I opened up Word to start bitching about things, mostly my jobs, but lately I think that’s been over done on this site.

Usually, I can go with the flow and get where I want to be and getting there smelling like roses but lately, the flow just isn’t going my way.

I wonder if I had just chosen in the past to decide that where I ended up was where I wanted to be; I never really had to use much of my rowing skills before.

…

Sometimes, when people watch me do things, they will say “You should do that for a living,” and I think “You should shut the fuck up.”

I’m much more profane inside the confines of my skull.

Doing things for fun or because a friend is in need or just because a thing needs to be done is a different situation than having to do it all day long. It’s different than having to hustle jobs and deal with clients. I’ve been there or at least in the neighborhood; there is a reason why I am where I am.

…

I was watching that Flash movie and there are something that I could change to make it more to my liking but on the whole, it’s a pretty good product.

more sand through the tiny little hole

We lost the listing but it’s in dispute so some of our marketing is still in place: like the billboards and the website.

I authored the website. I designed the layout, picked the colors, created the feel, made the Flash movies and even took most of the photos.

I was standing at her seated side as she was checking the Sitemeter account. She then went to the site and started one of the Flash movies; the one that touts the neighborhood. She asked if I could move it over to the main page. I said that the development name would have to be removed from the end, so we started to wait until the information flashed on the screen. Towards the end a photo of some sea gulls I had taken awhile ago flashed on the screen. She said that it was one of her favorite photos and then the development’s name came up. It was brief. I knew I could delete it without reworking the movie but I didn’t want her to know that it would be easy.

She then went back to checking the number of hits. The development’s page is getting more daily hits than the company’s main page, even though it’s not actively being advertised. I think she paid twenty grand for her main page. I charged her a flat rate, which she still hasn’t paid.



I hope to get those stairs painted after work today. I also have a pork tenderloin to worry about.

later...
I primed the stairs and the pork is okay in the frig until the 31th

If you really wanted to be in front then you should have stood there

Often, when you step up you also step in front, which sometimes upsets people.

“Dude, the spot was open. You should have moved forward.”

Those losers at the bar envy me

I would give him something that he needs to do his job and he would say “You’re a nice guy,” and that always bothered me; so now when he says that I’m a nice guy, I say “No, I’m a professional.”

Doing your job doesn’t make you a nice guy.


I don’t know why but I started planting things.


Frequently all that I need to do makes me forget all that I’ve already done.


I’m trying not to be so lazy – lazy by my standards.


I told her that I wouldn’t be sticking around after work. She told me that she would be in tomorrow at 4pm. So, on Saturday at 4:45pm, I walked through the door. I tried to order a beer but after too many questions, I said “Fine, I’ll go straight to the Vodka drinks.”

I have my favorite seat but sometimes I’ll move so that more people will sit at the bar. The third move put me next to a regular that I didn’t recognize.

“Aren’t you Tim?” he asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“The last time I saw you, I think I you bought a pretzel for {one of the bartenders}.”

I thought back to the last time a bought a pretzel, it was awhile ago, before I confirmed his thinking.

“I’m a Tim, too.”

I offered my hand and said “Nice to meet you, Tim.”



Later, the bartender he was referring to asked if I would run over and get her a pretzel, which I did.


After my fifth pint of whatever she was serving me, I asked to settle up. The bill she gave me totaled $18.50. I’ve seen her charge $14 for just one of what I was drinking, so I folded two twenties into the receipt and placed it on the far edge of the bar. I have an informal rule that I can't leave too much more than twice the bill; if I think more compensation is required than it gets delivered in gifts.

She handed a twenty back as she asked “Timmy, what are you doing?”

“What? I’m going to leave a two dollar tip?”

Then she leaned a little closer and got a little quieter and said “Sometimes, I just like it when you visit.”

a different short version

She told me that things would get better. I replied “But not until it gets worse.”

She said that I just needed to have faith for just a little while longer. I replied that we’ve been in decline for over four years.

She said that she needed to keep positive about the situation. I took it as a quite plea to not win the argument on just how dire the situation is, so I replied with silence.


