Wednesday, March 31, 2004

I'm doing goodly...

The laptop crashed, I had to buy replacement software, I was outside working in the rain, I missed an important phone call, one of the guys I was working with did much of nothing...

But things are okay, things are alright. I got both my packages from Amazon. I think I'll read a book.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

sometimes my thinks go thunk...

Have you ever had a thought in your head and it doesn't seem like much of anything, rather uneventful really, you think it is probably not worth the mentioning but you do, you mention it, whether to the cocktail napkin in front of you, or some other conveyance. You convey this little think that you thunk and once it gets outside your head it seems to get larger hardly noticeable at first but then larger, and larger, and larger still, exponentally. Before you know it there is this titan of a thought in front of all, it over shadows everyone's happy little thoughts.

In the shadow of this now a monster pondering, you think a different thought, you think "Awe, sheeeit".

Ever do it twice in a row?

"Is your horse a two seater?"...

I said I wish I were a cowboy
she said I wish you were one too
cause if I were a cowboy,
I'd get on my horse, and this is what I'd do,
I would ride away from here
just me and you.

then she looks all inquiring-like, cocking her head and raising an eyebrow, looking at me sideways and asks
"Is your horse a two seater?"

Monday, March 29, 2004


you would think I would post something about the jazz club I went to, there was drinking, laughing, jazzing. I had my social A game that day, I was on, but I would rather talk about getting rooked by a vending machine and shit like that.

It was Ryles, in Cam bridge MA, the jazz club was.

I saw some father get rooked by that machine (the one with the super balls that look like pool balls) today while I was using the ATM in the supermarket.

I don't get charged a fee, if I use the machine in the supermarket. Sometimes I'm cheap and it's near the house.

My own mini-me...

Some of those cd's I recently bought were of a county type style. They are more of a pop type sound but there still is the steel guitar and maybe a banjo and fiddle here and there. I rather not go into the why, just admitting it, is all I can bear. Anyway, I'm playing the cd's while Little g is around because I just got that second half of the shipment that morning and she start singing along and she starts adding "Yee-Haw" here and there, which still cracks me up. She also makes up lyrics about riding on a donkey. That cracks me up too

Later after Little g is back at her house, I'm in this discussion about what a card she is, and the yee hawing and stuff comes up along with when she called me ma'am last weekend, and someone says what makes that stuff even funnier is that that is classic you, that's exactly the type of stuff you do, only now you're on the receiving end. Which is true, but Little g might have better timing.

Pocket full of diamonds...

pocket full of diamonds and wings upon both heels, 'cause when you have a pocket full of diamonds the whole world is made of gold.

Sunday, March 28, 2004


One of the things I vowed when I started writing things down was that I was never going to offer advice. When I see others offer advice, I'll sometimes ask "What do they know?". So in order not to be a hypocrite, I don't offer advice because you can ask the same about me.

But here's something that might be worth trying. When your faithful touchstone indicates sterling silver don't retest your metal just accept the results.

Then if you're not too busy let me know how you got the courage to do so.

touchstone n.

1. A hard black stone, such as jasper or basalt, formerly used to test the quality of gold or silver by comparing the streak left on the stone by one of these metals with that of a standard alloy.

2. An excellent quality or example that is used to test the excellence or genuineness of others: “the qualities of courage and vision that are the touchstones of leadership” (Henry A. Kissinger).

I won't forget the little people...

I was going to do some work but...

My sisters are fussing about with one of their vending machines which just swallowed four of my quarters and burped out nada, which made me remember something.

"Hey, in the supermarket they had a vending machine selling superballs that looked like pool balls" I said.
"Yeah, it ate my fifty cents" the teacher sister said.
"It ate a dollar of mine. I did the fifty and nothing so I shook it the best I could and put another fifty in with no results"
"That guy must be making a fortune"
"Yeah, and then I thought the thing is full of rubber balls all crammed into a glass container, nothing going to move, ever. That bastard."

Then I get this idea about vending machines online, like with a five dollar minimium or something. I think I going to be rich.

Sunday's next...

I think goofball stage is officially over. Over since Friday afternoon. I'm not certain what stage I'm in now but it's not miserible prick mode so that's a plus.

I at the real estate office catching up on stuff, mostly my log updates and new cd listening. I did install a cd burner into the machine, which is now completely devoid of it's plastic shell. Prior to today, only the access panel was off, now it's all gone. I used to have an external burner but since the os change I've been without a proper driver and I wanted a faster burner so, I got a faster burner.

Presently, I'm drinking cold coffee and avoiding eating it companion which is a strawberry cheese danish. If I would just stop eating crap, I would get back to my fighting weight, oh well, maybe tomorrow.

Where am I up to? Saturday?

Yeah, Saturday. Little g is with me again. There is this business run out of the house, a comic book like business, small potatoes, so nothing fancy, all mail order, internet, ebay stuff. All the stock is in the basement, all the stock and one of my sisters. Little g asks about the sister that in the basement, so we go to the basement. Hello's all around, then Little g asks can I use all kinds of saws? Which I think is an odd request from a 10 year old girl who will readily tell you she is a princess, but hey, I have all kinds of saws so we get to sawing.

The first tool that was every mine was a small hand saw. I think I was five maybe younger, my dad had a burlap sack of them, which is odd, saws usually don't come in sacks. Anyway, saws hold a special place in my heart. A lot of what I know I cannot pin onto one person, most is a compilation of varied teachers and just stuff I picked up, but the use of a hand saw was taught to me by my dad, if Little g uses a hand saw because of me, my dad's efforts will not have been in vain, in some way. So I think.

Sawing random pieces of wood is great but making stuff is better. So we cut scrape wood to size and take it to the kitchen where we woodburn our names into our respective pieces of plank. I haven't used a woodburner since I was seven, so I forgot a lot but the signs where okay. We end up making signs for her friends, four friends, which were damn near close to decent.

I later got to thinking woodburning is a lame craft, if you want to put all that effort into a piece of wood, paint it or something but there are some things the great burners can do I guess that painting cannot but I still don't get it.

Lady G also has left me an assignment. She needs a handled small paper bag customized for what I don't know but she wants a name on it. So now I need to find my calligraphy stuff, the last time I used that was probably three years ago because the stuff was on sale, prior to that, I'm thinking high school. I used to address Lady G's letters in calligraphy.

I don't say much of anything very definite but handwritten letters rock with not a doubt. If you get a handwritten letter, those words are real, really real, a bit of soul. Not always good news but always real. Really real which rocks.


Lady G remembers too much stuff.

I do a couple practice runs because I have only one bag, I forget how some of the letters are supposed to look so I make stuff up. Stuff that looks good, dare I say quite good ...okay maybe only just good, but it's only just a paper bag.

When I return Little g home, she goes home with four signs for friends, a kazillion custom magnets (which I didn't mention), a customized bag, and Sunny Doodles, Sunny Doodles are Lady G's favorites. Sunny Doodles were on sale at the supermarket.

Little g has left her name sign on my kitchen table, the best stuff is on the back of the sign where we were just goofing about.

Lady G is my favorite.

There is some hope...

This is from Friday ...before the ...well you know, if you know. If you don't know, it don't matter.

Lady G drives a trolley, not very glamorous but the drivers get paid in sacks of money, and the benefits are prime.

I have the good fortune of getting on her light rail train today, I've missed seeing her, I haven't been making time for her but anyway, she's chatting up some old guy. I wait my turn. I sneak up from behind and ask who's that guy, with all the jealousy I can feign. She calls out to the old guy, Frank, lets him know that he made her boyfriend jealous. She greets me with the smile I fell in love with, her smile fills my world with hope.

She tells me stop sneaking up on her or I might get hurt. I worry she is only half joking, others have been stabbed. ...Charges dropped.

We have invites to get out so, I'll see her later.
My sister, the teacher, is doing these posters for the school and she needs photos of the kids. She isn't happy with the quality of the pics, she says she can't get the lighting right and the resolution is poor. She is using a camera whose heyday has past. So, I offer her my camera. The one I carry all the time. My camera has more bells and whistles than a rape prevention seminar for Santa's Reindeers, so getting a decent shot should be easier. And, now, I see these scenes I want to shoot but the scenes remain unshot.
So one of my problems is that I want to believe differently than I do, but I cannot justify changing my beliefs.


This was part of what was in my drafts from Thursday. There were a bunch of things that didn't make it by the delete key. I'm not certain why it all didn't get trashed.

So I talk, that's me. Talking mostly to myself.

Maybe, it's a guilt thing, I'm sure the government cheese story would reveal it but I'm not going to deal with that yet.

I'm told I'm a gem. I disagree silently.

I'm famous for putting myself in a situation where I get to choose between two things, at least one being very good, if not the best, and then taking a pass on it.

There are most likely self esteem issues as well. Self validity is a hobby of mine too, I eat that stuff like candy.

I'll end this here.

I'll go get candy. (edit: Here I was actually talking about actual candy as opposed to figurative candy, but in hindsight, the candy was figurative)

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Two bucks for a show ain't bad...

So, I'm at lunch thinking about shit, watching people. This young black chick starts walking in my direction, kinda slow. I'm by the hallway to the restrooms so I'm not certain that she's headed to me or not but she has that look. Then I know it's me she's approaching, she carrying a small container, the kind you get for Chinese take-out.

