There is some hope...

This is from Friday ...before the ...well you know, if you know. If you don't know, it don't matter.

Lady G drives a trolley, not very glamorous but the drivers get paid in sacks of money, and the benefits are prime.

I have the good fortune of getting on her light rail train today, I've missed seeing her, I haven't been making time for her but anyway, she's chatting up some old guy. I wait my turn. I sneak up from behind and ask who's that guy, with all the jealousy I can feign. She calls out to the old guy, Frank, lets him know that he made her boyfriend jealous. She greets me with the smile I fell in love with, her smile fills my world with hope.

She tells me stop sneaking up on her or I might get hurt. I worry she is only half joking, others have been stabbed. ...Charges dropped.

We have invites to get out so, I'll see her later.
...
My sister, the teacher, is doing these posters for the school and she needs photos of the kids. She isn't happy with the quality of the pics, she says she can't get the lighting right and the resolution is poor. She is using a camera whose heyday has past. So, I offer her my camera. The one I carry all the time. My camera has more bells and whistles than a rape prevention seminar for Santa's Reindeers, so getting a decent shot should be easier. And, now, I see these scenes I want to shoot but the scenes remain unshot.
...
So one of my problems is that I want to believe differently than I do, but I cannot justify changing my beliefs.