Monday, December 31, 2007

The receipt was for thirty eight, over three twenties were left.

I dropped by to catch up only I was alone so I was chatting up one of the other regulars. The bartender wasn’t who I thought it would be, I later learned that they switched shifts. She knows me but not my daytime friends so much, so she carded them all.

Bottle of beers were ordered but we were only charged at the draft beer price. There are some benefits being know as a friend of Tim’s. I think we tipped her 150%.


So, I guess I’ve run out of things to say. Most likely though, I have just stopped doing things.

I’ve been making my way through some book on Adobe Flash and through some novel I had started eight months ago.

I set up a wireless printer so at least there are two reasons for having that wireless router.

The sparrows are chasing the other smaller birds away, the chickadees and such. When the feeder has feed, there are approximately fifty sparrows that hang around. I wish for other birds and then I question how I value life. Are the prettier, less common birds of more value? The markings on a sparrow are quite nice, a perfect match of shades of brown but I’ve become jaded to their simple beauty.

So, I have a laptop that hooks up to the internet through a wireless connection. I have the latest programs from Adobe and Corel. I have a printer. I can sit at my kitchen table and do whatever I want computer-wise; design-wise. I remember wanting all those things when I didn’t have them. Now that I have them, they mostly just sit, mocking me.

He Does Contempt Very Well

I shaved

This is what it looks like when I shave - Photo Hosted at Buzznet

Wednesday, December 26, 2007



from the 20th


I've got nothing. I'm a pathetic loser with nothing going on and I just want to disappear.

That's actually not true despite that my routine posts do not belie that statement.

Losers don't use words like belie.

Or gainsay.

I've degraded, or so I think. The trouble is: I think that I can always turn it back on. Whatever 'it' was.


I was assaulted with holy water today. She came by saying that she was continuing her tradition and wiped her whetted fingers over my forehead, without even asking.

That is not proper. Nor is it Christian. And I don't consider it a blessing. That water is no holier than the stuff that shoots out of my water through the door refrigerator, if I were to pray over that.

so from the 17th

So, the plan was to help out an elderly neighbor a few doors up from me; I was merely going to run the snowthrower over her sidewalk. The first hiccup in the plan was a known problem and that problem was that she lives six houses up from me. I had enough time and I had enough gasoline so I ran the machine from my house to hers. When I got to her house, her neighbor was shoveling him sidewalk, so I did his and then I crossed the street to help out a guy I wave to once in awhile when he's walking his dogs. While I was helping out that guy, someone asked if I would do the driveway for an elder lady in the next house over.

The snow had changed to rain by the time I had crossed to the other side of the street and I was soaked through in a lot of places. I really just wanted to get back home. I wasn't too joyful doing the old lady's drive. She called to me from her window to thank me and I said "No" when she asked if she could pay me. When I was just about done, she came out and shoved something in my gloved hand. I refused again but she insisted and I shoved whatever it was in pocket.

When I got back home I had done fourteen houses and three driveways. The dog walker guy gave me some gasoline and what that elder lady ended up giving me was a fifty dollar bill.


I really don't want to be in work today.


It's dying now; the arrangement of plants that someone had sent him. It must have cost a bit of dough. I watered it while he was out; but now he's back. He can water his own damn plant.


"Was it a cold walk in?" He asked from his desk as I walked by.

"Yeah, a little bit."

"I was going to give you a ride in but I was falling asleep at the wheel. I've been working all night."

Unfortunately, he doesn't know how much of an asshole that same exchange makes him appear.


He complains if you do and he complains if you don't.


"If it's not at the end of your elbows, you do not give a shit."

also from the 17th

I check them every once in awhile, the blogs that have gone silent.

Often there is just that same last post but sometimes, there is something new.


I was in one of those arguments that happen inside of my head, sort of like practice for the real thing, which usually never comes. I remember responding "How could you embarrass me like that?" which is an out of character reply. I then stopped the phony discussion and thought about embarrassment and how it is totally up to the individual on whether or not they will be embarrassed.

So from the 13th

Verizon from Boston, that's me sometimes. I hit up sites from other ip's too, but last night I was Verizon from Boston.

