow mound and took a picture and after waiting forever for my day job to be through, I rushed home to look up this duck in my book o' birds.

It's listed as common and inhabits boths coasts of the United States and a good part of Canada (I think)

Actually, it was more like "Hey, a weird duck," I took a photo, forgot about it, remembered, then looked up the duck in the book and then I forgot the name.

I'll post the name later, maybe.

it's in the I's

“*Em-tee* quit” the owner told me.

“Yeah, I know. She called me Saturday so I could hear it from her.” I said as I did the double quotes thing for the last part.

“Oh, what did she say?”

“She said what I good guy I was and that she doesn’t feel bad about leaving because she never took anything from you.” After I said that I laughed.

I laughed because she was given a lot.

I was asked a few more questions and I was told a couple things. One thing was that she asked another worker to leave with her.



I have no problem with people leaving, sometimes it is what you have to do, I work two jobs because of it. The one that left was supposed to be a best friend of the owner. Recruiting within the office steps over a line so does betraying a friend.



The owner wasn’t alone during the conversation there were two others near her desk so my words were guarded. It’s bad form to speak of others behind their back, especially in front of those who really don’t need to hear. I tried to keep the information to just the facts and I saved the answers to a couple questions for a more private time but we probably won’t speak of this again.

As I’m leaving I hear from one of the others “Just for the record, you are a good guy. We were just talking about you.” I laughed because usually bad things follow both of those statements and I was going to say so but I just let it slide.

Yeah, I’m a peach.

“Even though the owner approved this last week it didn’t get done.”

I was handed a form that had normal and special advertising requests upon it, she was pointing to the special request.

I was going to explain that even though the owner may have approved a piece of advertising, I still have the right not to run it, if I have a reason. I didn’t have a reason not to run it so I ran it.

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty certain I did it.”

“I didn’t see the special ad in the trade paper.”

“We don’t run special ads in the trade paper. We run them in the neighborhood paper.”

“Oh. We don’t run special ads in the trade paper? I thought we had a section in the middle for the special ad.” She draws a rectangle in the air to help me understand which is rich because I'm thinking she's the dumb one and now I know she thinking the same of me.

“We only run a full page ad in the trade paper. It’s the neighborhood paper where we have the special ad in the middle.”

I thought I would have heard “Oh, sorry” or something but I heard nothing. And things would be different if 120,000 copies of the ad weren’t on the street, just as she asked and things would be different if we didn’t have a copy of the ad hanging on the bulletin board with the other weekly advertising that runs every week.

She should be reading all the advertising every week like all the other employees should be doing.

She doesn’t even know how we advertise yet? She’s been here for over three years.

Whenever I go to tell someone how to do their job I make certain I have my information correct, I’ll check and double check but I guess that’s just me.

"Well, can we run the special ad again this week?" is what I actually heard.

I just smiled.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

just talking

I told my sister "I've got a story for you"

And I tell her my story, she says "I think you're wrong"

I think "That's what happened, I was there, it can't be wrong" and I tell her so.

She says "I don't doubt that's what happened. I doubt whether or not that's a story. It had no real beginning, you just sort of started talking, it had no real message and it came to more of a stop than having a real ending. It had no beginning, middle or ending. I think it was just talking".

maybe so

everything old is new again

I got the call while I was trying out my sumi-e kit, a gift from Christmas as of yet unused.

“I’m leaving”

I’m not surprised

She would always tell you all the things she was doing for you, when really she was doing them for herself. Just because others receive a benefit doesn’t mean it’s not a selfish act.

The news really didn’t phase me much, she was good at some things but not so good at other things, yings and yangs and all that stuff.

There is someone new coming on soon, someone from old, someone else who said she was leaving, and now she says leaving was a mistake, the grass seems greener and all that stuff.

The two of them wouldn’t have gotten along anyway so this solves a problem.