"Excuse, me sir, could you help me out with some change, so that I can get something to drink"

the cardinal is the most ferocious of all the songbirds

My first reaction was saying to myself, pretty good technique. You leave your white boyfriend outside while you hustle money. Your request seems quite reasonable and you leave it open ended, you leave the price of the drink to me. Drinks cost more than 'change' but asking for a buck or two would be asking for too much. I really enjoyed the contrite slow walk, good touch. This probably works wonders with the other business type white dudes that would feel too guilty or self righteous to refuse your not outrageous request.

Here's a tip though, if you want bigger money, run this routine by a guy with a lady, he won't refuse in front of a lady. He'll look like an asshole. You might even score a fiver.

I have change a plenty but I thought the show was a pretty good effort. I have twelve dollars in my pocket, I peal off the two ones and pass them to her. I think about telling her my thoughts but I figure what's the point. Let her tell her boyfriend outside that she just played some dude, an added bonus, free of charge, from me to you. She goes to the counter and I faintly hear the request for water. Water is free, smooth but you need to be quieter next time. I watched her leave quicker than she came, she's all smiles outside. She should really wait until she is out of sight to drop character.

I'm not certain why she singled me out, I was the only one she approached. Maybe, I looked the ripest for picking.

I hope that this is the full extent to which her boyfriend pimps her.

the day job...

Today, I just want to go sit somewhere and figure stuff out. Unfortunately, I have this day job thing in the way.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

tick, tock...

I have about seven minutes worth of work left and I'm posting, just to post.

Instead of getting to getting.

I guess midnight is too early for me to leave.

v-a-p-i-d, vapid

vapid adj.
lacking liveliness or interest

I just felt like typing something...

I promised you forever,
I promised ‘til the day I die,

I’m dying now, so help me,
I swear to God I never meant to lie,

Why couldn’t we be happy?
Why couldn’t we have just held on?

I promised you forever,
This piece of paper says forever’s all gone,

If we sign on the dotted line,
You’ll go your way and I’ll go mine,

There will be no ties that bind
If we sign on the dotted line
Love gets left behind,

I’m thinking ‘bout all the times I held you,
I’m thinking that it doesn’t have to end
I’m thinking about tearing up this paper
I’m thinking that I hate this pen

If we sign on the dotted line,
You’ll go your way and I’ll go mine,
There be no ties that bind
If we sign on the dotted line
Love gets left behind,
If we sign on the dotted line

I promised you forever,
I promised ‘til the day I die,

I’m thinking ‘bout all the times I held you,
I’m thinking that it doesn’t have to end

I promised you forever...

I don't know about this one..

You're Thailand!

Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you, you have a long history of rising above adversity.  Recent adversity has led to questions about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage to attract a number of tourists and admirers.  And despite any setbacks, you can really cook a good meal whenever it's called for.  Good enough to make people cry.
Take the Country Quiz at
the Blue Pyramid

This one's closer..

You're Compassion Fatigue!

by Susan Moeller

You used to care, but now it's just getting too difficult. You cared about the plight of people in lands near and far, but now the media has bombarded you with images of suffering to the point that you just don't have the energy to go on. You've become cold and heartless, as though you'd lived in New York City for a year or so. But you stand as a serious example to all others that they should turn off their TV sets and start caring again.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

You're Dune!

by Frank Herbert

You have control over a great wealth of resources, but no one wants to let you have them. You've decided to try to defend yourself, but it may take eons before you really get back what you feel you deserve. Meanwhile you have a cult-like following of minions waiting for your life to progress. This would all be even more exciting if you could just get the sand out of your eyes.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

You're Ireland!

Mystical and rain-soaked, you remain mysterious to many people, and this makes you intriguing.  You also like a good night at the pub, though many are just as worried that you will blow up the pub as drink your beverage of choice.  You're good with words, remarkably lucky, and know and enjoy at least fifteen ways of eating a potato.  You really don't like snakes.
Take the Country Quiz at
the Blue Pyramid

This post is so I don't forget...

I get to the real estate office and *agent J* is there, she askes if she thanked me for the other day, I don't think she said the words but I replied I think you probably did, (I have a problem with outright lying but I don't mind fudging it) to which she replied "thank you, you're a good man".

"Thanks, I try" sometimes

I didn't want to argue the point.

I'm undefeated in Olympic Fencing...

Poker chips seem to be on time now. The Amazon order got delayed so I cancelled it because I didn't enjoy the service.

So here's the message I sent Amazon:

I canceled the above order because I am disappointed with your service. Most of the items I selected had a shipping date of no more than three days. I ordered the items on March 13 and now ten days later Amazon informs me that there is a delay.

You need to be more honest with your estimated shipping dates. This is not the first time Amazon has let me down.

And please don't offer me some five dollar credit that expires in a month, if you check your records, I don't use them.

I want better service.

Here's the reply

Greetings from

It is always important for us to hear how customers react to all aspects of shopping at Strong customer feedback like yours helps us continue to improve the selection and service we provide, and we appreciate the time you took to write to us.

Thank you for shopping at

Best regards,

Lana Smith Customer Service

And I'm a goddamn stockholder to boot. I have 3.84 shares of Amazon thanks to Yeah, that is correct, it's less than four whole shares.
So, Lady G keeps asking if I'm getting enough sleep, I tell her I get enough. She tells me that white people get more noticeable bags under their eyes and the bags make them look old. I tell her, if that's the case I'll save off the goatee and I'll lose about six years, to which she replies but then you are no longer look sexy.

She is correct.

If I get enough nerve up, I'm going to morph the goatee into a Van Dyke and wear my foil by my side, challenging people to duels.

Actually, I'm better with the Epee or the Sabre.

Man, I would get the best seat on the subway train.

Maybe, I'm not getting enough sleep.

A day late. So sue me..

Conscience is the root of all true courage; if a man would be brave let him obey his conscience.
- James Freeman Clarke

I was complaining once (okay it's happened more than once), to Lady G that I was given short notice to do some feat of charity and what I got from her was silence, a so-what sort of silence, so I added that, this feat is hard for mere mortals to do, she told me if you don't like it, then say "no, you will not do it". "You never say no, so it's your own fault".

I was looking for a little support, a little commiseration, and I got a kick in the ass. Once I dusted the footprint off of my posterior, I realized she was right, if I'm willing to do something, I should just shut up and do it. Allegedly, I do things to help people, to make the world a better place, so what's the problem. Unless my true motivation is something different.

pos·te·ri·or n.
The buttocks.

I just get a kick out of this definition, it's like 'nuf said. I'm easily amused.

Wonka's Everlasting Gobstopper jaw breakers are good, I like 'em, but it you really want to risk chipping a tooth you gotta go with the Atomic Fireballs.

Careful: small objects, like hard candy, may inadvertently become lodged in the throat. Hard candy is not appropriate for small children.

So they are made for adults. Right?

So, I start just chewing the damn things, the Gobstoppers, which is stupid, this I know, but after the fifth in rapid succession, I worry that it may be changing the color of the inside of my mouth. ...I just checked it a safe color, maybe a little redder.

Also, the Gobstopper box is soundless to humans when blown through. Yes, I actually tried.

Did I mention I'm in goofball mode?
Who was the first to throw shit into a fan?

in with the new, keep the old on the shelf...

I believe both and are deceiving to me as to when my parcels will arrive.

And I'm concerned enough to check on them at 2:00 in the morning.
I have a new pocket dictionary, over 120,000 words, phrases and definitions, hardcover. My faithful friend of 20+ years lost it's front paper cover, an old Webster II, it sort of just fell off. I think it wants to retire, so I welcome the new chap and hope it will serve me as well as its predicessor predecessor.

One of my hobbies is reading the dictionary, I usually don't remember any new words, I just like looking about.

ahhh.. that's better.

I just got back from the airport. Lady G is back home from LA.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Friday's Post wonderful

abridged, boiled down, breviloquent, brief, compact, compendiary, compendious, compressed, condensed, curt, epigrammatic, laconic, pithy, succinct, summary, synoptic, terse

It's all greek to me, none of those words look familiar.

Usually, I will go on and on about things and then erase the first fifteen hundred words. I'll be towards the end and then say f*ck it and try to get to the blunted point of it all, yesterday I did not. And, for that I do apologize.

But here we go again.

Today, while ironing my clothes I kept doing my best Chapelle doing his Rick James, "I'm Rick James, Bitch" something like twenty times, then I added the "Charlie Murphy" and then both together. I found this to be funny, and then I worried that my goofy behavior yesterday had nothing to with some boarder line Bud product but some faulty wiring in my head. And, then I thought maybe I'll start greeting people with the "Charlie Murphy", and then the light bulb went off and I said "holy shit" that's what she was talking about.

My days are late and my dollars are short.
Last night Lady G was on a quest to score a hotel room out in LA for the BET music awards, her playing field was She has this system to get the lowest fare and priceline only gives you three swings for each credit card. She was striking out and needed more cards, so I got the call. It turns out only one of my cards had enough room to play and after three swings I was out. She says oh, well, maybe I won't be going. I tried to feel sorry for her but I wasn't happening. I prefer to have her around, or more aptly, I like her having me around. It's her show, I'm just a supporting character in it. Any way, we both end up online and at like 2AM she sends me an instant message saying she scored a hotel room for four nights and a car for $250. Great, I said followed by so you're going to leave me and the kids? Yes, you should have treated me better was her reply.

