Friday, July 30, 2004


A week away from the day job begins now.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

cool the way...

Sometimes I just exist, just occupy this space with flesh and guilt.

Today I got a message, a message that had an effect but I cannot seem to wrap words around it. To me the message is noteworthy, not only for the words themselves but for their placement.

So here it is duly noted.

ps: thank you for existing. it's really cool, the way you do that.


Existing, it's really cool.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004


He was never politically active, he would usually vote but I don’t think he donated time or money to any political cause. He got involved with the election because I was involved, we had worked some charity events together. We were friends. He had skills that I didn’t have and the cause was in need of those skills. Most of all he could be trusted. He was self employed at the time which meant his schedule was flexible.

We won the primary, so it was down to two candidates. There were many giving what they could spare of their time, and then there were about a dozen of us going full out, on average, the days were 18 to 20 hours long, maybe even longer towards the end. Most of us only went home to shower and change clothes as well as catch any moments of sleep we could, there would be days we wouldn’t make it home at all.

He was there because I asked him to be. He worked at least as hard as the rest of us, sometimes even harder. His reward, his would be no reward, he would refuse any government job offered him, if one would be offered. He gave more time and effort than he should have, he lost clients and couldn’t get any new ones because his time was spent on the election. He became irreplaceable and he knew it and I believe that is what caused him the most trouble. His sense of loyalty forbade him to quit.

We didn’t win the election. In this town once you lose one you have pretty much lost them all. There would be no rematch.

We don’t talk or hang out like we had in the past. His friendship with me cost him a lot. He survived, mostly but it seems a piece of him died. I still do my little charitable events but I don’t ask him to help anymore. I’ve taken too much from him already.


Goofing about until 3:30AM when you have to be in work at 8:00AM probably is not the smartest thing to do.

I hate it when my evil plans finally work out and then I feel bad for my victims.
What’s up with that?

Someone googled "free don cheadle's desktop pictures" and an old post of mine is at the top of the list. Back then the page was entitled "flat rate with a riptide soul", that cracks me up. I wrote it and I don’t even know what it means for sure.


The notches on my gun number one and nineteen more.

Tim, Please go home it's 2:57AM.

When I don't have much to do, it always takes me the longest.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

This cracks me up...

That's my two year old neice. I took her computer shopping and when I unloaded the cart. I looked at her and said that she had to return the cart to the store.

She could get the thing moving but her steering was a little off. She looks so tiny in this picture.

At the bar, which was overstaffed due to the expectation that the Dee eN Cee would bring an influx of new patrons, the barkeeps were talking about plastic surgery. Boobs jobs is the phase that caught my attention. One of the keeps that has had the procedure was talking to the another keep that wants to get the procedure. Somehow, me and my buddy got involved in one side of the conversation. My buddy was a bit ahead of me in the blood to alcohol ratio, so he's having just a little bit of a problem following the conversation. When my buddy does find out what's going on he says, rather loudly, right in my face,

"What?! Who?! She has very nice breasts and should change a thing!"

"I agree" I agreed. It's not at my suggestion that she's getting this done.

"She shouldn't have it done! You should tell her." again right in my face.

"I know, she shouldn’t have them done but I don’t think it’s my place to say anything."

The one that wants them done hasn’t actually addressed either me or my buddy so I am not certain she wants the whole bar in the conversation or not and I don’t really know her like I know the others, so I hold my tongue.

How do you politely say "Nice breasts" without looking like a dog? or am I being over sensitive?

Monday, July 26, 2004


One of the things that bothers me is when people in the office just start hollering out your name instead of walking over to you. Unless you're stuck where you are you should take the walk, is what I think.

Sometimes, I'm on the phone and just cannot start hollering back at you.
The electricity went out last night so I went to the front porch and smoked a cigar and watched the police kick the kids out of the park. I have a cigar about twice a year. I noticed that the police confiscated something but I couldn't make it out. From the weight and size it had the appearance of a case of beer, half empty, but I'm sure the police found it to be half full.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Are you trying to get me angry?