My first reaction was to clean my brushes and get to the second job, as much as I can’t stand some of the stuff that happens there, my gut reaction is always to defend, to support. I’ve been around the place since the start, probably fifty or so people have worked here off and on, there are only three day one people left: the owner, her sister-in-law and me. I didn’t clean my brushes right away and when I did I didn’t rush into the office, I just treated yesterday like any other Saturday. This place of business has been written off more than once but we always survive and her leaving really won’t even be a hiccup.

Do the star players make the team or does the team make the star players?

I think someone is about to find out.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

maybe it's just talking

This was going to be a post about a co-worker quitting the company. Sometimes they will call me so I can hear it from them.

I don’t know why I get these calls.

“Well, thanks for calling” but my life goes on.

I was asked by this same person four months ago whether I thought a different person would quit. I said “Yes, and soon” that person quit in December. When you have seen a few people quit whether it be jobs or causes, you can usually tell who the quitters are or will be, it’s something in the eyes or the tone of the voice when they talk about certain things.

I’m not impressed with huge flames, it’s the embers where the true energy is, it’s the embers that forge steel.


But, instead of that I have a story.

It was my job to pick up Little g at the after school program, I picked her up and she asked if I could drive her to the hair care place. I said “Sure, where is it?” She said she didn’t know but take the next left.

I’m not super familiar with hair care places in her neighborhood, I only really know of one. Turns out that the one I know is the one she wants. Parking was a little bit tough, I was told by my passenger that my truck is too big.

The walk to the door wasn’t all that long, the street is a major artery, bus route and all, by the door is a bus shelter. The bus shelter is inhabited with an older lady, dressed poorly and she shouts a few things at me and holds her hand out. I assume she has a case of the crazies and walk on.

In the hair care place Little g is looking for hair ties. I think, that’s one of the items that the soldiers posting on ask for, black hair ties.

Little g picks up a couple things and she has me buy gloves for my niece just because the gloves were cute and we leave. I made a U-turn and at the signalized intersection is the crazy lady asking for money from the drivers. I asked Little g “Should, I give her money?” She said “Yeah, a dollar”

Six blocks from her house is a rather large and famous homeless shelter. There is usually a crowd of homeless around, we drive by and there is some yelling and Little g asks me to roll up my window. I tell her we’re alright but she asked again. I roll it up.

One city block later there is a homeless man asking for money. I ask Little g should I give him money, she said “No”. We drove past the guy and I asked her why the crazy lady got a dollar and the homeless man got nothing. She informs me that the homeless usually just buy cigarettes with the money they get. I think to myself “Yeah, I’ve heard that too”. I tell her some people are addicted to cigarettes and sometimes can’t help themselves.

There was some more debate and when we were near her house the conversation ended into silence. The silence was broken when she said now she feels guilty and we should go back and give the homeless man something.

I tell her “Don’t worry that guy will most likely be alright. I was just asking”.

I wouldn’t have given either of them money today, I’m not really certain why but I did buy a couple packs of black hair ties.

Friday, February 04, 2005

I'm no good at pretend

Tracy posts a picture and I do my best to pretend I'm some sort of dork and it works

but then I think of things like this

that's a picture of traffic signal hardware in San Antonio, TX

I have photos like that from Paris, London, Cancun, Jackson Hole WY

I guess I don't have to pretend


Regina likes penguins

tick tock

So, I'm about to live the second office so I go through the ritual of checking Haloscan and find a comment that made me laugh out loud, I mean lol - it's all in the timing.