So I've been getting to work on time, frequently early, and on the plaza today I run into the former co-op, the one I was emailing yesterday. I greeted her with "what I remember things, so know you don't talk to me?" she does a "what the f*ck" type of thing looking at her watch, feigning surprise to see me this early. She asks what's the deal with you being on time, early no less, what are you upset that after coming in late so many times nobody cares enough to say anything to you? I confirmed that for years I was coming in late and nobody said boo to me but I said I'm supposed to be there on time so I should get here on time, coming in late finally got to me.

We chatted some more, she relived the Thom Kadzook's kiss, which was very entertaining. She told her coworkers and they said to file a lawsuit, I said Thom might enjoy the change, she confirmed he might.

We are tight once again.

She sends my another email:

I forgot to tell you this morning that we got Wrestlemania XX PPV on Sunday. It was like $50. We taped it if you want to borrow it.

Ya, know. I admit I would watch it if it were at the house but I can't bring myself to ask or even confirm that I would want to borrow it. I'm still not comfortable with my fondness for professional wrestling.

But, thank you.

I should be getting my 400 custom imprinted 11.5g clay poker chips in a smart looking aluminium case on Wednesday.

So is this what you do all day? Buy shit online...

And you're not comfortable with your liking of professional wrestling because it is VERY GAY (in the "man-on-man" homosexual way)

Actually, I purchased the poker chips on Evacuation Day.

And my problem with pro wrestling is not the gayness, it the whole foolishness of it all, It's grown men play fighting. I don't mean to diminish the great effort and showmanship but it's grown men playing at fighting and I'm sightly embarrassed to enjoy the show.

What's going on with you lately? Coming to work on time, thinking wrestling is immature... Are you having a midlife crisis? Or are you finally growing up?

If you really want to know..

The following is true and of a private nature. So close you eyes if you don't wish to see.

I do have a web log, and I started to realize I would kick my own ass if I had to sit next to myself on a daily basis, so I have a choice: to be a miserable hypocrite or change.

I'm in the process of struggling to change.

Only because I can't figure out how to kick my own ass without getting my ass kicked, if that makes any sense.

I'll kick you in the ass if you want.

Seriously though, change is always good. Some of the best things I've done
for myself involved radical change. And just remember that life is too
complicated not to be a hypocrite some of the time.

It's good to know you're there for me. Thanks.

That frog, the one from WB, the one that only sings for the burly construction worker, he has a name believe it or not, Michigan J. Frog.
So, regarding me remembering obscure stuff, I'm at this small group meeting and someone is asked "if you were forced to go to a Halloween Party, what costume would you wear?". A different person asks when would you ever be forced to attend a Halloween Party. I said you know in Luxenburg, it is actually required. And then some smart apple says you know I don't believe that but if it were true, you would know it, you know all the obscure things like that.

Yeah, I've been told.

Oh, shit here's another, yesterday too, I minding my own business and two co-workers / poker buddies are utilizing a map, I don't know what the talk is about but I hear "I don't know lets ask the guy that knows everything" and then there is silence, so I turn around and they are both looking at me, so they ask the question, and I reply "how the hell am I supposed to know", but I look it up for them.
So, I'm some pompous-ass-know-it-all, as if you didn't know.
Lady G calls me from LA she there safe but not so sound, she has forgotten her driver's license and she thinks she left her passport on the plane. Without the license she cannot rent a car, being in LA with no car is rough.
Lunch today was at an old familiar, I left earlier than the others but later than I was supposed to. I left chewing gum for all.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Pardon me,'am?!...

Little g was hanging with me yesterday, Little g is Lady G's ten year old daughter.

I asked her if she ever made pizza's before and she replied that her family usually buys their pizza. With the tone that only losers make their own pizza as opposed to I've never had the fun experience of making my own pizza.

I have been over the loser part of that discussion with myself a few times. I'm not certain why I cook as much as I do because take-out or even going out is by far easier and you can get quality food if you pick your spots right. And I'm not saving any money cooking for myself, if I figure it out, I'll let you know.

So Little g is helping out and I say something to her and she replies "okay, ma'am", which still cracks me up. I don't know where she gets her snide remarks from but she's a funny little shit.

We also had a snowball fight, I got more hits on her mainly because she was head hunting with mild success.

She took her left-over pizza home with her, she had wanted to put potato on it as a topping but I forgot and after some debating, I think potato might be a decent topping if it were sauteed or something first. She ended up with chicken, onions chopped fine, pineapple (just one chunk), and a little bit of ham and salami, with a good amount of cheese. Good choice.

My niece was also by Saturday and there was a little bit of bonding between the two girls which was nice because the niece gave Little g the cold shoulder the first time they met. The niece also gave the cold shoulder treatment to Lady G but later warmed up, because few can resist the charms of Lady G.

Lately, I've been in goofball mode which is more pleasing than the bitching hypocrite mode. I know when the change happened I just don't know why.

Presently, I don't care why.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Maybe I'll hire a band.

the cellie rings, it's 7:57AM, that means one of two people, Lady G who is in LA, or the owner of the real estate office. LA's time is 4:57AM (I think), nobody ever gets into trouble at 5:00AM, so I'm pretty sure who causes my phone to ring.

"Tim, it's *the owner*, I need a favor"
"The ad looks great by the way"

We've already been over that the tribute page in Boston Homes is not an ad but it's just easier to refer to it as such.

"It's ...okay, I'm not very happy with it"
"It's plain and simple which is nice for what it is"

no comment from me, I agree, that the style was correct but ...I don't know, I don't like it. I don't like a lot of my work.

"*Agent J* has a banner she needs hung, she was going to do it herself but I don't think she should, can you hang it?"
"I guess"
"Tell me if you can't"
"No, I guess I can"
"Because, you might be doing something"

I laughed out loud because she usually forgets that I might be doing something and instead of me saying 'no shit', I just laughed. She continued...

"No, you might be doing something, ...I don't know. Is it alright?"
"I guess", I kept with the I guess because I was sort of told that a banner might be hung from the street lights, I would have a problem with hanging stuff from the street lights.

"So, you'll do it"
"Yeah, I'll do it"
"Thank you very much, *agent J* is leaving at nine for the service."
"You're welcome", I don't like saying your welcome because, to me it seems to make like the thank you was required, I usually says 'sure' but that seems to imply that the thank you is insincere, so I went with the 'you're welcome'

I grab as much stuff as I can think of to hang a banner, rope, nails, screws, hammer, cordless screwdriver. I was told I didn't need a ladder, my hope was that this was correct.

I get to *agent J*'s house, which has no house number, and I run into a city co-worker, he's hanging no parking signs from the belated St. Pat's Day parade, he asks what's going on, someone's walking past, so I try to delay the reply because I think strangers talking about the dead in front of someone who might know the deceased is rude, but the pause is going too long so I start. The guy walking by turns and says "It's a tragedy, isn't it?", yeah, it is, but my co-worker hasn't a clue, so I tell him that some guy fell to his death right across the street, the guy had two young kids and a wife.

The guy walking by ends up going into the house of *agent J*, I check the house numbers on either side, to confirm that this is the correct house, the house to the left is without numbers too, so I check the one after that, I do the adding by two and then by two again and I believe I have chosen the correct house. I look for the door bell that isn't there, so knocking my next choice. The knocking works, it's the guy walking by that answers the knock.

"I'm looking for *agent J*, I'm here to hang a banner", I explained,
'"You're the guy that was talking to the city guy"
"Yup, I work for the city, he a co-worker"

Turns out, this guy is the guy that found Barry after Barry fell. This guy worked with Barry. Joe is his name. I talked to *agent J* who is working on the words she wants to say at the service, she's worried that her looks may not presently be up to snuff, I tell her I won't look, I don't.

Joe gets the banner, he's a gregarious guy, he asks if I knew Barry, I did not, today I'm glad I didn't but I'm certain I would have benefited from the knowing, if I had.

Joe also gets rope and explains that there are screws and nails and stuff across the street, if we need them, also a screw gun. I find Joe to be aces. I don't need anything I brought.

We decide to screw the banner right to the house, we wanted to rope it from the windows but couldn't get it taught enough, we didn't want to put screw holes into the house but we couldn't avoid it. It's going to be painted soon anyway, the holes are easy to fix.

Joe's a chatter box, my box lacks chatter but Joe is still working out the loss of a friend, co-worker, neighbor, brother, mentor. The banner gets hung and then hung again because our spotter has other things on her mind, things more important that a mis-centered banner. The re-centering is easy enough. Job well done. The house the banner is hung one, is in a stage of construction, so one of the windows need to be re-boarded up, Joe points out where one of his screws has split the window frame, he apologizes to Barry. I let him know that the split will not be seen, that gets covered with trim I explained.

Joe shows me the hat Barry was wearing at the time, there's a hole in the hat, he explains his theory for the hole. I want to escape, I don't want to know anymore. I hadn't wanted to see the picture of him with his young wife for the tribute page, thank goodness the kids weren't in the photo. Joe is going to tell me more, this is certain, I don't want to hear more, I've heard enough. I've heard enough but Joe shares more, I decide to hear Joe out, true, for me I would rather leave, I would rather worry about buying donuts or something, but today I stay, stay to hear Joe because he needs to speak more than I need not to hear. He points out Barry's coat, Carhartt, I've a similar one, he wore that on fateful day.

Joe says other things, all the while I'm looking away, surveying the jobsite, I miss the jobsite. I look away because my whole theory of the window to the soul thing, Joe goes on sharing, he mentions his relationship with *agent J*, says this whole thing made him realize something. He explains he's the jealous kind, he would always ask who's that guy, he realizes now, some people need to be shared. Shared because you never now what the next minute brings.

