Monday, March 29, 2010

"It's like playing cards with my sister's kids"

My main issue with yesterday's inefficiencies was caused by the mere fact that we are not rookies at this stuff.


I was quite angry when I called to ask what format folks were looking for once I finally had all the elements.

"Well, what were you thinking."

"I wasn't thinking anything. I was waiting for people to tell me what they want."

"Well, like maybe a half sheet."

"How does a half sheet work?"

"You don't think a half sheet would work?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm asking how it would work. Is the photo on one side and text on the other? Is it all on one side? Is it folded?

"I'll ask some questions and be right over."

She wasn't right over and she played a dirty, dirty trick on me by sending in the Candidate up to my office. I was pissed but I my problems weren't with him so I had to swallow all of that hate. It went down slow.

After, about five minutes, she came up and had a seat. The Candidate was saying how he repeated about how he was impressed with what was being accomplished in such a short time and how appreciative he was.

"Well, that's what we do. We find a way," is how she replying in what I thought was an all too cavalier way.

I have issues.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

More complaints later

"Do you know Photoshop?"

"It depends on what you mean by know."

"Well, we like this one photo except for grandma so we want to take her head from one photo and use it in the one we like."

"That can be tricky."


"Yeah. Getting it right is not a small edit."

It ends up that I couldn't do it in Photoshop to the point that I liked it, but I did do it in CorelPaint. I know the Corel products pretty good.


I was running up and down the stairs because I was using the bypass tray on the printer because if I put cover stock in the drawer, it gets bent more than I like and it also jams the printer more. The trouble with the bypass tray is that it only take thirty sheets at a time. I needed 300 copies, for 1200 postcards.

I certainly had more challenging things to do but there was no one else around to put the paper in the machine.

As I was standing there, I got the request to swap heads on someone's Grandma, merge an Excel file for mailing labels and just about completely redo the organizational chart by adding no less than thirty five branches to the tree.

I flatly told the owner that someone should have managed my time better. I was kept waiting earlier and then I was feeding paper into a machine.

I would have just left the print job but people where waiting on it. Folks had to cut each sheet into fourths, and then label and stamp each quarter.

I've been here twelve hours straight and presently I'm waiting on someone to bring me a signature so that I can scan it and add it to a letter that was supposed to have been done yesterday and that I was supposed to have all the elements to by noon earlier today.

What bothers me is that these folks are pros at this shit. These folks are part of the reason I know as much as I know about getting shit done. These folks are better than this.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

That was noon today? Right?

I was told that I would have all the pieces by noon.

The owner's mom lives directly across the street from her daughter's office. She walked through the front door and you could tell that something was wrong. She’s renting her apartment to someone running for public office as a favor to her daughter; and every once in awhile she complains to me about.
Her problem this day was that she couldn’t get in her front door. She was convinced that her new tenant had done something wrong. I asked her for her key and started to worry about her state of mind while she search through her key ring for it. Before she handed it to me, she assured me that I was not going to be able to get in.

I told her, “You gotta have faith.” It was rainy and cold but I walked across the street without my coat because I felt it looked more confident. Before I got to the door I prayed a little that my door opening skill wouldn’t fail me.

It’s a two phase lock, which throws a deadbolt and turns a passage lock and they can be tricky but I did get in before she got across the street. We spoke for awhile in her hallway, about locks, supermarkets and her daughter. I always try to lend an ear to old people.

I didn’t get all the pieces by noon. I didn’t get any pieces by noon. What I did get was two other jobs. And then a promise of a third and a promise for all the pieces for the first job that I was supposed to do.
It’s politics.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I should probably put socks on

I'm just about to be out of half & half.

My former supervisor is getting crazier. It's to the point were people do not want to tell him useful but unpleasant information, so they tell it to me instead.

I was told that the big bosses were going to 'write him up' for just walking out of the office the day before. He did sign out and noted that he was taking two hours sick but he didn't tell anybody superior to him that he was doing such.

So, on the following day when he stood outside my cube and said, "That's it. I'm leaving. I'm had enough of this place. I'm taking the rest of the day sick." I felt I had to say something.

"Did you tell that guy?" I asked as I pointed to the bosses office.

"Fuck that guy!"

"Fine," I said with a shoulder shrug, "But the only reason I'm asking is because I've heard that him and him had a heated discussion yesterday about writing you up for just leaving the office without telling them."


"Yeah, and I'm not saying that you don't have a right to leave because there is nothing they can really do to you but you have to just tell them first."

He stood up and started walking to the boss's office as he said, "This is bullshit."

"Dick, just wait a minute, you can't just go in there and tell him any of what I just said because it was overheard and told to me from someone else. You aren't supposed to know about it and if you say something then someone else might get in trouble."

"I won't."

He then walked into the boss's office and said that his uncle was dying and that he was overstressed for the day and that he had to leave. His boss then said, "Well, if you have to leave then you have to leave."

He then walked passed my cube and informed me that he wasn't going home directly and then walked out of the office.

I looked at the clock. It was 11:45AM. I then looked at the paperwork in front of my keyboard. I can take lunch whenever I want as long as it's not that last hour of my work day but it was too early for me to leave for lunch and it was kind of important for me to get my paperwork done before I left for lunch. So, I finished my paperwork.

An hour later, I made it down to where he indicated that he would be and didn't see him sitting at the bar and I was just going to walk back out but I figured that I was just going to be there later if not now so I sat between to regulars.

I asked the guy to my left if he had seen Dick and he said that he hadn't but then the bartender walked over to me and said that Dick had told her to tell me that he was okay.

I smiled and thanked her for giving me the message.

Monday, March 08, 2010

There is a very good chance that my cookbook collection can kick your cookbook collection's ass

So, you may see, I have a problem.

And my problem isn't something dramatic like a amputation or something provocative like a split personality or something serious like cancer.

The problem I have is that if I'm emailed a coupon for 30% off or more from Borders Bookstore then I'm going to use it.

And you may be thinking, "What's the big effing deal? I use those coupons too," and I guess that I'll give you that, but I always want to get the most out of them so I but the most expensive book that I can find and that I can justify buying. Usually, it ends up being a cookbook, only, mostly because I'm afraid to look at the art books.

So, today I walked into Borders with my 30% off looked around and around and then picked up The Modern Cafe with a price tag of $65.00 which I got for $45.50 which I rounded up in my head to $50 after the buyer's remorse set in.

But I'm certain that it is a very good book. But I'm also certain that I shouldn't be blowing fifty bucks on cookbooks that I probably will not utilize.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010


He said he saw her and she was asking about me.

I haven't seen her in about a year. That last time we were talking to each other like normal friends would do and I fell in love with her a little bit because of it.


There are people in work that want to set me up in a relationship.

When I didn't seem too receptive, they asked if I wanted to be in a relationship.

I answered that I like relationships but relationships are a lot of work.

The guy in the room said "Amen to that."

Lately, I feel like a hobo with good hygiene.