It was regarding the down the street post

here's the comment

Thanks to everyone who commented - This is one of my favorite posts mainly because of the comments

Thursday, February 03, 2005

you don't need money to give

Lacking money is very seldom ever the real problem when people don’t give

There are other ways to make a change in this world besides with the dollar bill but those things don’t get done either

Ask for volunteers by name and then you’ll probably see money

Talk is cheap - as cheap as the speaker

Walk your talk

bravado n
1. Defiant or swaggering behavior; pretense of courage; a false show of bravery
2. A disposition toward showy defiance or false expressions of courage

I watch for heroes – just like the heroes do TRUE, Radiohumper, the hun

I said to myself

it took you a long time to figure that out

i never done that before

how hard can be?

i don't see everyone doing it, it not all that simple there are things going on that you really cannot see

yeah, but it's a lot like things you have done before

yeah, but that's like saying because I can speak some Spanish that I should also be able to speak some French

i thought you were supposed to be some hotshot

i've never said that

yeah, but you think it sometimes

isn't there someone else you can bother?

no, nobody else puts up with my nonsense


For lunch today I went to the New England Aquarium. It hasn't changed all that much on the inside from when I was a wee lad. They close at five on the weekdays which I think is stupid but I know they are hurting for money, some what, so I'll cut them some slack. But I think they are limiting their clientele.

While I was there they started a penguin show/demonstration and there was this young dude kinda off to the side in with the penguins and he was scrubbing some green junk off of the phoney rocks. Welcome to the big leagues kid. But that’s the kinda of thing I would end up doing just because nobody else would do it but it still needs to get done.

I’m a member, I think I’ll start hanging out there more at least the odor it used to have seems to be under control, maybe it’s worse in the summer.

They have an exhibit that is supposed to be like Boston Harbor and in it there are some flounders. I told my slimey flat friends that “My family used to eat the likes of you.” But it didn’t seem to phase them one little bit.

I have some pictures but I don’t have my camera cable with me. So the pictures will come later. (later came)


Talk radio still drives me crazy and I still won’t just turn it off. I think the hosts have become dumber. There was a time when, even if I didn’t agree with a host, I could still respect him as being intelligent, but nowadays it seems the hosts are just loud and rude.


tomorrow morning I think I'll get up early and just watch the birds

sometimes, I ignore myself - probably not enough

There are times when folks want to talk

There are times when I don’t

I usually screw around wasting time until I'll have to rush out the door. Today I sat at the kitchen table and with a mug of coffee.

The purpose was to think, about what I don't know.

There is my usual chair that I usually sit in when I'm just sitting about but today I used a different chair. My first choice was going to be the same chair I took all those bird shots from, it's the furthest from the window, least likely to frighten the birds from the feeders. As I was making my way, I noticed a house finch at the feeder by the window, looking like he was looking right at me. He didn't seem to care so neither did I. I sat where I was.

I sat down and asked myself "So, what now?"

I ignored the question and watched the birds, most of the regular crowd, the chickadees, sparrows, finches, nuthatches, titmouses. I also noticed the same birds in the trees in the distance, I could now identify them by their behavior. There were maybe thirty birds I could see.

I thought "Maybe I should get the camera" then I thought "Can't you just sit and watch?"

The woodpecker showed up and I thought about the camera again, I don't have a shot of him but I told myself today I'm just watching. So I watched.

I watched and what I saw was a brand new feeder with brand new seed hung from a brand new hook and an assortment of birds I could mostly identify due to my brand new book, all totaled, cash out of hand $111.00.

That amount bothered me, there are other things I can spend my money on, things that will make a difference in human life. What followed next was the familiar debate that arises with the self asked question "What about you?"

"What about you" meaning:

What am I doing?
What's my purpose?
Am I making a difference?
Am I obligated to make a difference?

Good luck watching the birds.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

It's sucks but give it time

So, I pass over what I did she takes it and asks “Do you like it?”

I say “No.”

She asks “Why?”

I say “I dunno. I just don’t really like it.”

This happens a lot. I’ll work on something until I run out of time or ideas and then offer what I have and most likely not like it. It will serve its purpose, and things may be even spelled correctly but I won’t like it, for reasons that will escape me.

I got short notice for some palm cards, I blogged about it somewhere, I did what I could but the ideas just weren’t coming so I threw all the info on the page and fussed with it until it didn’t hurt my eyes. I offered what I had and I was told “This is great!”

I disagreed.

