Sunday, December 27, 2009

Sometimes it is for real and sometimes it for pretend

I'm an asshole sometimes.

Sometimes I think it's funny; like "Oh, my gosh. I can't believe you just said that."

Sometimes I think I'm sending a message; like fuck with me and I'll fuck with you.

Other times I'm just an asshole; sometimes to just prove that I can be one.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

One of my problems is...

I try to lead by example. I try to do good things. I try to step-up when everyone else seems too scared or uncaring to do so. I try to get the message across that someone has got to do something because things don't just happen all by themselves.

At the last local labor union meeting we had our annual elections and for much as our local elections go we were doing pretty good; we had at least one name for each office that needed to be filled; all but vice president.

I liked the current president. I think he tries to do what he thinks is best and nowadays, local labor union really don't have much clout so there is only so much he can do. It's a thankless job but he does it. So, when the discussion was on its second trip around the sparsely filled room as to who might want to be on the ballot for vice president, I said that they could put my name on it, even though I was only really there because I was giving a couple guys a ride and our local union was having the annual turkey raffle. I think in the olden days people would actually be handed a turkey but in the more modern era, or ever since I've been a member, what you get is a fifty dollar check.

And it so happened that I won one of the "turkeys." And because my name was the only one of the ballot for vice president I won that too.

About three weeks later a fellow union member visited me in my cube. He often visits. He's a friend and as all good friends do, he likes giving me "good news."

He started the conversation with a question.

"Did you hear about Glenn?" (Glenn's the union president)


"Well, the good news is that Glenn most likely will be getting a promotion."

"That's great. He's a good guy."

"And that promotion will take him out our local union," he continued and then paused

I was going to say "Fuck" but instead I sat quiet.

"And that means that whoever was just recently elected vice president will become president." He ended his statement with a big grin.

He then added "Mr. President."

Monday, December 21, 2009

If you have a television set then...

If you have a television set then you probably already know that it has snowed in the East.

Or if you have a TV and don't watch it here's a photo.

It's not a good photograph but I know a lot of my fans like to see snow and you at least can see snow in the picture. (a lot percentage-wise)

Anyway, as the snow storm was winding down a female cardinal perched herself onto the bracket of a bird feeder that I haven't filled for over a year and a half as she looked at the empty bird feeder by my window that I haven't filled since Spring.

I sort of stopped filling the bird feeder because the bird seed that I get always seems to come with weevils or some other sort of bug in it and these bugs like to get into my dry pasta and flour if left unchecked so I stopped buying bird seed.

She flew away and a male cardinal perched on the feeder by the window as a sparrow was waiting on some tall weeds poking through the deep snow. I felt guilty. I felt I was letting these little fellows down, they knew that sometimes there is food in these feeders and now, in a time of need, there was none. But the snow was deep and the roadways were treacherous what was I expected to do?

So, I flipped the little birds off and told them to go screw themselves.

That's not actually true. The snow was deep and the roadways were a little bit troublesome but I was able to get around just fine and I did have to pick up some paperwork so on the way back I picked up some bird seed and I filled the feeder by the window before the sun came up the next day and as I was typing this post, the cardinals flew by but they didn't stop at the feeder so I flipped them off and told them to go screw themselves.

Friday, December 18, 2009

She was rather unconvinced

I'm sitting at my kitchen table waiting for some updates to download so that I can do a year's worth of updates to the 'books.' I've been putting off the updates because someone had started doing things that make my job of keeping the books in order that much harder. And there was a very good chance that I wasn't going to make it to the year's end.

I'm sitting at my kitchen table, listening to my old video iPod shuffling all my songs, while I'm drinking a cappuccino.

My six year old niece likes pepperoni so I was slicing her off some pieces; cutting on the diagonal because I've heard that you get a better flavor.

My six year old niece is a rather particular eater.

My six year old niece upon eating her second piece, asked if it was the same type as we usually get. I told her that it was different. She said, "I like the spiciness but I don't think it tastes as good as the other stuff."

I told her that it was different because the supermarket didn't have the kind I wanted. She said that when her mother can't get the regular stuff that she won't get anything.

