Columbus Day

There is a broom in the basement whose main purpose is to knock down cobwebs.

To do one thing I had to do three other things.

Each step I am behind takes four steps to accomplish.

Saturday

Saturday

October 6, 2012

There was a Friday post but it was short and short lived.

Friday's post was mostly reminding me that it was Friday the 5th and then when I went about my business I dated a memo the 4th. I was told that a helper raccoon would fix that problem but I am also told that raccoon to date are a non unionized workforce and I work in a closed shop. I guess the raccoon could be hired as a consultant.

I left most of my electronic devices at home along with my messenger back and my jacket. The forecast was for 78 degrees as a high and a gathering of co-workers at a bar.

I didn't feel like going out after work but sometimes it is important to actually demonstrate that you are part of a group. There was this one guy going who usually doesn't go so I felt a little obligated to attend.

The place was too loud and eventually got too crowded.

I was reminded why I like to drink alone.

Saturday

My back ached a little less than usual is what I noticed when I realized that I was awake at 3AM.

I was in and out of sleep until I rolled out of bed right before 8AM.

I feed the cats, didn't feed the turtle and replenished the water in the pot by the sink that has the bamboo in it. The cats like to drink from the pot with the bamboo, which is better than drinking from the toilet.

I made an egg, ham and cheese sandwich on a toasted English muffin. I thought about the one egg and one slice of cheese and the one piece of ham and thought it was pretty good for portion control. Otherwise, I might have had a three egg omelette with peppers and onions, ham and cheese with a side of toast.

I then made some coffee grabbed my house keys and stepped out to the deck. That is where I am now. It is probably about sixty degrees. It is the Fall. I will not get too many more chances to sit outside in the morning without a jacket.

The lawn is wet and hasn't been mowed in at least two weeks. The last time that I neglected the lawn a coworker that lives in the area mentioned it. He was not mean about it and he didn't seem to be judgmental but I still thought, "Well, yeah, fuck you," but I kept that thought to myself.

The lawn should be mowed, there is little doubt about that.

...

Yesterday I was at the ATM on the first floor of where I work and I keyed in the wrong pin number and then I heard a loud sigh from behind me. I thought, "You have got to be kidding me," to whatever made the sigh. Then I keyed in another wrong pin number and I heard another sigh but I refused to look behind me. On the third try I got the number sequence right on the account that I rarely use and then turned to look at the person making the sighs.

I said, "You know, I didn't know if it was some asshole I didn't know or what, but now I see it's an asshole that I know." It was just one of my buddies giving me a hard time but I think I might need to change my pin numbers to something I can remember better.

Thursday

October 4, 2012

It is Thursday.

This is mostly just a reminder to myself. Mostly reminding me that it is Thursday and also October 4th.

It was a little coincidental that as she was telling me that I buy things to fill a hole, that I could hear UPS sliding a box across the front porch floor. UPS no longer bothers with knocking on the door, they just leave the stuff on the enclosed front porch, which is quite  fine with me.

It is trash day today. That is a reminder to myself as well.

I cooked something Tuesday. I actually cooked something Saturday as well but I don't count what I did on Saturday as cooking; I baked bacon and fried home fries in my twelve inch cast iron skillet. I also scrambled some eggs. Looking back on it, I don't know why I do not count that as cooking.

Tuesday, I cut a 3lb beef roast into small pieces and browned it in a nonstick pan. I tossed in an onion and four carrots, along with some homemade chicken stock. I was finished at about 8:45PM.

I try not to eat after 7:15PM. So much for that.

The Boston Public Library is having a free depression screening on Tuesday.

I have requested to take next week off.

I have to make certain that I have everything set to go for the next three weeks.

This post is as boring as a presidential debate.

Cat-binet

Friday forward

Friday morning I again was feeling like I was not accomplishing anything. I was busy but i was not making any progress with the stack of paperwork on my desk. By lunchtime I was sort of resolved to the fact that I would be even further behind by the end of the day. But then the phone stopped ringing and people stopped coming by my cube assign questions; I ended up doing the paperwork for eight events, which pretty much brought me up todate.

Saturday, I made some progress on the house and ended up finding thirty feet of half inch copper pipe which would have came in handy when a water pipe started leaking in the basement a couple of weeks ago.

Sunday, I feel was a waste. So of course I focus on the Sunday.

It is not that I forget, it is most likely I never got the chance to remember

The way I remember to spell the word 'their' is to tell myself that the word 'the' is how it starts.

I do not think that my brain stores information like most people's but I haven't really ever investigated it.

There are times that I will tell myself that the word that I want to spell is spelled the opposite of what I think it should be but then when I get more familiar with the word, I forget which way is the opposite way.

I usually have to anchor my memories to some existing memory to get myself to remember.

Strong feelings

I cannot believe that I am advocating for soup.

I can understand not likely certain soups but to say all soups everywhere suck is something I do not understand. I am not a love of soup but I have eaten some good soups which include chili's and stews.

(this one is about you)

...

