The Rise

I bake bread.

I bake a variety of different types but it is mostly sourdough that I bake which at it simplest definition means that I do not use commercial yeast.

Using naturally occurring yeast means timing is an issue, a twelve hour wait is not uncommon. It can be a three day affair between feeding the starter and waiting for the rises, then shaping and baking the dough. It is tough to commit to baking a loaf of bread for tomorrow when I have no interest in dealing with it today. But the thing of it is: I don't know what my mental state will be tomorrow, maybe I will want bread then but I won't be able bake any because I didn't do anything today. So my shitty attitude today is going to directly affect my attitude tomorrow.

I have started loaves that I had no desire to finish but it is almost easier just to bake the loaf than to toss it into the compost heap and then have the city wildlife traipse it all over the place.

I irritate myself a lot.

The preparation, the rise, the baking are all functions of time. Each alarm goes off and I am reminded that I am just wasting my life away but I do end up with a pretty good loaf of bread.