I get to the second job and I’m asked to do up some document, some document I created the layout for and set up the office computer with, and I’m told the aforementioned document can be found in Word and in Properties, the person telling me this doesn’t know jack about computers or computer related things, such as application like Word and sub-directories named Properties.

But you know, I just kept quiet.

I believe this person to be a lost cause.

She asked my twice how I was doing. In the same exchange

Sometimes I just want to make her cry.

I got that funny feeling in my pants.

The feeling was my cell phone vibrating. It's vibrates then it rings. I was mowing the lawn. I was just about finished. It was the owner, she has been having TV trouble, trouble she tried to have me address but the trouble was beyond my scope. Her mission today - get a new TV. She drives a Mercedes, the e series, big for a Mercedes but not big enough for a large TV. I drive a truck, a Dodge Dakota, small for a truck but big enough for a TV. I tell he to call me once she finds one.

I got the second call will I was under the hedges. I was trying to make the left side ones match the right side ones. I cut the right side ones two weeks ago. The call said she found one at COSTCO's, I said I would head out right away. I met her at the warehouse-type store and we walk over to the TV's, she has narrowed down the choice to two, a 25in and a 27in both have a built-in VCR and DVD (which I hate but that's a different post). The TV is for her bedroom, her bedroom is huge even with a king size bed in it. I say get the 27in and she does, well she agrees to buy it. After she decided, she continued shopping. I went to get a flat bed cart to haul the thing away. The box clearly states that two people should lift the box but there is just me. I make do. I get the TV to her house, cut it out of the box and bring it to her second story bedroom and bring the defective 25in set to the vestibule and leave it for trash day.

There was this cartoon series with Hercules as the main character and the theme song said he had the strength of ten ordinary men. All I want is to be acknowledged as having the strength of two ordinary men, after all, the box said two people should lift it.

Friday, July 23, 2004

I swear it is crooked.

They put a new sign outside my office and I swear it is crooked. I've been walking by it for two days and it's crookedness bothers me.

But the thing is I don't know for certain that it is crooked. So today I measured it. Over the three foot length of the sign it dips an eighth of an inch on the right.

Now I can sleep at night.

A friend said he could bring in his level to make certain it's the sign and not the floor or the ceiling that might be crooked.


It sneaks up on you like extra pounds after a lazy week.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

This week

This whole week so far has seemed like I was a day ahead. I’ve been thinking it’s Wednesday when it’s only Tuesday and so forth. It really hasn’t caused any problems other then I’ll have one more day to work this week than I was thinking.
If that makes any sense.

I was told yesterday I could work four hours of overtime a day next week. I said I’ll think about it.

It seems everyone clamors for overtime and cannot get it. I get offered it and do not want it.

I actually stayed late on last Friday and this past Wednesday and haven’t put in for it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Mouse, Mouse, Mice

Mice disposal.

That's one of my jobs.

Well, not a job more of a favor I'll do for friends.

I had an eleven year old tell me I'm a baby mouse killer.

I guess I am.

Yummy, Yummy Booze...

The last word I said was booze, so the two year old niece said "Booze" which I thought was funny.

Sending a two year old home saying "Booze" is funny to me.

It’s funny, so I had her say it to her aunt but this time she pointed at me and said "Booze" to which my sister added "Yes, that’s right".

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Will you please do some work....

So you can go home.

Please get my message...

"The bank would not accept that check for the apartment deposit. The best I could tell is because it was dated for September 16" I said.
"For September?"
"Yeah, September. I have it upstairs. I'll get it if you want?"
"Yeah. September's the ninth. Isn't it?" I went to get the check. "Here, you go"
"September. Why did she do that? Can we just change the date?"
"I cannot change the date but if the date gets changed and I don't know anything about it. I won't say anything"
"So, its alright if I change the date?"
There are clients sitting right in the office. I'm trying to be a little bit discrete.
"I disavow any knowledge of any date changing" I stepped outside to check my voicemail because I have trouble getting a signal in the office. I return and I'm handed a check dated July something. The seven is big and thick, like it used to be a nine.
Thank you. 
I do my best to be honest, even with the silly little things. I'll change the date on a check if I have permission from the person who wrote the check and no one else. But, if you want to go changing the date on a check, go ahead just don't do it in front of me.
I don't write checks for myself either even though I can.