I installed the wireless router so I could access the net using my laptop. I have business reasons for waiting internet access but recreation reasons would be utilized as well.

It was hooked up after I dealt with the ten or more inches of snow and I didn't have all my FTP info with me so my business reasons couldn't be realized so I went to my MySpace account where I had a comment waiting for me. It was from a 'friend' so I click the link that said "check out the awesome pictures of all the hot chicks I saw at this great party I was at," or some such bullshit that didn't sound anything like the guy.

Once I click, I was greeted with a message that said "you need to be logged in to do that" so I logged in, even though I had already thought I was logged in. I figured the router and me not using the 'remember password' feature were to blame but every time I hit the link I got that same message. I quit after three tries.

So, this morning I was lying in bed recounting the previous day when I realized I had most likely had just fallen for one of the classic password obtaining scams; the dummy login page. So, I pulled my laptop from it case, put the battery in it and logged on to the internet using my wireless connection and changed my passwords.

And then I looked for porn.

That is actually not true. I checked my email accounts and then looked for porn.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

So, it’s not quite the utopia I thought it would be.

And now I have a horizontal white line running across my screen.

It took a hour and a half to get all that snow out of my drive and off of the sidewalk and I was using a 22" snow thrower. I used to shovel that stuff by hand.

Well, a hand with a shovel. O.K. maybe it was two hands.

That's too much drive to shovel.

Dude, honestly, I'm not just talking out of my ass

So, I asked him why he wanted to know, and my supervisor told me that so-n-so asked for it. I then said if that's the case then so-n-so should ask through the proper channels and "That guy," I said pointing to the boss's office should answer it. "No, you're right," was the reply he gave but then he went and dug out the information.

So, later when the boss walked by, my supervisor brought up so-n-so's request and the boss said "Then so-n-so, should be making a proper request in writing and then we can ask that guy there (pointing to the big boss's office) what he wants us to say."

I love saying "I told you so," even when I do actually say it.

So, back again

A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Ever read those quotes and wonder if that person ever really said that?


Everyday is a new beginning, so is every afternoon and every evening.

I used to carry stamps around in my wallet. I used to use one stamp once a month to mail in my car insurance. So I, myself, had no real pressing stamp needing issues but I took to carrying stamps because people seemed to always ask if I had one. I would feel bad when I had to say "No" so I started carrying stamps.

After the cost of postage went up, I took it as an opportunity to stop carrying stamps. I figured it's not my responsibility to be a convenient seller of stamps to all comers. I figured people can get their own stamps.

I'm trying to worry more about me. I sometimes worry that I'm an enabler.

People don't need to worry about certain things because I'm worrying about them for them. I need to let folks worry about their own worries.


I threw away his hastily construed note. Later, he came by my cube and I half hoped that he could see his note in my trash bin. He was there to let me know that he had answered his own question. I knew he could.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

So, something to lose your head over

I've read this is good stuff but I read that on the internet

I read my old posts only rarely but when I do I wonder what went wrong.

I'm pretty sure I could solve my own problems by exerting a little bit of effort. Maybe I'm a masochist.


I had noticed something stuck in one of the holes to the bird feeder and wondered what some smart assed squirrel had shoved in there but had done nothing of it until yesterday. I slid open the window and noticed that the mystery was feathered as I pinched the littlest potion of it to pull it out. I dropped it immediately and shivered a bit as I tried to erase the vision of a severed bird head between my fingers.

This bird feeder is of the type to prevent squirrels from feeding from it. It's has thin metal in the shape of leaves that slide over the holes whenever something heavy hangs on it. I guess the bird didn't see the squirrel coming and was guillotined.

I was surprised at my level of remorse. I put the feeder up to help the birds out, not to thin out the herd.

So, like a sucker

So, I had this coupon for 25% off almost any book and I bought a book that had nothing but webpages in it, no critiques, no instructions. It was wrapped in plastic before I bought it. Webpages are free on the internet.

A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

So Many People In My Space

So, I have less confidence that the lilies and those two other plants will survive the winter. I planted those after work yesterday right before I went to work.