I keep all sorts of versions in my head

I wrote this to myself

Sometimes, there is no going back but there is always going forward

Even if you have to put it in reverse to get it back into a forward gear

I wrote this to myself and I don't disagree with the message but I think it sounds stupid, like it should be on some sort of lame poster

old post from the 20th

My patience for that place is gone – I’ve stated that before. All it takes is one little thing that I think is stupid and I get evil.

I got a little evil last night.

When the owner returned a phone call; I said some things and asked some questions. She had no real answers. She started to offer all the standard hopeful lines, like “Things will get better,” but I would answer: “Yeah, but not before it gets worse.”

All her standard lines petered out and we were left with silence.

Two minutes later, my cell phone rang. Little g’s pet turtle had escape and wasn’t able to be found. I drove over to help. Little g’s room was a bit cluttered with trash bags full of clothes and shoes and the like. Everything was out of its place because the last time she was there, she was packing for camp.

I started looking under all the bags. He’s not a small turtle, he’s a little larger than a cup saucer. When they bought him he was the size of a silver dollar. In theory he could have been anywhere in the two level home; the upstairs bedroom door had been left opened. After checking under the bags, I started checking in them.

He was in a bag of what looked like unused school supplies and clothes hangers. I washed him off in the bathroom sink and changed the water in his tank and left him back on the window sill and placed something heavy on top. When I went downstairs, I was told that the turtle had to leave with me. Further directions included that I had to keep him until Little g gets back from camp and then he gets dropped off at some pond.

I’m not a fan of dumping pets into ponds and I guess it showed because I was also told that I could offer him to my nieces.

Why do kids like to throw the gravel, on a tar and gravel roof, off of the roof? I remember being told not to do it as a kid, so I must have done it but I don’t remember was it was fun.

My nieces were on the roof with me: one was helping and asking all sorts of questions and the other was helping and throwing the pea gravel off of the roof. When she wasn’t throwing the gravel from the roof, she was moving it around with a small crowbar.

They were both happy when I “built a ramp” from them to get from the roof to the doorway. There is about a four foot drop from the doorway to the roof, I was getting in and out by stepping on a bucket of roofing cement but it was hard for their littler legs to span the gap, so I set a 2x6x8’ plank of wood from the threshold of the door to the roof.

“Look at the ramp, Timmy built for us,” they would yell to whoever would hear. I thought ‘built’ was an overstatement.

“Timmy, why are you taking the stairs down?”


“Timmy, when are you going to fix the leak?”

"Timmy, why do you need two different types of screws?”

“Timmy, why did you need to use the little nails?”


“Timmy, why are the screws different colors?”

I gave an answer to all of her questions, even when the answer was ‘I don’t know.”

I forget the questions that I didn’t know the answer to.

Later, I smiled when she was able to brag to her mother that she helped me build the stairs.


I drove around Sunday taking photos of things that may disappear soon because a contract has expired.


I’m still having a hard time motivating myself but I fired up the design program anyway, I tossed all the elements on the size paper I was going to print to and moved things around. It was designed around some politician’s pride.

I was moving along but then I moved passed it

I was on the roof today; the lowest one. I have six different roof levels. The lowest one is the tar and gravel roof that’s over the addition that was built in the 60’s. There is a door on the second floor that opens put onto it where three stairs would take you down to the roof.
The ceiling below this door has leaked since we’ve had the house. I would chase the leak here and there but never find it. I would mostly blame the roof but then I figured that it might be the door so I replaced the door last year. The new door has a larger window and is better insulated so it wasn’t a wasted effort in putting it in when I found out that the leak hadn’t stopped.
The leak did slow, though; so that left the stairs which I pulled off from my house this very day. Sure enough there was plenty of moisture where the stairs had met the house. Part of the stairs fell apart in the process so everything got replaced.

My nieces helped somewhat which was going to be that purpose of his post but now I’m tired of it, so maybe later.

