Ladies, Please Resist Your Urge.

When I'm busy, I don't go which is why I know I'm not an alcoholic and I've been busy. But I had heard that Em was going to be working the bar in the afternoon so I made a point of being there.

I got a seat because one of the regulars was leaving and often the regulars look after the other regulars. I shook hands with the other bartender who I also hadn't seen in awhile and explained that had gotten busy.

I watched her pour some drafts and open a couple bottles of beer. Her hair was shorter than the last time I had seen her and she was well tanned. When she has more than one to open she still hugs the bottles high on her person as she pries their caps off; it amplifies her cleavage and I imagine it helps with the tips. I got there on the front end of a pub crawl and when she got a breather she was standing right in front of me and looked up. I just smiled.

She shouted my name and then fought her way through the crowd to give me a hug. When she got back she placed a Bud Light draft in front of me.

"You shaved off your facial hair. You look younger."

"Yeah, It was just going to be for a couple days but then people started saying that I look better without it."

"What do you think?"

"I think I look better with it but I don't have to look at me."

It was difficult to carry on a conversation because the place was loud and because one of the other regulars was sticking her tongue in my ear. It was her boyfriend who left whose seat I was in. I just wanted the chair not that status of lover. It seemed like it was her annual all-out-assault on bedding me. When she went to the Ladies' room, Em said "You're going to get raped." Her hands were all over me and each time they were returned to her lap. She mentioned that I was right handed and that she knew that because that's they way my dick was pointing.

She left with smeared mascara. By then, other bartenders had joined the shift and Erin noticed my sigh of relief and she rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "Yeah, I didn't know I was that irresistible."

"She left because she thinks you're my girlfriend," I said to Em as she came over.

"She said that?"

"Yeah, and she wants to know what you have that she doesn't?"

"She said that?" Erin asked.

"Yup."

"She's crazy."

"We're like two totally different people. Her and me couldn’t be more different."

"But now she knows what she wants: she wants just one man to love her."

"Wasn't she just here with Eddie?"

"Yup."

"And wasn't she just all over Steve, when she came back up the stairs?"

"Yup."

Em then placed a shot of Vodka in front of me and when I motioned about hers, she said she already had done four. I knocked it back and placed the little plastic cup on her side of the bar and then she strained the bar shaker into it. "I guess I over poured it," she said with a smile as the liquid reached the rim. I thought for a brief moment on how that second shot in a row was going to affect me; I figured I was safe.

I could have stayed all night, it was one of those days when I could drink whatever I wanted without getting wasted as long as I paced myself, but I had work in the morning even though the next morning was a Sunday.

When I got my bill it had only half the beers I had drank and not one mention of the three Vodka shots I had; It was like she never had left.