I'm good with a shovel.

I wanted all the botanicals in the ground before it good really cold. We've been having a rather mild time of things here; it hasn't dropped below freezing too many times but according to the Weather Channel: things were going to change so it was either get those things in the ground or keep them in the house all winter.

I wouldn't mind digging ditches all day long. It would keep me in shape and it is not very mentally taxing. I could be thinking about other things while digging. I could have ladies on lunchtime lusting after my toned sweaty body while I'm composing sonnets in my head.

But ditch digging would not afford me the high life style I am accustomed to.


She leaned in like she usually does to kiss me goodbye. She usually aims for the cheek but this time she did a quick little move to the right and planted a slightly moist one right on my kisser. I felt I should feel possibly violated but it was just a kiss and once she was passed the windows I wiped her kiss onto my sleeve.


So, I was in the painkillers isle holding a bottle of Bayer. I was looking at the Tylenol PM when someone joined me in the isle. I think his boyfriend was at the pharmacy counter. It's a 24hr CVS; I'll often swing by on the way home from the second job and I've never noticed a normal crowd there after 10PM.

He was standing closer to me than I liked. I felt like he was trying to bump me out of his way by violating my personal space. I held my ground as a furrowed my brow a bit. I was working out a grand decision. I don't like the thought of sleep aids but the advertisers keep telling me that there is more harm.

My sleeping problems are created by myself. I don't make time to sleep. I make time to watch the History Channel all night knowing that eventually I'll doze off. I don't know why I don't just shut the damn things off.


I did a redesign on the front page of the website and then the morning after I realized that I forgot to put that script in for tracking visits.

So Evergreen

So, maybe it's half done. It took me longer on Saturday and Sunday than I had hoped. Saturday I produced a design that would work and that I wouldn't be ashamed to put my name on for one section of the site and then on Sunday I updated all the pages in that section and then fixed all the hiccups I found.

There are four other pages I have to do but they should be easier, so I'll take longer with them and then throw some crap up because that's what I do when things are easy.


I set up her tree for her just like I have done for the past twelve years or so. It could be more. She asked me to follow her to the kitchen because there was something she wanted to show me. She sat in front of her laptop which had the first run of the new design on it's screen. She didn't say anything at first. I leaned in to see the small type which wasn't legible four or five feet away from the screen. I was worried I would have to increase the font size which would possibly force a design change but as I leaned in to about three and a half feet, I could read every word. I think she wanted to ask for a larger size type and if she had asked I was going to protest.

She said that it looked good and that it would work. I agreed with a "Yeah." I wanted it better but it's okay for now.

After I finished with the tree, I walked back to the real estate office. The little space heater I left running was managing to keep a chill out of the air but couldn't manage to get my space warm. I felt my feet get cold, while I changed the font size to one pixel larger.

The forced hot air system really needs to get fixed.

So long ago

I think it's still there: the writing ability. I started to type the righting ability; I think that is still there too.

Part of me just wants to roll over and die, that want has always been there but I dislike quitters. I dislike quitting. Sometimes, it's a fault. It is advantageous to know when to cut your loses, at times.

I like to try all my options, that is, when I am trying.

I need to stop walking by things. I need to stop putting off things until tomorrow. I need to start changing the things I can.

I need to learn to say "No." Once you start, there is no stopping, not if you're me anyway; that's probably why I don't like starting things. Everything is a long haul, if you're me anyway.

I want to see how far that upper limit is or at least take another step passed that last furthest step. I have that scheduled for tomorrow.

Lunch Time

Thursday, November 29, 2007

So, shoveled

So, I hated my decision which was to go home, plant a tree, go to the second job and then rush home before it was too late to cook that pork that is sitting in the frig.

So, I got home.
So, I got the shovel from the area in the basement where I keep some of the gardening stuff.
So, I planted the tree. It took about thirty eight minutes, the whole project, from turning my key in the lock on my door to leaving the shovel in my dining room that's under renovation. I thought thirty eight minutes was good.