Monday, July 19, 2004

It's like a dull hum.

Someone ate all my Twix, yesterday. They picked through the variety and left the wrappers on the floor in various places.
My focus is nonexistent.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

I'm not sure why...

I don't know why I shaved the goatee off. I think I look better with it.
Maybe I just wanted a change.
I hacked at the hedges that are in front of the house, almost made them into shrubs.
Maybe, I was taking the whole pruning thing too far.

I like surprises...

I have pictures but it looks like my battery doesn’t have enough juice left to transfer them to my computer so I’ll most likely forget about them and be surprised later.
actually I don't like surprises. 

The goatee...

gone at 5:30PM

Saturday, July 17, 2004

There were these four guys at the bar, some were sitting some, were standing, all friends with each other, it seemed. The barkeep was familiar with them all and joined the conversation occasionally.
One guy that was standing got a surprised look on his face and then quickly reached into his pant pocket. He reached into his pocket like an old guy would be reaching for his heart pills when he gets that “feeling”. He pulled out a cell phone and it rang once. It must have been on vibrate.
“Hello” the standing guy said
“Where are you at? The bar?”
“I prefer to call it ‘my lunch place’ until I’m off of work, then it’s the bar”
“Where is it?”
“The end of Main Street, where it hits Elm Street. The part of Main that no body thinks is still Main”
“I’ll be there”
The standing guy then rejoined the conversation.
A moment later the standing guy got another call. It seemed that more precise directions were needed and more precise directions were supplied.
A moment after that some hot chick walked in and said “So, this is were you’re at?.”
She was introduced to the rest of the guys. She said she was downtown to do some shopping. She was asked if came by to get some money. She replied “I have money and he can ask for money whenever he wants it.” The standing guy replied “I ask for other things and don’t get them.” The barkeep then said “You guys are bad” and went to another conversation at another end of the bar.

 The hot chick just came by to say hi and asked if she could get a ride to the airport the next day.  Which I think she did.

Friday, July 16, 2004


"When you sober up can you come change my tire?"
"I can do it now" and I did.
I was spied changing Lady G's tire by at least two of her friends/neighbors. Yeah, I appear to be whipped.

This isn't business casual?!

Today is crazy Hawaiian shirt day.

This is the second such day, although the first was kinda on accident. The department will probably receive a memo stating that Hawaiian shirts are not to be worn because although you can come to work stoned and you can steal money from the public, wearing Hawaiian shirts causes just too much trouble.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Does that make any sense to you?

At the bar I make room for some new guys because I'm a peach and both seem like geeky losers but I hold off on the judging until I'm certain. The fat one starts chatting up the attractive barkeeps. He sounds like he's full of boloney but I hold off the judging until I'm certain. So, he starts talking about the homeless people on the benches, he's told that there are about four of them there every day. He says "Yeah, that guy there said to me 'Lick my ass for a dollar'".
I know that homeless man, his gimmick is that he will let you kick his ass for a dollar. He says "Kick my ass for a dollar".  Who would lick his ass? That's just as stupid as it is gross.
Fatty you need to think before you speak. The conversation changed too fast for me to correct Fatty. I had too much of a hard time comprehending "Lick my ass for a dollar" even though it's only one sequential letter away from "Kick my ass for a dollar".
I think he underselling the ass kicking.

So, what's the big deal?

What's the big deal with the colored text? You have colored text right over there to the right.
Yeah, you're right. I guess it's not a really big deal. But now I only have to select and click for a color instead of writing code.

