Monday, December 31, 2018

If There Is Cheese, Then It Is Pizza.

I was explaining the type of breads that I was baking and I was interrupted.

"I have to stop you right there. If it has cheese, it is pizza. It is not focaccia."

I told him, "Hey, I am not going to disagree with you."

Saturday, December 29, 2018

The Rise

I bake bread.

I bake a variety of different types but it is mostly sourdough that I bake which at it simplest definition means that I do not use commercial yeast.

Using naturally occurring yeast means timing is an issue, a twelve hour wait is not uncommon. It can be a three day affair between feeding the starter and waiting for the rises, then shaping and baking the dough. It is tough to commit to baking a loaf of bread for tomorrow when I have no interest in dealing with it today. But the thing of it is: I don't know what my mental state will be tomorrow, maybe I will want bread then but I won't be able bake any because I didn't do anything today. So my shitty attitude today is going to directly affect my attitude tomorrow.

I have started loaves that I had no desire to finish but it is almost easier just to bake the loaf than to toss it into the compost heap and then have the city wildlife traipse it all over the place.

I irritate myself a lot.

The preparation, the rise, the baking are all functions of time. Each alarm goes off and I am reminded that I am just wasting my life away but I do end up with a pretty good loaf of bread.

Friday, December 28, 2018

Forks go on the left

If you don't wash the dishes today then you might not be able to set the table tomorrow

Thursday, December 27, 2018

It is Just a Pot of Meatballs

It is just a pot of meatballs but I will take it as a victory.

Saturday, December 01, 2018

The First Rule of Fight Club...

Monday night I was made an honorary member.

There were three dreams from that night that I remember: 
Dream 1, someone asked me if I was all right. I said, "I'll be fine." He said, "There is a lot of blood." I believe that I just shrugged my shoulders.
Dream 2, the taste of blood. I was reminded that the blood of human's tastes like rust.
Dream 3, My dad was driving, my 2 year old niece was troubled by something only she wasn't my niece she was now my sister, which is odd but then my dad died over twenty years ago. Those are dreams for you. I asked the other occupants in the vehicle what was troubling her. She answered for herself. She said that most likely that her mother had died earlier that day. I turned to my father and asked if it were true. He said that it was but that he hadn't told anyone yet. I wondered why the two year old knew something sooner than I did.

I don't know what that last dream was about, maybe it is that a two year old can handle difficult things better than I care to do. Or maybe that I am not paying attention to important things

That second dream came about from the hole on the inside of upper lip which matched up perfectly to the bottom on my right front tooth. Coincidentally, it was not the first time that hole had appeared. The first time, happened when I was eight. I was ball with my friends and I took off running with my head down and my lip and someone's head met. I was knocked out and woke up with a mouth of blood and the sister of one of my friends was holding a wash cloth to my mouth.

I am guessing dream number one was actually the memory of a drunk.

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

I guess I am arrogant

I pretty much think I can do anything so even though society like to tell people they can be whatever they want to be, it is kind of an arrogant attitude

Friday, December 22, 2017


“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” -- Thomas Edison

I don't know if Tom actually said that or not but it illustrates a point.

I often don't like people watching me work.

I often don't like people watching me work because sometimes my efforts do not produce the results that are desired.

I often don't like people watching me work because sometimes my efforts do not produce the results that are desired and people will then ask, "You don't know, do you?".

often don't like people watching me work because sometimes my efforts do not produce the results that are desired and people will then ask, "You don't know, do you?", and often it is times when I am trying to help them out. 

No, I don't actually know, motherfucker, but I am learning.

I know things, I know what is possible. I just don't always know the most direct path to get there so sometimes there are some wrong turns but I just found out one of the ways not to go, so I am one step closer.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016


Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Dear Gennifer,

I was riding home on the subway, it wasn't too crowded so I was able to get a seat, and I remember thinking: today was a good day.

This morning, before work, I was able to finish a small project that I had put of the night before and was still able to leave the house on time. When I got into work, I took a quick look at the news online and read a story about a local multi million dollar business that was started by two brothers whose mother had a tradition of when they were sitting at the dinner table, of having them tell something good that happened to them that day.