So, then I grabbed my truck key and went to the second job. The plan for there was to upload a little text file to the root directory of the web page so that some company could be assured that we own the web site.

So, things then started to run not smoothly. The email I had didn't have an attachment like it claimed to have. So, I walked downstairs to the owner's office to see the original email which also had no attachment.

So, I posted something and told the owner blah, blah, blah when I got another email asking about custom calendar magnets.

I'm on a schedule here people!

The web site for custom calendar magnets was all rather vague and didn't contain the info I needed so I had to send off an email.

So, it was quarter past seven when I closed my computer down which was too late for cooking pork.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I hadn't been filling my bird feeders for quite some time partly because I felt natural bird food was plentiful but mostly because I'm lazy but I filled them to overflowing on Sunday after I noticed a titmouse pecking at the empty holes and I felt I had been losing out on watching my little feathered neighbors.
I was walking across the marketplace when I noticed she changed her direction so we would meet. I didn't know if she did purposefully or not so I changed my angle slightly. She matched that one too.

"She a beggar," crossed my mind as I continued to walk straight and when I was close enough she started with her story about how she needed money for the train. There is always that instant moment when I want to explain that I'm not buying their story; that I know there is no train to catch but I never do. I figure: what's the point?

I had just settled my bar bill so I knew about how much I had in my pocket, it was more than I usually give. I was straightening the few bills I pulled from my pocket as she continued with her story. I have a habit of unfolding all the corners and lining up the bills so they are all facing the same way. After I finished with the bills in my hand I reached for what was left and arranged them to the others.

I was watching the space just to the left of her. She was watching the money. It was close to thirty eight bucks; it was all the paper money I had. Her story wasn't anything I haven't heard a dozen of times before; and she didn't look particularly needy but I just handed it to her anyway. I think she thanked me. I don't really know I was too busy walking away.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


It's looks like I've run out of things to say.

I cooked that turkey three days after Thanksgiving. I was thankful for that.

I'm a bit weary.

I dream at counter top height.

My niece told one our her aunts "You're the king of Timmy," so I guess that makes her a king maker. I didn't know she had that authority. My sister's reign was short, however.

I see photos but I keep my camera hid.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

So, Like an Ulcer

So, sometimes I worry that I'm stealing unrat's thing with all the 'so's' he has in his sidebar even though I've used 'so' a lot, even though in my flesh and blood life I'll start the telling of a story with "So."

I do that with the blog too; but usually I just don't type it out. There was a post about my use of 'so.' I can trace it back, here on this blog for years and even further in my memory but still...

It's like when Tom Petty was telling a story about when Johnny Cash sang "I Won't Back Down," Petty said "After I heard John sing it, I wish I had never done it. He just sang it with so much conviction."

I worry only just a little because I don't think he really cares if I say "So" or not.


There are those who use 'so' better than I but it is what it is. At least here anyway.

It's the day before Thanksgiving. I hope I won't die of boredom.

I don't get riled up too much; there is a part of me that I let blow off steam but it's all internal. I'll ask that part of me "Are you done now?" after the dust settles. And then I go about my business.

So, I just remembered why I started typing earlier, it was to say that sometimes I don't read certain blogs because the author writes too real. Sometimes, it's just too much of an emotional trip than I want to take at the moment.


There are times that I think I'm a sucker for staying, that my effort is unrequited, that my caring goes unmatched.

It was an odd reaction, being relieved to hear she is having some stress related heath problems. I feel I've been dying slowly for over a year, I was glad to hear that I wasn't alone. Misery loves company, I guess.

I was relieved but I also realized that I should stop being a prick, even if I can somehow justify it.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

thankful of shit

So, one thing I'm not thankful for is that the ads were do a day earlier. I did my part but others didn't do theirs so I got to do ads two days in a row.

"She says "Thanks""

I say "Fuck her" but I say it to myself. Don't have the receptionist second hand me one of your messages; pick up the phone your damn self.

Outward though, there is just a sly smile. For me anger is often mean creative energy that I let explode in controlled areas, usually in my the thinking area of my head. Then I move on, after I make a note.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

So, angry

So, I have to admit...

