from the 20th

So

I've got nothing. I'm a pathetic loser with nothing going on and I just want to disappear.

That's actually not true despite that my routine posts do not belie that statement.

Losers don't use words like belie.


Or gainsay.


I've degraded, or so I think. The trouble is: I think that I can always turn it back on. Whatever 'it' was.

...

I was assaulted with holy water today. She came by saying that she was continuing her tradition and wiped her whetted fingers over my forehead, without even asking.

That is not proper. Nor is it Christian. And I don't consider it a blessing. That water is no holier than the stuff that shoots out of my water through the door refrigerator, if I were to pray over that.