It reminded me that I should focus more on the good than on what might not be so good. I think for most people it is easy to almost forget about the good. The good is a gift, it requires no thought to receive it but when you receive the not-so-good, you want to change it, or deal with it or get rid of it so you tend to focus on it when a lot of the time, you can just accept it and then simply move on, without wasting any energy on it. I need to do more of that instead of cultivating bad thoughts.

I was able to get through some paperwork and even solve a couple last minute problems. The phone seemed to ring constantly and even though five other people can pick up that phone line, they seemed more than willing to let me pick up the calls. Sometimes, it bothers me that they don't pick up the calls but I like to think at least they get somewhat educated when they hear me on the phone. I have been there the longest, so there is not much I haven't heard before.

I often catch my coworkers using my phrases when dealing with other people.

I am kind of awesome.

I had to have the big boss sign something yesterday and usually I will just leave it in her inbox but sometimes she will sign it right away if she is there and when I walked it with it, that is what she did . I said, "it just the same as last year" as she held out her hand.

A lot of the stuff I deal with is just repeated from year to year.

I watched as she signed it and after she wrote her first name she said, "Everyone was saying what a great help you were over the weekend," which catch me off guard because I had forgotten that some events took place over the weekend. I said, "Well, thank you. I try my best but it is not just me, it's Donnie and Mike and the Sign Shop. And thanks for your support, that helps a lot." It was a little bit gratuitous but it was also true. I am pretty much left alone, I am allowed to make decisions on my own and I don't screw too many things up.

I believe that you should do good work just for your own benefit but it is also nice to hear it from your boss's boss.

I have some cooking to do but I baked two loaves of bread yesterday, so I feel that I am ahead of the game.

It was nice hearing from you earlier.

I hope that your day went well too.


Thursday, July 21, 2016

I shut that one off too.

By chance I ended up reading some blogs. I used to read a few blogs. I used to write a blog.

The writers who write to clear some head space are the ones that can still tell a story.

"You should open a bakery."

"You should start a design company"

"You should sell your belts"

I think once you take money for your "art" it changes you. Or more precisely, once you do you art for the money, it changes your art.

I much rather keep my home baked loaves of ciabatta bread special.


I have the day off from work.

I have no real plans.

I first alarm went off like it always does so I shut it off and waited for the second alarm to shut that one off too.

I think I will fry an egg.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

He was always there in the corner

It has been in the house for over thirteen years. I know that because my oldest niece is 13 and the turtle was around before her.

My friend wanted to get rid of it. She had bought it for a couple dollars on the streets of New York. It was cute and small, about the size of a silver dollar. She gave it to her kids and it was named Money.

Money grew bigger and unwanted, I took him.

He would splash around every time the cats were feed because he knew he would be fed as well.

Last year when I went camping, I took him with me.

I just gave Money away. He has been gone for five hours and the house is different without him.

Nobody can tell a story anymore

Nobody can tell a story anymore.

Well not actually nobody, just nobody that writes for tv.

There was actually a story to go with those photos but then the phone ran.

It wasn't a great story but there are bee lavea in those tubes and in some of those photos, you can see a bee.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

The Work is Paper

Mostly a piece of paper comes in, and from that paper I generate other papers and then I send those papers away.

My papers are slightly powerful. My papers get people to do things. My papers make things happen.

But I don't get to really see those things happen. I just see paper and sometimes I wonder what the point of it all is.

First World problems.

Which is why I like chopping wood.

Monday, January 25, 2016

That is my crutch

The bar was crowded, just one available seat in the corner. It is not my favorite seat.
The guy sitting next to the empty seat was a stranger to me, unlike the four guys sitting next to him.
I asked the guy if I could sit in the chair next to him. Before he could answer the bartender already had my drink in front of the chair.
He said, "That's my crutch," as he pointed at a crutch next to me leaning against the wall.
I pointed at my pint glass and said, "This is my crutch." 

It would have been a more cleaver statement if there was something other than ginger ale in the glass.

Monday, September 28, 2015

The Green Mountain State

I was there for eight days and then for nine.

Both times I wrote.

There is still no electricity and still no cellphone service.

Both times the world continued just fine without me.