That's how I was going to start this post but then I got to thinking that I don't really have to it's just that I will admit to it.

So, I was bothered by the first check, it was for a bonus basically, the second check was one the owner had handwritten and was for an advance, the third check was for four grand and I wanted to be angry with that one too but it was written to a person who hasn't seen a check in awhile and I could relate to that.

I thought about the fourteen checks sitting in my drawer. I wanted to gather them up, shove them in an envelope with a note asking "What about these?"

I'm told I'm appreciated but I would rather see it. I'm starting to need to see it.

I'm at odds with my own morals.

I kept the checks in my drawer after I asked myself if even all those checks could be made good would that money make me happy. Money doesn't make me happy; it just gets rid of some worries and at the moment I've got a handle on my worries.

I was disappointed with myself; and I still am.

Another thing that bothers me that I'll do what I think is right but I'll be angry about it.

I first saw the following link on Melissa's site and then I saw it on a site of a local blogger. I don't list local bloggers on my site because I think I remain more secret that way.

I think my highest score what a thirty six which was a disappointment to me. But then I would mostly guess wrong when it came to guessing because I wasn't going with my gut.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

So, I forgot I had a photo

So like spam

o, I tended to my vibrating pants. It was an agent asking me if the owner had spoken to me about a bonus for a thousand dollars. Previously, she submitted a file and stated that the owner agreed to give her a bonus; when I questioned the owner about she said that the agent misunderstood and that she was only entitled to the bonus if the property had sold at a higher price.

I then questioned on whether or not I should talk to the agent before I deducted for an advance she received, according to the agent's instructions. The owner said that I didn't have to, so I didn't.

The point is: it was a rather involved conversation the owner and I had and now it appeared that the owner was changing her mind.

I told the agent that nothing was mentioned to me. I then wondered when I'm going to be just brought up to date with my own pay never mind any bonuses.

Don't work for friends unless you're a fan of heartache, I guess is my tale of woe.


I sent myself an email and it went to spam.

I'll show you the way

So, I got a call from the front desk and she said with some surprise that Sgt Smith was asking for me and she wanted to know what to do. I told her that I would be right out.

I hadn't seen the Sergeant in quite some time; not since his promotion. He was looking for something, he personally didn't know what it was other than what it was called and that my Department should have it.

What he needed wasn't in my realm of responsibility but he correctly assumed I knew where to get. He thought it better to just find me then to try and call around.

So... I forgot

So, he seems to have the worst memory. If my mom every gets Alzheimer's I shipping her off to a home.

That's not true but my patience would definitely be tried though; I have a hard time recognizing that you can remember something one time and then forget it the next.

So obsolete

So, it's probably the worst plan I have had to deal with; I'm not certain anything is accurate and it's too dangerous to get lots of measurements out in the field. Or maybe I'm being a baby in not wanting to measure four lanes of high speed traffic.


Dude take the crap out of you're mouth when you're speaking. Or is your tongue just too big from your vile mouth?


I love it when folks ask you for directions and then they start to argue with what you say.


I have to use three vacation days before the end of the year; I thought I was using more vacation days than last year because I had less than two week's worth left but two week's worth of vacation days is ten not fourteen. I can only carry ten days into the shiny new year.

Personal time; I've used a day and a half which leaves two and a half days which will disappear December 31st.


So, he's been back an hour and a half and he is already worrying about things he should worry about. He thinks things are more difficult and more important then things really are.

"Did you meet with the guy?" he asked.

"No, I talked to him on the phone."

My paperwork wasn't consistent with what he had told me the guy wanted but then I rarely trust what he says because he doesn't know how to listen. My paperwork was very consistent with what the guy requested.

"Things are running fine without you," I want to say but I believe that is what he is worried about.

So, as I typed in all the streets...

So, as I typed in all the streets to my former neighborhood, I couldn't place half of them, but the problem wasn't with me, the problem was with the list I was using.

The list was on the back of some horrible looking map that someone in the real estate office decided to put the company's name on and pass out to clients.