Hey! Green Catfish! Lighten up.

Wow colored text!...

I'm tired of the mediocre.
But, not tired enough to do something about it. Not yet. 
Am I speaking Greek all of a sudden?
When I mention a famous street right outside of the office, I kinda expect that you will recognize the sound of it. Especially when you point in that particular direction and ask a question about said famous street. 
I feel better now. I went to the bank to deposit money and on the way back I bought a boat load of candy. 
"What are you doing, later?"
"I don't know. I'll probably take a trip down the street."
"What time?"
"About 1:30, which is my usual time."
"Okay, I'll see you there."
It's 12:30 right now and I'm having a hard time waiting.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

You like pigs?!..

They’re talking in the hallway by the elevators. They being a co-worker and someone from a different department across the hall. Both are women.

The co-worker tells the other, “That’s Tim, he has a pig” as I walk by. The other is Millie, Millie is one of the hottest women in the whole building. I’ve been told that she has dated pro ball players. She’s of such a style that it can be true. I’m not certain I like Millie being in the know about the pig but it’s true so there is not much I can do. Millie asks if I have a picture and can she see it. I knew I had a picture so I say sure. I searched my computer for a jpg but could not find one of the pig but I did have a real photo which I didn’t feel right in just walking into her office, so I held off.

Last night I was goofing off and started doing things with photos and remembered I owed Millie a photo and found one of the pig and emailed it to myself so I would have access to it a work. I’m always emailing myself stuff, it’s easier than finding a disk or what not.

The deal with Millie is, she hot so she has a lot of guys getting in her space, I try to stay out of her space, I say “hi” from a distance. I play it cool.

I sent Millie the photo today and she said I made her day and she asked some questions and I answered them and sent her another photo of the rabbit hanging out with one of the cats. She said her family has a farm in Costa Rica and that they have lots of pigs, only their pigs are huge.

She seemed like she wouldn’t care much for pigs in the house but she thought it was cool. She’s hotter than I thought.


“You must meet a lot of people doing the things you do”

The inflection of the people indicated that the people are ‘important’.

“Yeah, but I try to keep a low profile because once people find out that you can do things, they ask you to do things”

Then you’re doing stuff all over the place.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

What a ham for the camera...

He ruined the spring mechanism

Yeah, I can think of a quite a few things better too...

Is there anything better than free shots?

So, I'm at the place with the guys doing the regular thing. I'm a pint behind the other two of us and I stop at three. I'm asked by the regular barkeep "Why do you always stop first?". "I got things to do" was my reply, second job and all. So, I'm without drink waiting for the others to finish and we, the barkeep included, started talking about shots. Some of us haven't tried the certain shots mentioned so the barkeep splits a shot between the three of us. And then again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

Shots tasted: Carmel apple, Fudgicle, vanilla cake, chocolate cake, cheese cake, fruity pebbles and oatmeal cookie. All good.

Jennifer rules.


“You have a hole in your heart” the doctor said
“But it’s treatable” he added
“What would cause a hole in my heart?” I asked
“I think you know” he said

I do know.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Can the oneways...

Can the one ways

Bigger on the T stops

Bigger on the Tourist Attractions

Yeah, I got the call to work late on a special project. I would be in big trouble if I had three pints at lunch.

…I guess there could be a little drinky drinky problem ..but it’s all good …at the moment.
The vibe I get.

It’s probably just me.

You’re tired of being the fastest gun around.

The look in your eye:

“Do if you dare but I’ve seen it before.”

I don’t think I’m anything special but I do think I’m the fastest gun around …in some arenas.

I’ve always have been, so I think. There are times when someone is a little quicker on some particular day but over all, I’m the fastest I’ve seen.

I wait for someone faster.

I’ve even gotten out of shape, slowed myself down to give people a chance but still, I’m the fastest without trying hard.

I wish I had some competition, a reason to be better but when you think you’re better than your peers, it is hard to self motivate. My problem - I’m okay with being just better than the next guy instead of being the best I can be.