We make it to the sidewalk, banner is nicely hung, the best it could be, Joe offers his hand, which at first I miss because I'm looking at things, things other than Joe, he says thanks a lot, I say the same, I explain that I thought I was going solo on the banner but I couldn't have done it by myself. Joe corrects me and says I could have which is true, I had the solo plan worked out before I got there. Joe's a realist, a straight talker. I took the chance and looked Joe in the eye, Joe's going to be okay, even better in the days to come, Barry taught him carpentry skills while alive and some about life after.

Friday, March 19, 2004

I forgot, almost...

The publisher of the newspaper said he could run the ad no problem, so the tribute goes in.
My custom poker chips should be here Wednesday

Thursday, March 18, 2004

That voice in my head keeps reminding me I'm, by default, an ass.

the first web log I ever fell in love with belongs to an Angel. I came across this angelic spot circuitously. I was being an ass and I needed the Official Rules of Yankee Swap, which by the way can be found at A copy of said rules were also posted on a blog, I live in a pumpkin shell and there I live very well but this was my first exposure to logs on the web, well this guy had links and his links had links and one of the links was to this future favorite spot. A lot of the logs I read were a lot of fuck you, fuck this blog, fuck me, fuck the color blue, fuck this, fuck that, you suck, I suck, we all suck together. What first caught my eye were the pictures pirated from the Maxx comic book series, I was all like holy shit I have that! Plus she's wears a corset to boot, a corset and roller-skates, how cool is that? ('s the coolest). She tells of her adventures and has photos to prove it and every once and awhile she poses a question, a question that requires thinking with depth, a question that reveals something of herself. The questions make me realize what an intellectual misfit I have become, makes me wonder if I ever was as smart as I thought previously.

One day she says something, something I worried about, something I worried would change the postings. So, I sent an email using the info there in provided. My email said something like, you probably don't give a care but I'm a fan. She said she did care, which surprised me a bit. Then she asks a question on her the site, it was probably rhetorical but I wrote her the answer anyway. So, then I felt guilty, I'm engaging with someone who knows nothing of me but I know little bits about her, that didn't seem right to me so I wrote things down, wrote them down right here in this blog.

The blogging thing originally was to try and level the playing field for my own sake and also so I would have a reason to learn HTML, but I found out that some of the stuff I would write I didn't truly believe after I thought about it, then I started writing for me. Writing all sorts of things, things only I would care to type, then I got an email, an email from someone I didn't recognize. My first reaction was 'oh, shit someone is reading this crap', actually, that's still my reaction, but I was concerned that anyone reading on this site really should be reading something better than the likes of this. My solution, add links, so I ask my first love (regarding blogs) can I throw up a link, she says sure, I have a couple URL's but I prefer if you use this one and types out url all nice and neat. I'm thinking great, splendid, golden, sweet, thank you, thank you, thank you. Of course, I played it cool and kept all that to myself and then ended up using a different url than the one she recommended because I wasn't paying attention.


The moral of this long ass boring as hell story, I truly hope you skipped to the middle if you are reading this now, is if you are talking to me and I look like I might not be focusing, or if my reply is different than you expected, you may just want to thump my head, melon style, just to make sure I'm listening. And, I mean no disrespect when my attention strays, it could be that my glee gets in the way.

... hell really boring? As in boring as hell. I think not, I'm sure it's not pleasant but there has got to be a lot going on.
Dole orange juice bites, end of that story.
Well folks, I'm afraid the wedding is off, I knew about it Wednesday but only had the courage to write something now. Lady G was by the office on Wednesday and I walked her to the elevator, I would like to say the walk was because I'm the consummate gentleman but it's because she mentioned to me before that this is what I should do, sometimes I need a nudge, the walk is fine by me, I enjoy the extra time. So we're at the elevators and she says we could have had lunch together if she wasn't delayed waiting to talk to a city councilor. The new plan is for her to go to Wendy's to get the chicken strips, which are nice, but they can't compare to KFC's crispy strips. I tell such to Lady G and she disagrees. I do a "say what?" and she repeats that Wendy's is better that KFC. Well, that's a deal breaker in my book. Her judgement was subject anyway, look who she hangs out with.

Or is it look whom? 'Looks whom' seems stupid but I think it's correct but I refuse to use it. Damnit
So I get an email from the former co-op that states:

Thom Kadzooks just congratulated me on my upcoming wedding and then kissed me on the cheek. He said he overheard it from you and *your supervisior*. Thanks alot, I appreciate it. Really, I do...

To which I replied:

No, thank you. That's some funny shits, if you are where I sit.
I'm here to help.
Maybe *the most senior engineer* will grab a handful of something when he congratulates you.
In my defense, *my supervisor* is the one that brought it up. I don't like talking about your wedding, it still hurts too much.
I truly feel guilty in the amount of funny I'm getting from that.
How awkward was that?
Okay, the funny wore off a bit, I'm truly sorry, I do apologize, I forget the walls have ears.
Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? I'm serious.
I will not speak of it in the future, for starts.

To which she replied:

Ya, let's NOT tell *the most senior engineer*.

I feel dirty. He just went in for it before I knew what hit me. I guess it could have been worse, he could have coped a feel or something.

It's okay, I'm just never telling you anything again.

So I wrote:

Why do I get punished? I thought we were tight?

So she wrote:

I didn't know how much I meant to you. I accept your apology and I won't hold you solely responsible for the molestation I just endured.


Thank you and I probably shouldn't mention this but you could have lied and said you only told me you were getting married to stop me from hounding you to let me see the birthmark on your lower leg.


I don't even know what to say to that. You are so weird and remember the most random stuff.

Me not knowing when to quit:

Try living in my head, what you get exposed to is only a sample of what's up there. I think it's the left leg.

Her, wishing I quit:

I am so tweaked out by you right now. I'm glad you don't work with little children. (Well, actually.... you sort of do work with children... )

Me, trying to stop the train:

I'm guessing my guess was correct.
The reason I remember is you were showing me your shoes or your socks for some reason (note to reader, this is at least five years ago). The reason is what I have forgotten. Anyway, I caught a very quick glimpse of what I thought might be a tattoo and I called you on it. You got evasive so I pressed you on it because I'm an ass (I think you keep forgetting that) and you said it was a birthmark and then I felt bad because I don't think you really wished to share that with me.
So what was etched in my mind was not to mention that again and for some reason I can remember that you were standing sideways to me showing your left foot.
I guess my decision not to mention it again would have been wise if I had actually done so.

Her, she gave up.


So, I'm walking about and think Mmmm... candy. Candy is a hobby of mine so I decide on the mini fruit slices, yummy, but I want to share so the plan is to get one half pound in two different bags. I step to the counter and converse with the one who cares for the candy. I say (I've cranked up the pompous-assedness):
"please Miss might I have a half pound of the mini fruit slices?"
"yes" says the candy cutie
"might I get them in quarter pound bags?" I further inquired
"We only have these sized bags" she consoles holding up a bag
"That okay just use two of them" I explain
So she fills one bag with .25 pounds and then empties half of that into the other previously unused bag. I would have just taken that but a quarter pound of candy isn't enough to share. So, I explain I would like one half pound total.
"two half pounds?" she asks
"No, two quarter pounds" noticing she's not as cute as I thought
so, somehow I end up with a quarter pound in two bags again, two eighths of a pound bags.
"Like this?" she asks presenting the bags
"Only twice as much" I say pointing to both bags.
Which worked, I have two bags of mini fruit slices that each weigh one quarter of a pound.
So I get back from lunch with the candy, the person I wish to give the candy to, I think I refer to her as Miss Y in here, sits with another person. I don't like giving Miss Y things without giving her neighbor anything, I think it's kinda rude, so I wait, because sneeking Miss Y the candy is still rude but at least her neighbor doesn't know it. I wait some more still no seclusion. But in the process of me checking she catches me looking, I don't know the tell I told but she meets me back at my cube and sees the two equal bags, and asks "what's this for?" I say "one's for you" to which the reply "I thought something was up" was given, "did I have that look?" asked I, "Yeah, you had that silly grin".

I am glad the guys drink while I'm playing poker with them because I don't have a poker face.
allmybrokenthoughts now abrokenlink was itsomethingIsaid?
So after work, me and my supervisor go for a couple, which we haven't done for awhile. I can't stay too long because I have this meeting at 7:30PM but I ended up having two pints of Bud Light draft. I don't know what was wrong with me today but that quart of light beer just about got me lit. The whole trip home I thought everything was funny. Particularly, Hello Kitty. Probably three years ago I gave a fellow engineer a hot pink Hello Kitty baseball cap for his birthday as a joke, and he actually got my supervisor to wear it home one day. Today that shit was funny.

Never mind me folks, I'm just entertaining myself here on the subway, yeah, I'm lit off of two beers, two light beers. That still makes me laugh, I'm a lightweight, for today at least.

you're on your own for this title, I got nothing.

So, I start the laundry, the dark clothes if you need to know, I took care of the whites and lights earlier in the week then I start playing poker with my mom and two of my sisters, quarter bets mostly. Play maybe twelve hands and I get a call after the fourth card up in Texas Hold 'Em, I hoping it a quick call because I'm in the middle of something but the phone call is going to be longer than I wish, so I fold. Turns out I wouldn't have won the hand anyway.

The call came at 7:42PM on the cellular so that meant one of two people, Lady G or the owner of the real estate office. The voice on the other end wasn't Lady G, and it said...