The list had streets that didn't exist in addition to a boat load of typographical errors as well as omissions. I couldn't understand how anybody even vaguely associated with any business that touches what is known as marketing would have anything to do with this horrible map.

Stuff like that riles up my blood.


I told her that I would be by on Sunday during the Open House to take some pictures because the ones she provided had the same value as dog droppings.

I walked in and sighed a bit; there was a layer of dust seemingly everywhere and rosin paper covered the hardwood floors. I asked myself "Doesn't anybody know anything about marketing?" When I got to the kitchen, things were no better, the panel for the electrical box was leaning against the wall beneath the rectangular recessed box of exposed wires and the protective plastic was still on most of the appliances.

There wasn't anything I could do about the dust but I help her remove the plastic from the appliances and think I got a decent shot or two; the lighting could have been better. I think I'm going to get a shoe flash.

Blah. blah, blah. Then the next day I mowed the lawn and cooked teriyaki marinated chicken breast.

Oh, and I rearranged the shed so that the snow blower is right in front of the door; for easy access you know.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Thursday, November 08, 2007

They weren't planting this


I think this was going to be longer or maybe even have a point but..

So, I forgot to upload that post but if you're reading this then it's probably below this one.

Everyday this week, so far (I'm writing this on Thursday). I haven't done that in a while. I would like to say what a difference a day makes but it's more like the difference a dollar makes.

I still am not seeing many dollars but at least our vendors are. I was worried the ad wouldn't run because someone was dropping the ball.

I thanked her when she mentioned that the check was sent out. I kept quiet after she said "No, thank you for getting me to do it."

I still get calls from others because I can still get results. I hate hounding folks but certain things need to be done.

Silence sometimes is white hot gold

So, that's the type of shit that drives me bonkers.

Bonkers wasn't my first choice of words but when it popped into my head as a synonym how could I not use it.

"That's bonkers!"

"That's crazy bonkers!" - I think I'm going to use that all the time.

So, anyway...

I was there late and this time it wasn't because I was downloading porn but I was actually busy making print ads. I hadn't done a print ad for months and months and when I got a phone call from the publisher of the paper, he seemed actually pleased that I had emailed over the PDF's.

"It's been awhile."

"Yeah. Well, you know I put the date in the file name and the last one was in June."

"Yeah, I was going to say that long ago since Summer."

"You know it may have been even longer because that's when I last wrote the ad, the last time it ran was a few weeks before that, so maybe since May."

I knew why he was calling; the company still owes money. He's a good man so I brought the issue up for him.

"*The Owner* said she was going to call you, I'll betting she hasn't yet."

"Nope, not yet."

"When do you need a check by?"

"To run an ad in this Saturday's paper, I would need a check in my hand by four o'clock today."

"Okay, I'll let her know. How much is it?"

He told me the amount eleven and a half thousand or so, and then I asked him to have someone check the files that I had sent over because I had upgraded to Adobe Acrobat 8 and I was certain it changed some of my presets.

I called the owner after I hung up with him and left her a voice mail with all the particulars. I received no word from her by noon thirty so...

(I just made noon thirty up, I was trying to trick you into thinking that some folks actually say noon thirty)

...I called the office and left a message for her to call me. And when I got no calls from her by one thirty I called again. I finally reached her by two forty five.

"Hey, did you get my message from this morning?"

"I did."

"Yeah, it's just that he said he needs a check today." I paused to give her a chance to say something but she said nothing. "By four."

"How much was does he need?"

"It was eleven thousand five hundred and something something."


"He said he has a courier that he uses and he'll give you the info if you call."


I wanted to say something like "What the holy fuck have you been waiting for?" but it isn't my company so I just said "Alright, bye"

If it were a block and a half, I wouldn't have voted

"Turnout at polls lowest in decades"

I exited the subway station and turned right, just as always, and started to plan out the rest of my day. Going to vote was at the top of the list. My voting place is a block away from the station, but it was a block to the left. I thought about walking home and then stopping as I was going to be driving past on my way to the second job but that hit me as ridiculous.

I crossed the street and heading in the opposite direction, there were only a few people to hound me as I made my way into the polling place; I knew two of them by name. I filled three ellipses with my black marker with the fine tip and then walked it over to the cop reading a paperback.