It's the little things that make my head explode

Please take it with you

I have no problem with people reading my paper. I’ll actually leave it out and across from my desk so folks can grab it without having to disturb me but I do have a problem when they plop their ass down and start reading the damn thing right then and there. Scanning the headlines is fine but if you’re going to spend some time reading; take it with you and then bring it back.

Why do bees do that? Flies and beetles too.

My phone started its impersonation of a bumblebee on its way to bumblebee heaven. I put it on vibrate during the meeting and set it in front of me on the laminated wood conference table so when I get a call it starts to buzz while its does a little dance. I checked the caller ID and pushed the button that would stop the buzzing sound and sent it to voice mail.

I called him when I got a chance. He apologized for calling me in my meeting which robbed me of telling him that he should have known better than to call me anytime for the first half of any Tuesday. He also said that he had forgotten why he called. I guess his short term memory is running at about a half hour. He then said that he wasn’t worrying about anything that had to do with his job and he told me by name where he was; which worried me a little because we usually don’t use the actual name of the place. We usually refer to it as “Down the street” or some other non-descript name.

A half hour after that, I was sitting by his side. I was asked if I wanted a soda because that is what I usually get during the day but I said that I would have what my buddy was having.

I asked if something went wrong as soon as I could float it into the conversation but all that he would tell me was that it was the “Same old shit.”

I ordered some nachos, which I knew he would share, just so he would have some food in his system before he went back to his desk.

They spelled my name Trim

I think they’re gone for the moment. I did feel a twinge of remorse; I am pretty sure she was a single mom with four kids and three nights ago she had to find a new place to live because of me.

I thought there would have been more of a fight, more drama, more effort to be extended.

But knock on wood, I got off easy.


My umbrella smells like hickory smoke; something having to do with grilling a roast and seemingly never ending rain. The sun was out when I started and I wasn’t comfortable with letting the roast sit in the frig any more days.


The trouble with people thinking you’re a know-it-all is that people expect you to know it all.

I was supposed to be working on a redesign for the ad that gets posted online to some popular list but every time I turned the computer on my motivation to do so disappeared. That happened for six weeks or so until I finally hashed something out. It was a lot of effort to stick with it for my heart wasn’t in it.

The end result functions but it doesn’t sing. It’s all business.


I want change but I’m not willing to change.

I ain't dead yet

This is mostly just a post saying that neither I or this blog is dead yet.


If the blog dies: I'm not crying but... Is that the proper use of a colon?

Anyway, I've been working. For quite some time I was supposed to redesign some ad but I never could motivate myself to do it. I would fire up the laptop, startup Dreamweaver, sit there for a bit and then close the machine down. But the other day I just did it. It was rather uninspired but it was all business looking and it was for a business so it worked out, I guess.

I boss said she liked it. I'm still not in love with it but I wouldn't mind copping a feel with it.

She stayed with me the other night as I redesigned our marketing piece offering instant feedback which for some people would be some what of a nuisance but I found it helpful.

I told her that I appreciated it the next day in an email and when she saw me in person later that day, she thanked me for the email. I think she now wants to jump my bones.

Today, I worked a bit of overtime for the day job and after that, I worked on kicking out the coons. I guess kicking out is too strong of a phrase. I sort of just changed the locks after I thought they were out.

They were getting in through a dormer, that had some rot. I cut all new pieces of wood put most of them up and them waited for night fall and then waited a little more. After the waiting, I went up to the roof with a flashlight and a cordless drill fit with a phillips head screw bit and sealed up the rest and then I sprayed critter ridder all over the place. I don't know if it is actually called critter ridder or not but it's supposed to make raccoon want to go elsewhere.

I got a call from Little g when I was up on the roof. She asked where I was and I told her. I'm surprised my signal was cutting out up there, I would have thought the service would have been better, four stories high. My house is only three stories but standing on the roof is the same height as four stories. If you don't believe me than google it.

It's late, sort of. I'm outta here.

He caught my eye while I was mowing the lawn

So I picked him up and put him in a coffee mug that has been on the patio table for about two months so I could get my camera. He wasn't too cooperative.