last scene

When I got to the place in  the article that named the bar, my heart sank a little.

Someone, had left their hotel room at 2am on Saturday and never returned. Prior to that, he had some drinks at an area bar. The first conclusion jumped to was that the guy was drunk and fell into the harbor.

That Monday afternoon I was taking to the bartender that served him. I found out that his group were drinking SoCo and Limes and beers and she didn't think that any of them were over served. She cashed them out at 10:30PM.

Later that day there was a candle light vigil.

I've been keeping away from his crasy but sometimes I feel obligated

How often have I said that I’m not there like I used to be?

I think it’s been at least a few times and every time it’s been true.

She set the case of Patron in front of me on the dishwasher and said to the manager “Can’t we give Timmy a bottle for being such a great customer?” I didn’t get a bottle but one of the other guys asked why they didn’t rate a bottle.

“Timmy, like Patron,” was the simple answer.

I was there because I was told that a coworker had stormed out of the office and had said that he was going drinking. He’s his own worst enemy so I went to check on him. He was calmed down when I saw him. I tried to explain that he should be more careful, that he doesn’t have far to go until retirement and that he should just bide his time. I also told him that when a boss tells you to do something that you don’t agree with, just tell him your opinion and if he still wants it done, then ask him to put it in writing and if he does then just do it.

The ball-less wonders often will not put it in writing.

Blood is sticky

I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve, directly in the place where I sometimes wipe my nose.

I wanted a bigger bang

I called her cellphone when I didn't see her car at her place of work. I was a little bit disappointed that she was ruining my plans on Valentine's Day.

"Hey, where you at?" is how I replied to her "Hello."

"I'm at home but I'm supposed to be in Dallas. Are you outside my work?"

"Yeah and now me bringing you cupcakes is going to be less spectacular."

I'm told that sometimes people with autism have trouble with depth perception

I had to check to see what that last post was.

I sort of have this "don't erase" rule, you know that rule that when you post something then you cannot delete it. I've been true to that rule pretty faithfully mostly because there are a lot of things that never got posted.

I think I'm at that point where I tired of waiting for things to go my way.

That statement hints that I'm an arrogant but lucky bastard (no offense to my mom and dad).

All of my life I have relied on my patience for things to turn around. I've outlasted a lot of things but lately, it's taking too long; I'm wasting too much time waiting for things to change. I have to change.

A coworker had to pull the plug on his brother last week. The week prior, his brother was hit by a truck. The truck was driven by a friend of the brother.

The brother's skull was crushed on the right side and both lungs were collapsed; there was liver damage too.

The hospital was able to keep the body going but the mind was gone.

I hitched a ride to the wake with some friends.

We walked into a too large room.

Across the way stood my co-worker, his wife and her sister and to their right seemed to be miles of wall to wall carpet; and then chairs.

The brother was autistic.

I'm told that sometimes people with autism have trouble with depth perception.

"Hey, Tim, what's..."

I'll be sitting at my desk tending to my own business when someone will shout something at me. Usually, they will need to know something. Often I can give the answer right away. Other times I will need to think about it and other times still I will seek the answer out.

"Hey, Tim, what's that street off of Albany Street?"

There are lots of streets off of Albany Street but I'll have a clue as to which one he means but to be certain I'll ask a question.

"The one with the cobble stones?"

There is only one street off of Albany Street that has cobble stones.

"Yeah."

"I don't know but it starts with a 'P'," I'll say as I start to get up to look at a map that is sitting on a desk in an empty cube across from mine.

"Oh, don't get up. I can look it up. I just thought you might know off the top of your head."

If you could look it up in the first place then why didn't you. I don't go around bothering folks if I can easily find out the answer myself.

I'll proceed to look at the map and say "Plympton Street."

the old neighborhood

I was waiting for my order of crab rangoon and chicken fingers to go with the pizza that I was going to get up the street, when I overheard the guy at the counter talking about Karma only he wasn’t calling it Karma. I wasn’t trying to listen but there was just me and him other than the restaurant staff in the place.

“Once the guy next door at the bank, gave me a hundred dollars too much.”

“What guy?”

“The teller next door.” He lowered his voice and added “The black guy”. He then continued in a normal tone of voice, “Anyway, I gave it back and later that day, I hit my number for $800.”

“You what?”

“I hit my numbers, one of my numbers hit in the lottery for eight hundred bucks. I was being paid back for not taking the hundred. I could have just walked out of the bank with that extra hundred and nobody would have known but I gave it back and then I hit my number. Like God was paying me back or something. I believe if you do the right thing then good things will happen.”

Just as this part of his story was ending, three teenagers walked in. The boy was nearly shouting that South Boston Chinese was the best Chinese in South Boston. He said it at least twice. The girls he were with seemed unphased by his behavior. I was wondering who he was trying to convince and thought that if he really wanted to spread the word, then he should have walked either up the street or down the street and yelled his message in the other three Chinese food restaurants within a one block radius.

“Are you from here?” The lottery winner asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“Did you go to Southie High?”

“Yup.”

“Yeah? Me too. Did you go to the Gavin?” (The Gavin is a middle school.)

“No.”

“Well then you didn’t grow up here. And if you did, then you wouldn't be acting like you are. I don’t like it.”

The boy was quiet as the cashier motioned to me with a head nod that the brown paper bag that he was sliding across the counter between the two of them was for me.

I grew up in the neighborhood and I didn't go to the Gavin but I didn't like the kid's attitude either.

