Call your mom. I want to kiss her.

I was angry. I had been angry for days. I had plans for revenge. But the thing of it is: I didn't know exactly who I was made at, I knew the guy causing the problem but I didn't know if he was just the messenger or there was someone else involved.

It is very frustrating having plans for revenge and then having to shelf them.

I figured that I would quench my anger with lunch and beer and headed down to my spot. I don't go to that spot much anymore during the day.

I was greeted warmly. I always like to be greeted by name and a smile because it makes me look like a big shot even if it is only in front of a bunch of other losers.

I chose a corner seat. There was a regular to my right and someone I didn't know to his right. The guy I didn't know was a little off his rocker. He was stoat, wore a woolen hat and a large scab on the side of his face. He said he was fifty years old. After awhile he told me his name was John. He had a VA card as I.D..

John told me Cuba is full of devil worshipers and they are all cannibals. I said, 'Surely not everyone in Cuba is a cannibal. There are some nice people in Cuba."

"No. They are all cannibals."

"They can't be all cannibals because then none of them would be left."

"No. They are smart about it and choose the ones to eat and Obama wants to bring them here and also give then food and stuff."

"Well, maybe if they get good food then they don't have to eat each other."

People at the bar laughed after I said that which caused me almost to laugh but there are two things I know: do not laugh at a crazy person and do not laugh at a drunk which also mean do not laugh at a crazy drunk.

He ended up taking to the bartender who is an attractive 21 year old women. He asked her if she had a mother, then he asked her to call her mom and ask her if he could kiss her.

"You want to kiss my mom?"

"Yes."

"I don't think she would like that."

I did't think she would like it either.

He was asked to leave after the third time he asked if they watered down the booze.

When he walked out, the bartender and the manager both looked at me with judgement.

I said, 'Surely, you get crazy people in here even when I don't show up."

"Yeah, I guess we do but when you are here they always seem to sit near you."

...

There are reasons that I talk to crazy people at the bar. One reason is that it distracts them from talking to the bartender. I go there to take a break from my day, so I figure that while I am there I will try to give the bartenders a break from part of their day. Another reason is that you can better gauge the sanity and sobriety of someone when they are talking. My conversations have gotten a lot of people shut off.