My shortcomings in syntax and spelling and story telling and living and what have you I don’t care enough to fix. I don’t see the point. I’m good enough to get by.

I’m not very good at being a good person.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

It was down to me and him, then just him...

I think I lost about twenty bucks at poker. It was a good time.

I ended up bringing beer, pistachios, watermelon and the all the makings for whiskey sours (whiskey, sour mix, cherries, orange slices).

I only had two beers and two whisky sours from three thirty until midnight, well actually until ten that’s when I stopped drinking. Not a big drinking day. The whiskey sours may have been doubles.

Friday, July 09, 2004


Poker Saturday.

I usually bring something homemade, usually I get welcoming comments inspired by my self made fare. This time however, I’m uninspired, I have no ideas and a lack of cares. (if you say that with a Boston accent it rhymes, sort of)

I’m asked what will I be bringing. “Beers” is the answer to which I add “Pistachios”. I always bring beer, enough for me, enough to share and enough to leave some for the house, it works out to be about a case and a half, all bottles. I don’t like drinking from cans.

I’ll bring my clay poker chips, too, because clay chips rule. The 11.5 ounce kind.

Because I’m lame I’m thinking of custom t-shirts with P-O-K-E-R run down the back, each letter in it’s own circle, like a spine. I'm on a spine design kick. The back of the 'Dragons' tee looks sweet. I’m having trouble thinking up what goes on front. I’ll have to decide soon or maybe I give the tees out after the fact.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Am I at the bar too much?

We’re there at the bar and one of the hot chick off duty barkeeps comes in with a boyfriend in tow. She’s standing next to me talking to the hot chick barkeep on duty and starts to say that she hasn’t showered for two days. I heard the “I haven’t showered” part but then she looks at me, I’m looking elsewhere, and then holds up two fingers and mouths the words two days. She does the mime part in what she thinks is out of my view but it wasn’t. After the off duty barkeep leaves, the on duty barkeep says that she who just left hasn’t showered for two days and has ‘slept out’ the last two nights.

Most in the know were wondering why the lack of hygiene was something that she felt necessary to share.

I still don’t get it.

Her hotness cooled a bit.

I'm asked to fix things...

Friday while I was at the bar I received a call from Little g, she had some doll emergency. Both the legs of her favorite doll had come off. I didn't know it at the time but sometimes she pretends that the doll is real. When I got there she had the 'baby' covered with a small blanket because she that the doll was going to die.

After a while I did get the legs back on. The doll recovered fully.

Saturday I recieved a call from the owner of the second job, she needed the business numbers so I delivered and I recieved a second request. The second request - repair a doll house. The doll house in question is over four feet tall by about three feet wide. It had fallen apart when it was brought upto the second floor and also because it is poorly made. About half of the joints failed, the sparce glue could stand the strain of the move up stairs. I had no glue. I had no clamping devices so I would have to come back. I chose to return on Sunday. So much for staying away on the Fourth.

After a while I did get the house back together. The doll house recovered fully.

One of my poker buddies wasn't too impressed with my Holiday Weekend outcome.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

It was sparse at the bar...

It was sparse, when I got there, so I'm just chatting with one of the regular barkeeps, our favorite. She has to make some drinks but I'm right where she makes them so I continue the conversation. She's making some frozen drink that looks like a pina colada but its in a 16oz tumbler so I don't know what it is and I don't bother to ask but it gets topped off with whipped cream.

The whipped cream shots off to the side a bit and I said "I thought you would be better with the whipped cream" she tries to demonstrate that it was the dispenser's fault for the mishap but all she gets is a smooth stream of cream, then her eyes get wide because she got the innuendo. She asked "Well, do you have any suggestions on a better way to use the whipped cream?" I told her I did but I would have to show her because it is hard to verbalize.

My buddy just shook his head because he couldn't believe I said something like that to our favorite barkeep.