I think it's time to move on

I don't like the way I have to type while I'm using my laptop but that's a different story.

I think its time to move on but I've been thinking that for awhile. I think I'm done but I don't want to just end the relationship. We've been through a lot together, and it's not that things are bad, it's just that things aer never new.

I've been cutting down on our time together but there is still Fridays when I'll visit.

I had four or five beers when a co-worker called and asked me where I was, I told him and twenty minutes late he was sitting beside me. A half hour after that, I got another call and that person was soon standing beside me. So, I ended up staying longer than I planned.

I stayed past two shift changes and on the second one, I was asked to drop in on Sunday. She's one of my favorite bartenders so I did. After five beers, I ordered a scotch.

"I find that interesting."

"What."

"That you'll drink liquor after beer."

"I was never trained properly on drinking. I sort  of just taught myself."

Earlier in the day she handed me her phone so that I could she the comforter that she was ordering from Amazon. When I was leaving I told her that I was going to tell everyone that I had seen her bed linens.

This post really has no end. It just sort of stops.

Don't rob a bank with that guy

I sit outside the boss’s office so sometimes I hear things and when these things may affect my friends, I’ll give them the heads up. I did this yesterday.

I told my former supervisor that his boss’s boss was questioning the way that he was signing into work and I told him that his boss defended him. I mentioned it because sometimes he'll come in an hour late and have no excuse but his immediate boss comes into work fifteen minutes later than when he's late so he doesn't get caught. But his boss's boss often comes in at the same time as my former supervisor is supposed to be at his desk and he'll look at the sign in sheet.

Today, I hear my former supervisor in his boss’s office and he said, “I hear that Jim has an issue with the way I sign in.” Now, there are only a few ways that this information could have gotten back to my former supervisor: one is that Jim spoke to him, another is that his boss spoke to him and the others are either myself or the boss’s assistant told him something that was overheard in a private conversation. Jim didn’t speak to him and his boss obviously didn’t speak to him so that leaves me and the boss’s assistant as the possible spies and I don't think she was at her desk at the time.

I hate fucking retards that are too stupid to be helped. I specifically told him not to say anything unless Jim was to bring it up. There was no reason in the world for my former supervisor to mention what I told him in confidence to his boss.


"Yeah, you dumb cops. You have been looking for those bank robbers for months and you haven't even come close to suspecting me and Timmy."

Giving some sugar

I'm at the computer with the mouse that acts up from time to time. Presently, it is behaving.

One of the last times I was here, I shot off a few posts. One after one.

I don't think you'll be getting much more than this one.

But I didn't think that there would have been more than that first one, that last time.

Another election day. Another bake sale. During the phone conversation, she mentioned that another bake sale was coming up and asked if I wanted to bake anything. She said that it was up to me. Just, "If you wanted to," is how she phrased it.

The bake sale was all she mentioned in the call.

Why would I want to?

The next day, I dropped of toffee, toffee coated popcorn and pecan pralines. She had never returned my treat bags from the last bake sale so I figured she could bag all that stuff her lonesome.

I had been hoping to trade my candy treats for her sexual treats. Instead, she returned one of my plastic containers.

This is when I normally highlight all those words above and hit the delete key.

I mentioned balloon spit

We were with friends. We were in an Indian restaurant. I knew very few things on the menu. Mostly, because I had never been to an Indian restaurant.

I tasted everything sometimes one right after the other; not like I was tasting the things like I had hoped but more like I was just dared to taste everything.

My sister asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "One of those tasted like balloon spit," and she agreed.

One of the people we were with asked, "What's balloon spit?" But thankfully the conversation changed before I felt obliged to answer.

Now that I have been to an Indian restaurant, I still know very few things on the menu but I do know that I like saying Vindaloo.

record this record

Sometimes, the English language sucks.

What's my record for number of posts in a day?

Sometimes, the English language is literally poetry.

...

I sometimes wonder what she would do without me. I sometime wonder what she would have done with out me.

I never wonder what I would do without her.

it's the lust i love

page by page i print out her life

i've printed out a lot of her life

twenty five years worth

that's when we met

i would try to catch her unlatching the gate to her yard. she would have to reach over the gate for the latch. her stretching would reveal her lower back and tighten her already tight jeans.

the whole hole or there's a hole in my whole

in 2004 I made 597 posts
in 2005 I made 630 posts
in 2006 I made 572 posts
in 2007 I made 429 posts
in 2008 I made 174 posts
in 2009 I made 159 posts

It seemed a little bit telling when I saw the totals in the sidebar but I don't know what that telling is.

It seems something happened at the end of 2007. Maybe I should read those posts and see if I could find something out.

I think that's when I got poor. I think that's when my spirit broke. I think that is when I gave up hope. I think that is when I gave despair a place setting at the dinner table.

...

We were discussing union issues and I basically said that I wouldn't bring his suggestion to the bargaining table. He said, "I thought you were supposed to be representing me?" I said, "As, at least vice president, I represent the union as a whole." And then my friend said, "Yeah, he represents the union as a whole. He doesn't represent individual holes."

pumps and weigh stations

There are some people when they tell a story; they want you to agree with them and if you don’t agree with them right away then the press you to agree with them; but sometimes I’m just not going to agree. Sometimes their conclusions are not correct.

If it’s a point that I don’t really care about, I’ll just shrug but the other times, my heels dig in.

Yeah, that’s right sometimes I wear heels.