"Tim, I need a huge favor"

It turns out that a father of two had just widowed his wife and instead of the normal advertising the owner wanted to do a tribute page. At this time of night the deadline is four hours past and the newspaper's offices are closed. But we'll see how it goes. The ad is done, I had to draw a claddagh and paint in the back part of a cropped head to round it out but like I said it's done. I'm not super happy with it but I gave it my best was the best I could do with what I had was a best effort for a change.

Before I left the house I threw the laundry in the dryer so at least that was taken care of as well.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004


I need to do a laundry, I should have wrote myself a note.

Do you want fries or chips with that?...

I want chips, poker chips, the heavy ass clay poker chips. So I spend the time I gained in not having to shovel in my quest for poker chips. I drive here, I drive there, I have to park way other there, I find chips but I do not like so I'm sans heavy ass poker chips with style, I added the style requirement after seeing two sets without. So, I go online find 11.5g poker chips in some style called dice and get them customed imprinted with denominations, the sweet alumnimium case is only $1.95, that's right! under two bucks if you buy the set, which I did.


earlier today, I thinking about stuff, stuff like I would like to tell someone that I'm pulling for them, I hope things all work out for you because for some reason I care. Then I think, the connection is only a few digital bits of information, how will that be received, how do I say it eloquently, and nonmisunderstandable. Then I remember that I spelled something wrong in the previous post but sent it anyway. Then I think about the person who sends me email and the salutation is always Tim-Me because it's all about me.

Since when do I care about eloquence and then make up a word like nonmisunderstandable, to boot.
Also, earlier, after I was up for about an hour and one half, I sat down and fell asleep, I have no reason to be tired so I don't know what that was all about but I had this dream that I woke up and went outside to shovel and most of the 8 inches of last night's snow was gone. There was only some left on the lawn which I thought was pretty damn sweet, then I woke up and went outside for real. Most of the snow was still there but most of the shoveling was done, all I did was neaten things up a bit, which I thought was pretty damn sweet.
So anyway, I'm pulling for you, if that matters at all.

one half of a thought and b.s. the rest...

I've seen charity be uncharitable.
I used to help pass out government cheese which changed the me that was I. I mentioned to someone before that I frequently, don't look people in the eye and it's not because of shyness or rudeness, or that I have something to hide, it's because I sometimes see too much.

I believe the eyes are a mirror/window to the soul and I have seen souls that needed help but I could not or would not do anything in the way of assistance. I've been told you shouldn't worry so much about it, sometimes you have to worry about yourself. Some of you have seen my worries and know I have none that are true, I think I should help when I can and I actually expect the same of you on some level.

The deal with the cheese was you could tell why the folks were there, some were like 'oh, free cheese, yes I'll have some', others were like 'give me my damn cheese' but it was the others that got to me, the ones that were like 'thank you kind sir, I need this cheese for my family'...

I've must have hit on something because I just stopped typing.
moving on...

Anyway, I have the day off thanks to the brave Boston souls who drove the British out of Boston back in the day, caused them to evacuate, it's Evac uation Day, so my county, Suffolk, gets the day off, if you work for the government.

Unfortunately, there was this snow fall thing, which dumped a bit of snow in the Boston area so my sweet, sweet driveway needs to be shoveled, about a hundred and twenty feet worth of driveway, then at least that much of sidewalk.

the snow at floor level,
out the back door

The help has been fussing about with my little mannequin dude. One photo is him doing his rendition of 'Stop in the Name of Love' the other photo, is him doing his Sean Penn impersonation.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Lady G's personal cards...

the cards...the colors didn't convert well to the digital world but in real life they are close to the exotic wood called purple heartwood, or at least that is what I believe it's called, so it's more purple-ly than brown-ish, this looks brownish on my end.

of course that is all phony information,
her intials are correct and name length and stuff is not dissimiliar

She is going to the Soul Train music awards in L.A. this weekend.

So the chatting continues...

I get to the r.e. office early because I need a parking space. The parking will be tough because a snow emergency will be declared at 5:00PM, that means that no cars can park on the main drag, the drag the office is on, so the whole displacement theory will be in full effect.

I walk in the office and I must be sorely missed because I wasn't left alone and chatted up worse than I was in the Hall. The office manager asked me how I was five times, five times I kid you not. After number three I was thinking of symonms for fine because maybe she wasn't getting that I'm doing okay. Really, I'm okay, truly. Despite the tone of my posts, I'm well, quite well.

Look at my complaints, they are pitiful.

I have heath, a good paying and at times meaningful job, a huge house, 82 acres in VT, a newish truck, a hot chick that doesn't mind me hanging around, family and friends that are more aces than jokers, I even have some skills.

The con, I don't live up to my potential, basically, and whose fault is that. That's it, that's all I got for the bad, all the mal is a result of that. My most pressing problem is furry tailed rats that like to live inside my house.

Mal?...Did I just write mal into a sentence? Isn't that spanish for bad or a prefix that means bad? Eh, I kinda like it so it stays.

It seemed like everyone had something to say...

I'm a slow reader, true enough, but I can or at least could at one time speed read but I always felt I was missing something of the words, with no doubt, I could tell you the gist of things but I never enjoyed reading fast, so if you check the amount of time that I'm on your page and the minutes seem extraordinary, it's probably because I have been interrupted, and not just my reading style, like today...

I'm reading things and people want to chat me up, chat me up about things I have no interest in at the moment, but what can you do but wait it out or be rude. I wait it out. Is it over? I got things to do. Is that you talking to me again? Alright let me turn half way round. Okay, are you done? Can I go back to what I was doing? When does this story end? Maybe, you are just yanking my chain and I'm just too impatient to know it. If that's the case go ahead and yank, it's been yanked by the likes of better than you. Yank all you want, knock yourself out. If you yank and I don't know I'm the yankee does the yanking even count?

The first shot is free but it gets recorded, the record deposited, the deposit kept with interest. Actually, no it don't. I usually don't care enough about most donkeys to occupy my mind for more than a moment, never mind keeping a running record of wrongs.

Oh, you done? Maybe you are just lonely,... I know, maybe you need a puppy.
That's not how I wanted to start off but, hey, that's me for you.

I didn't sleep well last night, maybe it was something I ate. I was the cook, go figure.

Thoughts were racing around my head, random bullshit thoughts, thoughts with no end, no conclusions, rhymes with no reasons, sometimes reasons without rhymes, I thought about trying to write that stuff down, to get it out of my head but without a conclusion, a closing thought, some resolution there would be no relief. I'm obsessive like that. It went on from like 2:30am until something in my head said "get up" but it was of the tone 'get the fuck up, you're late', I was only late in being early but even still my consecutive days of non-tardiness remains intact. But then I get to work and well... if you read this far, you read what happened.

Lady G says she will be dropping by today at the day job, she needs some business cards by Thursday, by business cards she means personal cards, the ones with personal contact informational things on them, name, email, phone, cell, pager, website, home address, credo. Credo ...I like it when the vocab pokes it's head out. I'm not certain I have every used the word credo before outside of my head, I usually default to creed, which I think is edgier. Anyway...
Oh, if I forget to scan it in, there is this picture in the Boston Herald page six of the March 16th, 2004 issue, a picture of the Mayor of Boston holding a huge photo of John Kerry, and on the photo has been placed a hat like the gondoliers wear, a mustache, and a button that states 'Kiss Me I'm Italian'. Why do I mention this? I'm the one who modified the photo.


I got a cat named Midnight round here
I only feed him tuna fish and beer
Once we split a 5th of wine
Now he wants wine all the time
I gotta cat named named Midnight round here
I got steel in my knees from the war
I don't go to church anymore
That blood and stuff gets pretty rough
I guess I've seen blood enough
I got steel in my knees from the war

It's true, I get jumpy sometimes
Now and then I might forget my lines
The other day, in the checkout lane
I signed a check with my old name
It's true I get jumpy sometimes

I met a girl out walking last night
I tried to kiss her waiting for the light
She said she went to Beauty School
I told her I thought that was cool
This girl I met walking last night

When that girl and me were talking later on
All my inhibitions were gone
Even a crippled bird will sing
I think I told her everything
When that girl and me were talking later on

These days I keep a watch out for the gun
All because the jury was hung
The jury foreman, he just smiled
The killer tapped danced down the aisle
These days, I keep a watch out for the gun

I lost everything because
I told them who the shooter was

Written By: Kevin Welch

wine drinking cats make me smile.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Good luck in Montana, kid.

Friday, I left for lunch a few minutes early and ran into an engineer from another department, another department even different from the one which recently is down one engineer. This engineer stops to talk, whenever I see this engineer, I do make an effort to chat, I'm not a total social misfit. But, I know the nature of this stoppage, it has to do with the dead, not many words were spoken but this fellow states "I didn't know *him* as well as some of you..." and I see there is a sort of sorrow in his eyes, sorrow for me, then he mentions that he signed the book near my entry, which means he read what I wrote...

My entry:

Another watchman short for the old guard of merit
Another loss for the dying breed

I was vexed in writing something because I knew it was not private, my coworkers would see what I wrote, but I thought something of me should be conveyed, something given because something was received. I've spoken highly of him when alive, I thought something highly was fitting while dead. I was vexed because I prefer folks, folks I know on a casual level, not know what goes on in my soul. I prefer my facade, the doors and windows are only opened for a few, even fewer are allowed in. With the slip of a fountain pen, I left the blinds open, blinds which cannot be closed. What was truly seen, is not truly known ...and it should truly matter not.