Things have not been too delightful lately and I am most likely over stressed and I deal with stress by reducing myself to the size of a few molecules which means my world gets very tiny, so tiny that I cannot work a keyboard.

Keep an eye on your old folks

My desire was to just get home and do some laundry; staying late and working weekends were starting to take a toll.

At the trolley station an old woman was having trouble getting through the turnstile and what looked to be her adult children were already on the other side. The old lady seemed a little panicy and confused. Her problem was simple though, there was not enough credit on the pass she was using but her family didn't seem to be offering any help.

I was only there a moment and in the moment she failed to get the gates opened twice and she tossed her hands up.

I have a monthly pass which pretty much lets me ride and local train, bus or trolley but I cannot use it at the same station after a fifteen minute wait.

I told the lady that I would get her in and pressed my pass to the sensor on the turnstile an dit opened but she didn't step through, she was still confused so I gave her a little push and told her to hurry.

I wondered whose idea it was to leave this confused lady on the outside of the station while they went through first.

I then turned and left the station and walked to the next closest.

Keep an eye on your old folks.

On the bus

Pride

Memorial Day weekend plus Tuesday

It has probably been over a decade since this room has had a ceiling.

On top of the bookshelf with all the cookbooks

The cats are limited to two rooms at the moment and this is one of the only places where they can get direct sunlight.

Monday

The new copier seems great but when the office is quiet you can hear every beep; and it beeps a lot.

…

My patience seems to be gone.

…

I wanted mason jars and was having trouble finding them so I went to the supermarket where I had seen them last. It was about five o’clock in the evening.

There was an area by the front of the store that looked like a small tornado hit and I noticed a couple of Mothers’ Day things about. Also about were a couple of people waiting for what turned out to be balloons and flowers which were brought out from some back room.

In my head, I ridiculed all of those people who had forgotten about Mothers’ Day; even though I sometimes forget what the present day is.

…

I brought my lunch with me today. I figure that it will save money and also make it easier to eat better and also to eat less. I have a hard time remember that I do not need to “clean my plate” and that paying for and leaving food that will be throw away is not as bad as overeating.

I am trying to pay more attention to a few things.

I rolled a slice of Black Forest Ham, Genoa Salami, and Harvarti Cheese into two leaves of Romaine Lettuce along with a little bit of red onion in the middle. I also have carrots and a dill pickle.

…

We celebrated Mothers’ Day a week earlier because we did not want to deal with the unnecessary drama of Mothers’ Day on Mothers’ Day but we did also do a little something on Mothers’ Day just because mothers can be strange sometimes.

Wednesday

I don't remember the last time that I was that angry.

I wanted everyone to shut up. Their voices seemed to be driving me crazy. My iTunes were also making me angry, I hated every sound coming from the computer speakers.

I tried to take a mental step backwards; the situation taking place should not have been enough to cause me any concern but yet I was as angry as I have ever been. I was in the office so I really couldn't tell everyone to shut the fuck up which caused me some frustration which then caused a strong desire to escape the area.

I leave my desk frequently, I get coffees, make copies, ask questions of people in other offices, go to Staples and other do other things that get me away from my desk but at that exact moment, I had no place to go and for some reason I was refusing to be driven from my desk.

My anger subsided even though the noise of the office didn't.

I then started checking dates for when I could take a vacation.

Next

The meeting was scheduled for 1PM to 5PM. My work day is from 8AM to 4PM.

A contract was being negotiated.

Every time the other side would leave, I would think about how much I didn't want to be there. My mind would wander to things I should be doing, things that have been holding me back. Things that have been causing my life to stagnate.

I wondered if "stepping up" was a mistake. I tried to reconcile my expectations of others and those of myself. I think more people should step up and do things but if I do not step up in certain ways then how can I expect other to step up? I thought more people should get involved in the union, even though I am not a huge fan of labor unions. The union is there, it is a closed shopped, if you have to exist in it, you should try to make sure it works to the collective benefit of the membership.

It was that thinking that caused me to run for office. It wasn't much of a run, there was just one nominee, just like most every other election where the 'leaders' end up pleading with folks to fill the offices.

I fell into vice president. I figured that it would be easy and it was until the president quit. I still hold it against him somewhat. But "people need to step up" was still my stated belief.

I watched the time change from my normal work day into my free time. I watched the time go past the end of average work day, the scheduled end of the meeting, and further into the evening. I watched the time go past other unclassified periods and then I started to worry about whether or not the public transit system would still be running when we finally would get to leave.

Progress was slow and stopped on occasion. I entertained the thought of quitting, just to be finished for the day but someone would always start things back up.

We ended up with an agreement that some people hated. I thought the agreement was livable, probably fair and maybe in some instances approaching good.

I signed the line some time after 9:30PM and I was glad to be done with that portion of it.

I would say that it is down hill from here but it is really more of a plateau but I can at least see where the downward slope begins, and once I reach the valley, I will soon be done. And then I can focus more on me and those things.



I wonder how you are.

Internet is in and out

The Internet connection is in and out more than usual today but then my thoughts are more out than in today.

my nerves seem to be bare today.

I want everyone to shut up.