The strongest nine year old I know

I keep this in my second office.

It surprises me that it remains unopened.

Kind of a Big Deal

 

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.

 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

When I first read that quote I did really read who it was attributed to, but I did read who it was the second time I read it and he was in Boston not too long ago. He is kind of a big deal.

Cars

She called me a hoarder and it is true I keep a lot of unnecessary stuff around but I think my problem is more about a lack of focus but she did get me to think about.

My thoughts took me to my books. I don't have thousands of books but I definitely  have hundreds of them and most of them are sitting in high stacks on top of my marble mantle.

I asked myself why I didn't put them away. My answer was because then I would never read them.

I didn't ask why I haven't packed up I ones I have read. But it did remind me that hoarders don't put things away because they want to see their stuff because they don't want it to go missing.

And then I asked myself, what of mine has gone missing. I answered rather quickly. It was my cars.

When I was little my uncle would usually give me a Matchbox car whenever he would visit. By the time I was seven I had a pretty good collection and then one day I could not find them, so I asked my mom.

She said that she had given them away because I never played with them anymore.

I said, "But they are mine."

She sad, "Well, we can't get them back."

I don't know how accurate that story is because it is remembered from a seven year old's mind but it is true in my heart.

I should ask her about it because I did grow up poor and maybe my parents sold them which still would be wrong but at least a little less callus.

"I know how I would that"

I sometimes think: "I know how I would post that" so sometimes things are posted just because I think it would make a "good" post and not so much because it is a reflection of my life.

I hear there are more cats on the internet than porn

That is Vissini only it is spelled with z's. He like warm laundry.

That I is Huckleberry

Pointed Toe

I almost bought a pair of cowboy boots with the American flag on them.

I truly do believe that they will make me happier.

But they are square toe.

The light switch in my bedroom was installed upside down so I have to turn it on to turn it off

I usually know it when I hit the bed.

I know that I will not be sleeping well. I know my brain will just not shut off. Sometimes, when it happens my brain will be actually racing here and there but other times it will be like a light on in an empty room.

I will say, "You are not doing anything so shut off," and the reply will be, "Nope."

Fucking brain.

Stop being stupid

The guy was wearing a glove on his left hand as he drank his draft beer. He did have a glove for the right hand and he was wearing it earlier but then took it off, so only his drinking hand was gloved.

He wouldn't let go of his beer.

It was mostly regulars at the bar and the guy was butting into any conversation that he could.

He was figdeting with his gloved hand and I found him slightly ridiculous because the beers are not that cold and there is no reason to keep a tight hold of it. I laughed.

My friend asked what I found so funny. The guy would have heard me so I typed a note on my iPod and handed it to her and the guy strained his neck to look over her shoulder at my iPod.

I said, "Dude, it's a private message."

He just shrugged his shoulders.

After the guy left she said that he said that I was an asshole.

"Sometimes, I am an asshole but I wasn't being an asshole to that guy. He should mind his own business."

I slightly regretted that I actually didn't try to be more of an asshole.

...

I have been getting into arguments with myself regarding my stubbornness.

I was angry about something and an inner voice asked, "Well,  if you were them wouldn't you have done something similar?"

And instead of answering the question truthfully, my reply was, "Fuck you."

And that is when I wondered why I am so stubborn when I am being stupid.

Radiator Key

Half a day on Tuesday and the whole day on Wednesday were about all I could stand being in my house so on Thursday I got into the truck and drove.

The story gets a lot more boring after that so it will remain untold.

Flatbread

Cheese

Pepper and onion

Pepperoni

Tomato and fresh mozzarella 

"Eh, I'll see tomorrow."

"Are you going to be around?"

"No. I'm on vacation."

I say that too often. I will be sitting at my desk when I get asked something and my answer will be, "I'm on vacation," or "I am not officially here today."

There was a meeting that needed to be attended and there was an official request for a protest to handle so I went in. 

But I went in a half hour late.

But no one noticed.

Work is easier when I am on vacation mostly because I can say "no". If I do not like I thing, I am free to walk out. It's my own personal 'fuck you card' that I carry in my back pocket.

"Dude, I came in on my day off just to get my own shit done," works quite well in sending people on their way.

The truth is that I have too many days off and not enough life. I actually have plenty of life it is just that I choose not to live it but I probably do get too many days off.

I went in to do the meeting and the paperwork for the protest but I ended up doing about ten other things; things that would have clawed at any quiet that I might have encountered, so I thought it was worth the investment. 

I am pretty much good until the second week in December.

...

We got snow today.

I will sleep in tomorrow.

...

Brian Regan is a comedian. He has this bit about going to the optometrist. He wonders out loud why people do not visit the eye doctor more often when they are having trouble seeing. He explains that  you can go into the doctors office and in about an hour see things that you couldn't see before. He wants to know what's so important that would have people put off seeing.

Then he says, "Eh, I'll see tomorrow."

That

I was asked were I wanted to be. 

We were talking about life.

I don't know what the place looks like or how far away it is. It is somewhere over the horizon.

I believe my answer was: Ahead, which I followed with "someplace forward."

I have to keep reminding myself to keep going forward.

Watch your step

4:45

5:00

6:15

I used my iPod as my alarm clock and so far it has sounded an alarm at those three times above. I have had to work the last two Saturdays and I never deleted the alarms. 

I was awake for all three, although for the first one I had to search for where I had left it.

...

I found fifty bucks in the street.

It wasn't actually in the street, it was in Sam Adams Park right where the street performers perform. It was among the Fall leaves.

Of course, me being me, I worried whether or not it was real because why would someone drop a fifty dollar bill where the street performers hang out? And how was I the first person to notice it?

I was scheduled to meet some friends at the bar and when I got there I asked the manager to check it out for me. 

She gave me the thumbs up and said "Today is your lucky day."

It was indeed a lucky day that contained great fortune and fifty bucks.

For one hour you get a re-do

Fall back.

I will wait for the spring ahead.

...

I am glad it's over but it isn't back to normal yet. It's just back to normaler.

I am pretty sure that beards will become more commonplace.

...

Vote on Tuesday.

Nobody cares.

...

Hey is for horses

I was on the phone when my first cube visitor arrived and I was still on the phone when that first visitor was joined by a second visitor.

The cube across from mine is unoccupied so they were hanging out there.

I was explaining to the guy on the other end of the phone that we still have to plan for all scenarios and we have to do it three days in advance so there will be times when we will do things and then have to undo those things and sometimes twice over. "It's all in the memo," I kept saying; and it was, it was a very fine memo and it took me awhile to compose it. It was not dissimilar to writing computer code with a lot of "if-then" loops, planning for Game 5 when it was only Game 2.

When I hung up my phone, I said, "Listen just because you want a parade and you want a tree lighting doesn't mean the world stops."

The world was actually going like gangbusters.

Today was more of the same, only I was shorted a few hours because I had to do someone else's job while still doing my own.

Sometimes, the newbie (who has been around for two years) will tell me to take a deep breathe and I say, "Fuck you newbie! Breathing is for the weak."

I got five minutes to work on the latest problem that was going to needs signs. I had arranged it so someone would come and get the signs, all I had to do was make them up. Easy Peasy. I printed the stickers and peeled them from their backing and carefully placed them over the cardboard sign and I read what I had typed. At the bottom was:

"Hey Ride Event"

It was too funny not to show to my coworkers and one acted out a scene were folks are riding around saying, "Hey."