I get out to the field today because my mind has been straying too much while in the office, so out I go. I go out and do so stuff and get a flat. It's a great day and none of my items are time sensitive so it's no big deal. I call to have the car towed because engineers aren't allowed to change tires, the powers that be have even taken the spare from the vehicles, I hoof it to the public transportation station one block and a half away, I wish it were further away, it was that great of a day.

I swear the top is crooked,
leans to the right

I'm thinking I want to get a PDA

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Listen, I don't like you and I just came here for the rolls..

I go to the early church service, there are less people there and I usually get back home by 10:45AM. Today, I figured I'll swing by my former neighborhood's bakery to get some fresh round seeded rolls and a loaf of scali sliced, and the Sunday paper.

I figure it will be a nice and easy operation. I hop from the car which is in the sweetest parking space, as close to the door as possible, someone had just driven off, and I bound into the bakery. I start looking at the selections and hear, "Hi, Tim" and look in the direction from which the salutation came. The person with the greeting is one of the agents, one of the agents I have little respect for, I say "Hi" and then the chit chat begins. I'm not a fan of most chit chat, certainly not chit chat with this agent, certainly not in the bakery line when folks should be ordering and not chit chatting. She askes me twice how am I during the exchange and both times I say fine. I'm trying to keep track of the young lady who is helping me get my desired items and I'm being interupted by this agent who is standing in such a way I have to look in the opposite direction of the bakery help. The questions don't stop so I leave my choices at the rolls and bread and try to get out of the way because there are other patrons behind me. One of my pet peeves is people talking while in my way and I do not want to do the same. She askes "did you get my note?", I try my best to think of the note, nothing comes to mind so I say "What note?".

It turns out, the note she is talking about is the note she left for me on last Tuesday regarding one hundred dollars missing from one of her rental deals which I pointed out to her. She did the math wrong and shorted the deal a c note. She got $50 from one party and is waiting for the other half. She lets me know if the other half doesn't show up that it is to come out of her commission.

I'm pretty sure I didn't laugh out loud but I'm certain I got that devious twinkle in my eye and my sly grin made an appearance as I responded with an "Okay", I'm quite certain she knew I meant you bet your ass it's coming out of your commission.

She put the blame on 'the lady from Ireland', I really did not care to discuss it, so I don't know if that was the new tenant or the landlord, the fault is never her own, when she recounts the story.

She tried to put blame on me once before she knew better, she doesn't do that anymore.

Friday, March 12, 2004

Drink up me hardies, yo ho..

there is a book, a book to write stuff about the dearly vocabulary fails me, no deep shit sayings, no words of kind comfort, no profound prose, no teary-eyed thank you's...just helplessness, failure, loss.

What am I feeling?

He was one of 'the Big Three' now there are two. Guys who started working together while I was in grammer school. Guys who have more years working together than not.

I take the walk to sign the book, still don't know what to write. My supervisor is already there. The room contains dinosaurs and newbies. I stand a bit, shake some hands, nod knowingly, don't say much, grab a coffee from the offerings, take a pass on the bacon and eggs and such, I feel ackward just standing so I go to see his drafting table, keeping my coffee cup at a safe distance. His drafting table, I had one just like it when I arrived at the hall, mine is long since gone, his remains, remains with drafting tools right where he left them on top of the final plan, tools that will most likely never be used again, some of the same tools are thrown in one of my drawers, some tools I do not have. I touch not a thing. I leave his area because the stillness bothers me. I find the book, now available, write my my bit and the book gets closed.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

I don't feel much like dancing today..

Heard today that the life of an engineer in a different department was brought to an end by cancer. It looked like the cancer wasn't that ambitious there at the end, the guy looked good but looks can be deceptive. This guy drew nearly 100% of the plans for his department, drew them by hand, by hand and in pencil. The problem with drawing in pencil is any extraneous graphite from the pencil needs to be dealt with immediately or else the drawing will have smudge marks all over and look extremely dirty. Every line, every dimension, every symbol, every anything drawn produces this damaging dirtying dust. With ink you can rub an eraser over the whole drawing to clean the medium, that can't be done with pencil. This guy kept his drawings pristine, which is a feat among drawing feats, he was a skilled artist.

I just overheard the other engineers describe the guy as an artist as well. So I kid you not.

On my better days I could come close to his quality in the drawing but it would come at the cost of speed, I could never match his lettering. He was quickly very good.

Another dinosaur extinct.

I feel a fight coming on.

Some folks have been challenging how I'm treated, they feel I'm treated unfairly better than some others, these claimants don't have the output or the skills that I do, they don't 'volunteer' when something needs to get done. I get cut breaks because I cut breaks for others.

I usually try to let things slide, let things blow over usually things calm down but the pressure seems to be building, when that happens I sometimes start rocking the boat, start throwing jabs, it's not good to keep all the pressure contained, so I'm starting to push buttons maybe I'll even throw a switch.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

I know, I know...

I know I'm an ass. I working on changing that though but I'm an under achiever so please either bear with me or give me a swift kick, or a quick push from behind. Yes, I will get quiet angry with the kicking and the pushing but once it's all said and done we both will know that was the proper thing to do but I still won't admit it.

If you look at my worries, they are pretty lame, all self induced really, ...truly, ...honestly, ...without a doubt.
Quick day at the r.e. done at 10:35pm.

My work in the hall is stacking up, I'm getting more field work which is nice but my desk work isn't going anywhere. My plan, do the field work and let come what may. I've been asked to do things and I've done them for the most part but nobody has been asking for the stuff and I know it supposed to be moved along. I would ask about it but my philosophy is to not ask a question if you think you may not like the answer. Oh, well.

I have a pretty good life, God has been good to me, I should do more with it, need to do more.

I've been given more dollar bills to the 'homeless'. I'm certain it is for some distorted nonsensical reason.

So, I won $22.00 at Keno today and Liz pays me in singles and tells me I should go the the local strip joint with them. I gave her back more than half of them, which works out to be a 50% tip, she didn't let me slip them into her waistband but I didn't ask to. There were no gyrations either.

Okay, I didn't really win $22 because I paid ten to start so I only won $12.

Even when printing I usually spellout the word okay, I can't remember when that started. Sometimes I do use O.K. but it's infrequent.

My life is like having to choice between jelly or jam, and I'm asking what, no perserves?

When I am straightening out the bottle on the water cooler, I sometimes wonder why my neice is so obsessive compulsive. A tilted water cooler bottle will bother me to no end, yet I can leave a small mountain of previously worn clothes in the middle of my bedroom floor, it's not even a neat pile. What's up with that? I'll usually do laundry when I have to jump over the pile because I can no longer step over it and only then because I'm afraid I will slide on the sleeve of some cotton poly blend and split my head open.

Yes, doctor I was jumping over laundry, missed and slipped on the blue pinstripped buttondown. Can you just stitch me up, please? ...That's if I'm conscience.

What bothered me today, someone reimbused the company for a toner cartidge and on the memo line they put "computer ink" which is so totally wrong.

I hear some folks worry about cancer and unemployment or losing a loved one.

When I toot my own horn, it usually sounds off key...

Yesterday... I think my ramblings are not as worse a day late maybe because some of the haphazardness gets edited out or maybe just forgotten. Anyway, was I starting a story?

There had to have been something. I remember the start...someone was locked out of their house...that's all I got. Well, I got them in, now that's all I got.

I finally hung those silk flowers up for Lady G, she could have easily done it herself but at times she likes to make me feel useful. I will be doing the custom magnets, like the refrigerator kind, for the birthday party for the mother of Lady G, I'm told there is specialized confetti that will be used, my first idea is to get the confetti, scan it, enlarge it, and use it as a background for magnets, magnets shaped like something not yet decided. I have a die cutter at the house so a new die purchase maybe in order.

Either Miss Y is strangely comfortable in my presence or she is flirting with me, ie. a thigh brushes against my shoulder while she reaches for some of my candy followed by a little pout that my Mike and Ike's are almost out.

I need to get more Mike and Ike's.

Miss Y knows all about, and has met, Lady G as well as knowing where the line starts. But winks from the ones further down the line are appreciated albeit fruitless. She was in my cube four times today.

"I can be a bitch sometimes" says Lady G about herself
"You usually aren't a bitch to me, even so, that's part of the package" says I
"You like it when I'm a bitch" she tells me, I can feel her waiting for a denial.
"I won't admit to that but, even so, you make it worth my while"
"Will you stop with the 'even so'?"
..."Thanks for hanging the flowers"
"you're welcome"
"I might have to let you do me doggy style" she says for shock value
"I've given up on that style.." I started to say with not missing a beat
"you're bad" she interrupted with a laugh
I try to finish my statement but she interrupted again with the same but this time adding a 'so' which proceeded the bad.
then she says "good bye, I'll talk with you tomorrow" and hangs up the phone.

good bye

doggy style...Does that mean in the middle of a city owned park? ...well, it really doesn't matter because that's okay, too.

I found this pic at work, it's VT, that my truck, my trailer, my shed

Monday, March 08, 2004

what ever what

If you come by my desk and ask me for something like, oh, let's say a red pencil, please do not give up on your request just because I don't find it in the first drawer I look in. You see, I have three drawers in which the red pencils could be and sometimes I guess wrong but if you start to walk away after the first drawer I start to think you really didn't need the red pencil after all. And believe me, I would rather rummage through my drawers then what I usually end up doing otherwise.
So, during my mini hamburger roll making, I place the dough to rise in my new Mason Cash 13" mixing bowl and set in on top of the preheating oven, right by the heat vent under the top panel (the top panel is where the clock would be if I hadn't removed the clock). My kitchen keeps cool for the most part, so it's not dough rising friendly but the bowl picks up and distributes the exhast heat nicely, right at 93 degrees farenheit. So I say to one of my housemates "this bowl is my new best friend". That's right, my new best friend is a 13" mixing bowl. And this bowl can go places, places like inside the oven, the microwave, the freezer, the diswasher and it's been in England.

