Memorial Day weekend plus Tuesday

It has probably been over a decade since this room has had a ceiling.

On top of the bookshelf with all the cookbooks

The cats are limited to two rooms at the moment and this is one of the only places where they can get direct sunlight.

Monday

The new copier seems great but when the office is quiet you can hear every beep; and it beeps a lot.

…

My patience seems to be gone.

…

I wanted mason jars and was having trouble finding them so I went to the supermarket where I had seen them last. It was about five o’clock in the evening.

There was an area by the front of the store that looked like a small tornado hit and I noticed a couple of Mothers’ Day things about. Also about were a couple of people waiting for what turned out to be balloons and flowers which were brought out from some back room.

In my head, I ridiculed all of those people who had forgotten about Mothers’ Day; even though I sometimes forget what the present day is.

…

I brought my lunch with me today. I figure that it will save money and also make it easier to eat better and also to eat less. I have a hard time remember that I do not need to “clean my plate” and that paying for and leaving food that will be throw away is not as bad as overeating.

I am trying to pay more attention to a few things.

I rolled a slice of Black Forest Ham, Genoa Salami, and Harvarti Cheese into two leaves of Romaine Lettuce along with a little bit of red onion in the middle. I also have carrots and a dill pickle.

…

We celebrated Mothers’ Day a week earlier because we did not want to deal with the unnecessary drama of Mothers’ Day on Mothers’ Day but we did also do a little something on Mothers’ Day just because mothers can be strange sometimes.

Wednesday

I don't remember the last time that I was that angry.

I wanted everyone to shut up. Their voices seemed to be driving me crazy. My iTunes were also making me angry, I hated every sound coming from the computer speakers.

I tried to take a mental step backwards; the situation taking place should not have been enough to cause me any concern but yet I was as angry as I have ever been. I was in the office so I really couldn't tell everyone to shut the fuck up which caused me some frustration which then caused a strong desire to escape the area.

I leave my desk frequently, I get coffees, make copies, ask questions of people in other offices, go to Staples and other do other things that get me away from my desk but at that exact moment, I had no place to go and for some reason I was refusing to be driven from my desk.

My anger subsided even though the noise of the office didn't.

I then started checking dates for when I could take a vacation.

Next

The meeting was scheduled for 1PM to 5PM. My work day is from 8AM to 4PM.

A contract was being negotiated.

Every time the other side would leave, I would think about how much I didn't want to be there. My mind would wander to things I should be doing, things that have been holding me back. Things that have been causing my life to stagnate.

I wondered if "stepping up" was a mistake. I tried to reconcile my expectations of others and those of myself. I think more people should step up and do things but if I do not step up in certain ways then how can I expect other to step up? I thought more people should get involved in the union, even though I am not a huge fan of labor unions. The union is there, it is a closed shopped, if you have to exist in it, you should try to make sure it works to the collective benefit of the membership.

It was that thinking that caused me to run for office. It wasn't much of a run, there was just one nominee, just like most every other election where the 'leaders' end up pleading with folks to fill the offices.

I fell into vice president. I figured that it would be easy and it was until the president quit. I still hold it against him somewhat. But "people need to step up" was still my stated belief.

I watched the time change from my normal work day into my free time. I watched the time go past the end of average work day, the scheduled end of the meeting, and further into the evening. I watched the time go past other unclassified periods and then I started to worry about whether or not the public transit system would still be running when we finally would get to leave.

Progress was slow and stopped on occasion. I entertained the thought of quitting, just to be finished for the day but someone would always start things back up.

We ended up with an agreement that some people hated. I thought the agreement was livable, probably fair and maybe in some instances approaching good.

I signed the line some time after 9:30PM and I was glad to be done with that portion of it.

I would say that it is down hill from here but it is really more of a plateau but I can at least see where the downward slope begins, and once I reach the valley, I will soon be done. And then I can focus more on me and those things.



I wonder how you are.

Internet is in and out

The Internet connection is in and out more than usual today but then my thoughts are more out than in today.

my nerves seem to be bare today.

I want everyone to shut up.