I'm my own trophy wife

The latest is that I'm cooking on cast iron every chance I get.

Actually, that's not entirely true; I'm grilling every chance I get because I don't want run the oven because I don't want to heat up the house. But when I need to fry something (or grill something indoors), I'll use something made of cast iron.

Aren't I great?

Mayonnaise.

I was sort of talking to Melissa about mayonnaise. I read that she wanted to make her own and so before I made my way to the bar to buy a beer for someone whose 98 year old mother had just died. I sent her an email.

I made mayonnaise once. It was New Year Day and I had made plans for making breakfast but I did drag my ass out of bed early enough to cook breakfast so I decided to make BLT's but it turned out that I was out of mayonnaise.

I drove around town trying to find a store that was open but I found none but I remembered that in one of my cookbooks there was a recipe for making mayonnaise. I found it in "The Complete Book of Poultry" or some similar titled book and got to crack-a-lacking on making my own version of the condiment.

I got bored with writing this so I used the word/phrase crack-a-lacking.

Anyway, I set out all the ingredients and reached down the food processor and started following the instructions and things went splendidly until right before I was about to drizzle in that last bit of oil. I thought, "Man, that's a whole lot of oil," and it was revealed to me that mayonnaise is mostly some type of oil.

I used the mayo, on my sandwich and I was pleased with my results. It was mighty fine mayonnaise but I was still bothered by the fact that mayonnaise has a very high percentage of oil in it. I no longer wondered why folks try to get other folks to cut down on their use of mayonnaise.

I couldn't eat mayonnaise for two months afterward. Maybe, even three.

Presently, I use straight mayonnaise as a dip for when I'm snacking on sticks of butter.

I guess that last line was uncalled for and a little bit mean for me to write for you to read. I apologize.