So, I'm doing one of those phony paper street name signs that I do because someone is switching to Human Resources and would like a sign that says HUMAN RESOURCES WAY, I type it and see SOUR right in the middle and think that can't be right, so I confer with the dictionary which states that that is the proper spelling but I still don't like it.
rummage n.
A confusion of miscellaneous articles.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

So I'm reading...

I'm reading other's blogs like I frequently do and this guy says he often uses ellipses and I say "Yes!" that's what they are called.

And, I bet I use them more than you, dude, because I use them incorrectly and haphazardly

So something was remembered today. And what I learned was that *** equals ..., how about that.
Oh, Lady G called me regarding the food coloring but for some reason the call went right to the voice mail, and I was notified of such an hour later. She found food coloring and she is using it to dye carnations the color blue. She is testing out stuff for her mother's 60th birthday party.

I don't like silverfish.

Every time I play poker with the guys I'll separate out the money I'm willing to lose from the rest of my pocket money. One reason I do this is to figure out how much I won or lost and also so I will have cab fare home. Every time so far, I have had to use my pocket money to make change or something, so as of yet I have never truly known how much I have won or lost. You would figure I would just count all the money I walk in with, but that solution is just too simple for me.

I do know this, at one point in time I was down at least eighty dollars but after the last hand I had one hundred twelve dollars and seventy-five cents in chips sitting in front of me. I was told I won five out of the last eight hands, the last hands are usually for more money than the beginning hands so it worked to my advantage. I wish I could say it was masterful cardsharking but I think it was mostly dumb luck. The two full houses came in handy.

The selection of beer I brought received a "good choice", the beer brought by me: Coors Original, Harpoon Hibernian Irish Red, and Amstel Light, my three favorite, not necessarily in that order.

I also brought mini hamburgers which were a pain to make but were rather tasty and impressed the wife of our host. Our host for poker this time is the best cook of all of us, so that was a decent complement.

I attempted an additional snack but I wasn't pleased with it ....

I'm at the real estate office and just had a silverfish crawl on my neck, the silverfish is now part of the carpet. Anyway..

The attempted additional appetizer, appealed to me not so it continued to abide at my abode.

Another round of mini burgers made an appearance back at my house today because I had over bought, but it did give me a chance to improve on the home made mini rolls.

My hands still have a faint odor of yeast, even after repeated washings of them and assorted cookware.

I just got a call from Lady G's son asking if I have blue food coloring in the house. Who am I Susy Homemaker?

My check for the r.e. was waiting for me on my chair, unfortunately for me it is unsigned. I could forge it but I don't forge my own checks. It's bad form, even when I have permission from the owner. I don't need the money right now anyway.

So, Saturday and Sunday were both good days for me. I didn't worry about my house. I didn't need to worry about money. I got to spend time with family and friends. I made progress on a better mini hamburger roll. I did however, see one of those furry little buggers crawl through a different hole in the house on Saturday, but I'm putting worrying about that until tomorrow.

Monday I think will bring a new set of problems mostly day job related, which will probably be posted here. If not Monday than early in the week, problems will show up.

I don't like silverfish.

Saturday's Poker Game

I think I may be up almost $40.00 after playing poker, if you don't count the money for beer, snacks and the car service to get me back home. ...I might still be up a couple bucks if those things are counted.

Friday, March 05, 2004


Poker tomorrow.
So, it's 9:36 ante meridiem and I'm snacking on miniature Snickers.
I believe I may have a problem.
Currently, I can spend 56.527 dollars every day of the week after expenses. Of that I spend none of it wisely.
"If she had to haul ass it would probably take her two trips"
I was most likely called a "wanker" today at 3:01pm Greenwich Mean Time
"Is this about the peppers?
When I see some of the previous repairs to this house of mine I really want to sit the repairer down to find out what they were thinking. For the life of me I cannot figure some of the things out.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

yous gots to be kiddin...Right?

You know that picture of the guy getting trash out of the tree limbs.

Who's the donkey that asked him to do that? The tree guy had to find a device or make a device that could reach tens and tens of feet into the air to try and poke refuse from it's entanglement. It's not an easy thing to do. I think I would have had a different purpose for the pole relating to the guy who had a problem with things in the tree.

A smoke would be great
right now.

One of my maps is missing, the map is not important, it was just there to keep people from stealing my clips. I cannot remember which one it was...

later that day the light bulb went on

It was the 345Kv Nstar map.

Now I can worry about other things that don't matter.


See, that blog there? That's the web log I wish I could be.

Actually, I could be that if I chose/choose to get a life.

My waxing has been waned. I take the round about trip to end up nowhere. Or, is it my waning has been waxed?

Does it matter?

Ever hear that over analysis leads to paralyzes? Well, that's me. ...I hate that saying. I also hate the saying we agree to disagree. No! I will shout. I don't agree to that either. I don't agree to disagree. You need to smarten up and agree with me.

I actually argued the point of disagreeing to agree to disagree, ...the other fellow, he disagreed.


If I were to have my own house painting business. I would name it 'Brushes with Greatness'.


I got word today, on the q.t., that this department has budgeted to take care of me. That's seems like good news, right? Well, it causes me problems. For years and years, I have heard that the department is trying to take care of me, but yet my business card hasn't needed changing. Also, a differnet department is trying to make room for me there. That different department is making room at a higher than present pay scale but lower than what I'm told will be mine in the near future with this department.

My current department has me doing political crap with some meaningful stuff thrown in, the other department will have me doing less meaningful stuff but no political crap and I would be working for someone I respect.

My guess is that I'll go where the money is, I would like to say that I chase the money to secure my future but I'm afraid that I'm just a money whore.

I would welcome an easy decision any day now, maybe my decisions are easy and I just make them seem hard.


"That don't make no sense" - Pete from Oh, Brother Where Art Thou?


There are times I wish I had a cigarette, I'll be sitting, thinking and nothing will be coming and I think it would be great if I were dragging on a butt right now, looking like I was pondering some grand notion. Smokers seem to think harder (when they're not all stressing), the long inhale, the holding and the seemingly even longer exhale, all while deep in thought, thinking in depth. There seems to be progress in the solving with every action that a smoker takes.

Pulling, ...holding, ...pushing smoke all while looking you in the eye, while you await a verbal reply.

...umm, what are you going to do?

....I'm working on it. Can't you see me smoking?

Smoking buys you thinking time, you don't need to answer as long as that smoke lasts. And if that ciggy runs out just light another. If I were to sit and 'think' that long without speaking, I would get my head thumped on, melon-style, while being asked "hello, is anybody in there?". But if I'm partaking a Camel unfiltered my inquistors have to wait.

I'm smoking, do not pester me with your impatience. "You need to relax, here have a smoke"


How am I? "It's all bubbles and sunshine." fucker.

So, I'm like asking what do you think and then saying thanks, but I don't care. (but I really do care, it's just that I don't want to)

The most senior guy was being told by the commissioner that he is not to use words like, obstruct, difficulties, hardship as well as general synonyms for no fucking way, she tell him he needs to be positive, which makes him negative. He starts to walk away and he asks me how I'm doing and I say "it's all bubbles and sunshine" loud enough for other ears.


At lunch today I'm greeted by Lynn, she works the same place as Liz, Lynn says "hey, baby how you doing?". Do I look that easy? Lynn did get a 35.92% tip however.

I scored a Keno hat, it's a fine hat, top quality but what does it say about me if I'm walking around in a Keno hat. "No, I don't have a gambling problem. I just like free hats"

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

too busy for lunch.

trash picker with ambition

I sometimes get carried away removing signs

"Where's your phone?"
"Right here." says I
so he does the two way feature that Nextel offers and gets a message that informs him "TARGET NOT AVAILABLE" and says "oh, maybe its a bad signal" and does it again.
"I have it shut off, battery's dead"
"The city goes through the expense of a phone and you keep it off?"
"The battery goes dead, I mentioned that before"
so he pages the phone again, he gets the same message and says "O.K. commissioner, I'll tell Tim, he's in the area" does the page again and feigns frustration. He comes up with a few different scenarios some of which are kinda funny. I explain again about the short life of the battery and apologize and state that I had the phone on but the battery ran out but that I did documented when it went off.
"I have it written down, I'll show you the note"
So I start rummaging through all my pockets. Twice.
"No, wait, I have it really. Oh, here it is"
So, I pull my hand out of my pocket and give him the finger.

And we laughed and laughed and laughed

He was really just looking for a lunch partner.


So, I get to the real estate office after normal hours of operation have past and I have an agent going over stuff with me and there's a knock on the door. It's another agent from another real estate office. I come in late to avoid agents and now I'm getting agents from other offices.

"Hi, I have a p and s for Nancy but I need a copy of the first two pages"
"Alright" I take the purchase and sale agreement and proceed to the copier.
"I was wondering how I was going to drop this off"
"Yeah, you got lucky"
"I'm so and so, I don't think I've seen you before" I would fill in her name but I forgot it.
"I've been around longer than dirt but now I only come in at night. So, you probably wouldn't have seen me but you might have heard my name taken in vain."
"oh, longer than dirt" said almost like a question but not quite

oh indeed

...I think the squirrel story is so much nicer.