I said, "But what if this stuff was better? Wouldn't it be good to try new things? How do you know unless you try?" She replied with a non-verbal dismissive reply.

(the download is at 81% and John Haitt is singing Perfectly Good Guitar)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Tomorrow I work

Not that I haven't been working. It's just that I haven't been getting paid for the work I've been doing and as a matter of fact: it's been costing me to do it.


I tend to look out the kitchen window while I'm making coffee.


I'm always bothered a little when people park in front of my house. I shouldn't be because it is a city street and it is across from a park and the park side of the street has a no parking regulation but still I don't like folks parking there.

There are a lot of things in the basement that don't need to be there anymore, like 60 feet of steel pipe that used to be used for heat and probably 75 feet of old electric cable and a lot of copper pipe that was run from the front of the house and then to the back then to the front.

I would rather unscrew the old heating pipes then to cut them down but rusty heat pipes don't like to budge much. I've crushed a few pipes that would not turn.

There is noticeably more head room in parts of the basement now. I was happy for about half a day.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I'm branching out in bake sales

but this story has nothing to do with bake sales.

I pushed on the wall by the crack and the top part moved. It moved a lot. A lot for a crack. So, I tried all my tricks but even the trickiest trick didn't work so I cut a hole 18 inches wide and 24 inches long.

I was working in the living room and ever since I had bought the house there has been no light switch by the door; you would have to take about four steps to find the switch, which is about three steps away from being approved by the building code. The newly made hole was where the switch should be.

I guess you could call it a blessing in disguise if blessings were needy sons of bitches.

Anyway, I put a switch in but switches are pretty much good for nothing unless they turn something on and off; so I installed another outlet and hooked the bottom half to to the switch.

It needed to be done but I just wish that more things could be done without having to do numerous other things.

And I'm getting tired of having to shove my meaty hands through rectangular holes two inched wide by three and a half inches tall.

It is on the list

She asked me if getting a haircut was on my to-do list. I replied that some women like my hair longer. She said, "Not the classy ones."

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I thought I big run on sentence would be humorous

I was in the basement for most of the day because I want to get things organized in the rest of the house and some of the things in the rest of the house need to be put in the basement and to put things in the basement, I need to organize it, and to organize it, I needed to put up some more shelves and the shelves can really only go in one spot and there was no light in that spot so I had to run some wires to install an outlet and I figured if I'm putting lights in that spot then I might as well put some lights in the other dark places of the basement and while I was figuring out how to run the electric to three spots in the basement I saw this one piece of cable that I never liked.

I never liked that cable because it was old and brittle which made it sort of dangerous so I figured that I would just replace the whole cable from where it connected near the circuit breaker box to where it branched off in the round electrical box, located near the back of the house. It wasn't part of my plan but I feel better for doing it and there is probably less of a chance that the house will burn to the ground now.

One thing always leads to yet another thing and usually you end up going in the opposite direction you want and you only reach your originally desired destination once you've circumnavigated the globe.

I seemed to keep on getting metal splinters even though I can recall only actually pulling out three of them.

I used my special cobweb broom a lot. It's not really special special, it's just that I use it especially for removing cobwebs. I think it came with the house and it sucked as a broom broom so I use it as a cobweb broom.

The lights went up fine except for the last one, which was also the only one that I actually wanted up at that time. The fixture didn't work, so I swapped it out with one of the previously installed lights and I'll have to return the non-working one to Home Depot.

So, screw you Home Depot. You have let me down again. I should just constantly go to Lowes even though they are miles and miles away.

Anyway, the lights are up were I need them for the shelves and most of the shelves are up. And when all the lights are on down there, it is almost a bright as day. I actually lost tract of time because the darkness from the windows couldn't creep in.

Anyway, when running electric lines in new construction it's best to run it out and away from the breaker box but in old construction it's best to run it back and towards the breaker box, that way you only have to cut off the electricity at the very last moment when you're going to hook it up to the circuit breaker box.

Tomorrow, I should finish with the shelves and with a little luck I'll be able to get all my tools and supplies from various parts of all three floors down into the basement.