After I told him my address and name, he checked me off and added another hash mark to the bottom of that page which doubled the amount of hash marks.

People get the government they deserve.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Forget Your Letter of Salvation

So, I pick up the phone and the dude starts the conversation by saying that I'm the third person that he has spoken to in about one minute's time.

I think that he's making pretty good progress. He states that there is a very dangerous situation and that if something isn't done there will be a tragedy. I tell the gentleman that we need a letter. I tell him this because all requests of this nature require something in writing.

"You mean I have to write a letter?"

In my head, I get ready the list of reasons why we need a letter before I say "Yes."


How important is the issue to you if you won't jot down a sentence and put a stamp on it?

Mostly, I'm a squanderer

So, the thing of it is is that it's an escape.

The more that the things that I try to put off...

Do you ever think you hear voices coming from your computer speakers when there shouldn't be making any noise? I wish I could hear what those voices are saying. Or so I think.

Things in my life request my attention. Usually, I'll put off those requests until no longer can they be put off.

First job, second job, Lady G, my house, personal development, are all to a point where things can't be put off.

Make or break.

Sometimes I just want to break, or so I think.

Things are cutting into my bar time. Things are cutting into my blogging time.

There are times that I wish I were a hermit, or so I think.

It's not the booze, it's the bar. Now that most of my favorites are gone, I'm not there much. Back to the day life I guess.

Mostly, I'm a squanderer.

Jess has notable taste in music

The day after he heard is when he told me that she quit. I was a little surprised; she seemed like the type that would give some sort of notice, so I figured something out of the ordinary happened.

It was still just hearsay until I went in on what was usually her day shift and the manager was pouring beers. Later that day I sent her a message on Myspace: I told her that I thought she deserved more peace in her life.

She didn't say much in her reply as to why she left, other than she had a bad couple of days. Working in a dive bar while trying to finish college is reason enough to quit but I'm pretty sure something else came up.

She said she might see me later this week. I'll miss her even though she was a Yankee's fan.


She approached after I tossed the two CD's into a slot for DVD's as I counted my cash. I was certain I was going to be chastised for putting them as I saw her pointing them and I readied my defense.

"That's a great CD."

I looked up, surprised.

"That Gus Gus is a great CD. Not that you asked."

I just smiled. I went to get a Tom Petty CD and it was only ten bucks so I figured I would get another CD and noticed Forever by Gus Gus also for ten bucks. I only know about Gus Gus because Jess made one of their songs available.

I only about Jess because of Radio Humper

I only know about Radio Humper because of TRUE

I only know about TRUE because of Angelina

I only know about Angelina because I'm a smartass at times and followed a link from a link from a link. And all those unnamed folks have been forgotten.


"We're twenty shy of five hundred for the bake sale."

Sunday, November 04, 2007

I was asked for the recipe

They are called p i z z a wheels.

She asked if I was going to bake anything and when I said "I don't know," she said "I know you don't bake." She said it like she has heard that excuse from everybody else. There are few things worse than having to bake for a bake sale and one of this is having to organize a bake sale.

"No. It's just that I have to work Thursday night and then you have to bring your stuff with you in on the train."

"Right, you do bake. You're good at it too."

"I'll try but I'm not going to promise."

She left seemly heavy hearted but not just because of me, so Friday morning I showed up with some stuff.

you roll stuff up inside a sheet of puff pastry.

and then you cut the roll into round

and then you bake them for about twenty minutes.

and then you bake mini blueberry muffins just in case your p i z z a wheels don't hit it off.

The muffins were from a box but I used half and half instead of milk and melted butter instead of vegetable oil. I did use eggs for the eggs, though.

Freaking bake sale.

The sale lasted only two hours; my stuff didn't sell out like it did last time but then neither did anybody else's. The leftovers where relocated to the lunch room and on your honor you were supposed to leave money.

I checked the lunch room two hours later hoping to buy some of my own things but they were gone. I heard over three hundred and fifty dollars was raised.

Thursday, November 01, 2007