That little furry imp, the one I had hoped was out of the house before I sealed him in, well, you see, he was still in, in the house.

So, I get home after the day job, I go to the roof to check to see if anything has been fussing about with my repair.

Good news, looks like nothing was fussing. (that seems to kinda rhyme to me but how can it?)

So, I go back inside and there is the heathliest, largest, fittest squirrel scampering up a wall, a wall that has been stripped to the wooden lathe.

It looks like my unpaying tenant now prefers the outside over the inside and is trying to figure out how to pass through a window. I open one window on an adjacent wall and pop the screen off and then open the one the squirrel was trying to utilize. The squirrel didn't care for my assistance and left the area. I was trying to watch the doorway but...yeah, I took my eyes off the doorway and umm...I'm hoping he went out the window I opened first, cause I couldn't find him.

And why is there no door to this room?

Oh, well.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

What's with the scampering noise?

Maybe I dwell on the miscellany to keep from thinking about more serious things. Like the state of decline in which I see the world.

I like eating off of real plates, one reason for this is sometimes I feel guilty throwing away a paper plate but yet I will leave the house with a paper cup with a plastic lid for my coffee. I do have a travel mug but that doesn't travel much.

I think I am going to change my scheduling to monthly or bi-weekly, I'm finding hard to squeeze the things I need to do/want to do into seven days. I need to schedule days off, by days off I mean the time after my regular work day, there are times I just hang around the house doing mostly nothing because I had put in long hours the day before. Tuesdays are usually and Thursdays are always long days, so I justify doing nothing on Wednesdays and Fridays. Saturday is the only full day I have for me so I push stuff to do onto Sunday, so Sunday is usually a full day so I take Mondays off. So, I take too many days off usually watching the Discovery Channel, the History Channel or the Learning Channel.
I've become an intellectual lightweight.

Was I ever anything different?
The world is a player and the player wants to play you. The world wants you as its dupe, its gull, its mark, its patsy.
So, I'm working on the next big project and one on the most senior guys in title and years of service comes over.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing" says I
"Don't change the signs codes. ...What is an R-2 going to be?"
"That's a good question, either an R6-1L or an R6-1R."
"That's stupid, don't do it"
"I'm just doing what I'm told. I stopped looking for meaning in his job awhile ago. I just keep my head down and let the bullshit fly"

Which isn't true and he knows it, he was just feeling me out. I still speak out against things I think are meaningless but I have my own style of dealing with it. From what I hear, there is high motivation from the top for the new project. So, it's going to happen. I can rail against it all I want and it won't make a difference.

So, the plan is to let it build momentum and then give it a push in the proper direction so that maybe something usable will come from it. On the plus side, I'm pretty certain I'll be able to at least get a better computer out of this deal. My m.o. is to show them something and say this is what you can get but I can't do it on this machine. "Where did you get this?" will be asked. "I did it at home" will be the reply.

Yeah, that's right. I can do stuff like this at home but yet this 'world class' city's engineering division cannot. (the 'you should be embarrassed' will be implied)

Another motive is to let the senior guy think I'm staying out of this one so that he will have to step up to the plate. He's a better hitter than I am. So, now he knows he has to be the lead if he wants something done but I'll get his back if the time comes.
The orange wire nut is gone. It lasted thirty eight days. Mr. Bozo Busybody is back from vacation, maybe he took it.
I sometimes wonder if my little world would even skip half a beat if I were to disappear.
Red Hot Atomic Fireballs are on sale at CVS. Buy one get one for a penny. Mike and Ike's are on sale as well.
I think Skunky is dead.

Two weeks ago there was a dead skunk in the street about 300 yards from my house. Since then, I haven't seen or smelt my crazy backyard skunk.

What is weird is that I miss the skunk.
Someone is beating the crap out of the network printer. When the beatings get this loud the beater will usually continue until professional repairs will be needed and they will affix a 'BROKEN' note.
How dangerous is it to chew upon Red Hot Atomic Fireballs?

Chewing hard candy is one of my vices.
Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.
- Thomas Carlyle

Just only being a part time scoundrel is the best I do, some days.

I escaped to the field today, the field is pretty much screwed.

Came back and dude told me his chipped a tooth on one of the Atomic Fireballs.

Monday, March 01, 2004

The roofing tar is in the basement? Great!

Friday night, phone rings.
"Tim it's *your supervisor*, how are you?"
"I'm good"
"You probably think I'm an asshole but I didn't forget about the twenty you gave me at lunch"
"What?" I had forgotten at the Bar & Grill I left earlier than the others and my supervisor thought he might be short so I gave him a twenty.
"The twenty you gave me, I was playing Keno at the Elks and hit for twenty and remembered the twenty you gave me."
"Don't worry about it"
"But I do"
"Well, don't. I had forgotten about it."
"I'll give it to you next week"
"Okay" said with as much 'forget about it' as I could muster

After work, sometimes my supervisor and I will partake of an offer for $1.50 pints from a local establishment, after three to five rounds we head our separate ways. My supervisor will almost always pick up the tab, I will even have my money out first and hand it to the barkeep but he will have the barkeep return my money to me. Yet he worries about the double sawbuck.

I carry stamps, postage stamps, right in my wallet, I'm a dork like that, anyway my supervisor knows this and he'll ask to buy stamps from me to save him the trip. I'll be like just take 'em but he won't he has to buy them.

Hey, *my supervisor* I'm not going to hold the thirty seven cents over your head. How many beers do you buy me? They probably think I'm your bitch.

Last Friday, my supervisor, who is trying the Akins Diet, was drinking Vodka Tonics, which is a very nice drink, Vodka Tonics because beers have carbs, I think he had four at six point five apiece. Youch!


Tang and Tonic, is one of my other libations of choice mainly cause I think it's cool to order and it tastes like booze, sometimes I like the booze. Usually at social events, I'll order the gin drink, unless I think it will make folks judge me uncouth if I drink beer from a bottle. When that's the case I will sometimes grab a beer for each hand. Pardon me, if I don't shake, my hands are full.


So, I leave my space to fetch a juice, I'm thinking cranberry straight up, juices are on the floor number one, on the way down the elevator stops on five, doors open, then nothing. Nothing, which is followed by two guys each yielding for each other until the doors start to close. So, both these guys are jackasses in my book, just step onto the elevator. I have juice to buy.


I got hooked on cranberry juice when I was just a wee lad. Some of my earliest memories are of me in a hospital, kidney troubles, troubles which could be helped by drinking cranberry juice. A portion of my cranberry juice drinking in the present, is partnered with Vodka.


But when I sing my darling's praise
I know I'm right, or close anyways


So, I get an email, please update this attached file by March 8, 2004, the message gets me a bit pissed but hey, that's my job, updating stuff. I'm not certain as to why the message bothers me, the assignment is not difficult. So, I'm doing the assignment and a planner comes over, just hovering about, looking around my space. I acknowledge his presence and I'm asked "do you have that tracing paper, still?".

Dude, look at this cube, you returned that tracing paper last Thursday, I don't have the room to be storing infrequently used items in my cube. Why didn't you hang onto it until you were done with your foolishness. "I put it away" is what was said with some attitude to let him know my displeasure. If he asked if he could use the tracing paper again or something similar, I would not have been irritated. If he just asked the same question without examining my entire area, I would not be irritated. I expect too much from this planner and I let the little things bother me.

My irritation is more my fault than his and that irritates me.


There is a squirrel living in my eaves. He was giving me attitude because I was producing more noise than he preferred, or maybe he felt I was encroaching on his territory. I'll be up the roof later today.

Sometimes when I'm watching the squirrels, I'll determine how easy it would be to shot them. I'm not a bad shot.

When the DC sniper thing was happening, folks were like "Oh, he must be a trained sniper" and I'm like, pleeeez, I could have made all those shots with scope. As it turns out it was just some regular guys messed up in the head who put minimal thought into the whole process. Not some trained masterplanner. It's not the formally trained demented I have worries about.

Don't worry about the squirrels, they are safe. I have trouble eating meat sometimes if I think too long on from whence it comes. So, I can't picture myself actually shootings the furry tailed rats. ...Although I have shot a rat but that a different story.


Hey, Tim, come here, ...your girlfriend is very nice.
Thanks. I have a lot to do with that.


I didn't go to the real estate office this weekend so when I got off the subway, I had a message on my cell phone asking when I would be in.

After I deal with the squirrel issue.

the squirrel issue - about 36 inches of chewed up stuff

the issue being address by some guy with a gut

the sloppy fix but chew through that you furry bastard

I hope that bugger was out of the house.

So I clean off the roofing tar with paint thinner and receive a splitting headache, maybe because of the vapors, maybe a combination of things but a headache none the less. I grab my cell phone which has a habit of shutting off, like it was and there is another message waiting, another agent. Sheeeeit.

I get something to eat on the way to the real estate office so I don't pass out, I forget to get gasoline and I find out that I got some roofing tar on my jeans.

Other than that things are great, the headache is trying to make a comeback. I think I'm just going to finish the one important thing which is a market analysis and then leave. I have issues with how the information was left for me but I'm done complaining for now.

Oh yeah, for some reason I put the roofing tar in the basement, maybe I wanted a workout lugging a fifty pound bucket up to the roof.