That was over two months ago, I never saw the finished product, never until last night. I was asked to do an ad “For this property” and I was handed the palm card. They printed it on light ivory stock, the feel of what I had done was old time-y, the ivory stock gave it a further old feel.

I waited until I was along in my office before I really looked at the card.

It was good, I sometimes surprise myself.

if I did...

if I did gamble and if the gambling was in the form of football squares, I have a hunch that my numbers would be 4 for the AFC and 3 for the NFC which would probably be the best numbers I would have been given in all the years I would have been gambling

if I gambled

death toll

so far five mice have met their death (this current go round)

is it death or deaths or either or?

when i was asked to address the problem i estimated the number of mice to be at five and if i had posted that number i would have looked like some sort of mousing genius

there still could be more

i’ll keep you posted


I fit this search third grade word jumbles

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

east - west

so, i go into the second job earlier than usual and as is usually the case i get bombarded with questions and requests

then the owner gives me a list of web updates she would like done and i'm all 'what the heck is this? work?'

then i remember that it is and that those web updates should have been done prior to now

so, now i work (there really isn't too much but i'll pretend that there is)

"i'll be there in a minute. i'm kinda swamped right now"

this post is basically for the west coasters who, at the time of this post, are still working out on the west coast while i'm just working for fun on the east coast


Have you ever started a comment on someone's post and figured this is getting way too long and way too much about me to stay as a comment on someone else's post?

I’m fiscally conservative, religiously Christian, I won’t say skullf*ck Bush, in face to face conversations I rarely use profanities, I doubt my own worth as a blogger. I had questions whether or not I could or should write for a site that seemed to have fundamental differences with some of what I personally believe.

The reason I do participate, or at least try to, is because I read most of the contributors’ personal blogs, I’ve commented or emailed, or received such, from almost everyone I read, I’ve found that they will give you a fair shake, they will hear you out, they are open to discussion, and despite personal differences they are inclusive. We all want a change.

A few folks have figured out that I’m a Christian and they still talk to me anyway.

I think the religious crowd catches a lot of heat, and most of the heat they deserve.

I have a lot of problems with religion, myself, but it’s mainly with the business of religion. Too many people get hung on specifics when the general message is usually based on love. And, what’s good about things based on love is that they work universally, no matter what you do or do not believe.

Get the general message working and then work of the specifics, is what I think.

In general, there is too much hate, too much judgment, too much unwillingness to listen.

Occasionally, there comes a corner where people can reach a common ground for change, a common ground for caring, regardless of specific individual beliefs.

Always open for discussion – Bring the Beef


I removed the labels from the bottom of the shot glasses and gave them a good washing.

The labels came of easy after they were dabbed with “Brush Cleaner,” rubbed off and then washed with regular dish detergent and hot water. Brush Cleaner is a volatile mixture of chemicals used to restore/clean paintbrushes which have had paint dry on them. I’m always careful to properly wash out my brushes but sometimes the Brush Cleaner comes in handy, especially if you let other folks use your paint brushes. I keep a can under the kitchen sink because it’s also good for removing labels from shot glasses.

Labels that aren’t removed properly are another of my pet peeves.


Holding a now pristine brand new shot glass, it seemed a waste just to put them away, so I decided that a shot might be in order. At first I thought whiskey – Jack Daniels to be exact, but then I remembered I have Jim Beam in the frig, then I thought about Glenlivet, then Sambuca, then Vodka, then back to the 12 year old single malt scotch – Glenlivet.

I poured half a glass or at least tried for half a glass, I poured a little more than half a glass. I held it and tried to remember if I ever did a shot of scotch or any other type of whiskey, I couldn’t remember, mixed shots and varies combinations of straight vodka came to mind, as far as I knew this would be a first, I thought.

It burned a bit, I usually sip my scotch on the rocks, I was expecting more heat. I thought about another shot but I reasoned that I wasn’t drinking for effect, I was just trying out the shot glass and it worked just fine.