My sister was helping me with something so I took her to lunch. The plan was to take her to my favorite bar and grille but they were closed so we ended up at a towards-the-high-end steak house. My sister was a little apprehensive about the place because we weren't really dressed for it but I said I didn't care what the restaurant thought of me.

"Can I help you?" I was asked.

"Yeah, a table for two."

"In the dining room or at a table by the bar?"

"Wherever. I don't care."

"Well, in the dining room, it's just that we ask that you remove your hat." I was wearing a hat.

"Well, then I guess it's by the bar."

My sister looked even more apprehensive after the sitting arrangement was explained.

"And you know what, normally I would take my hat off but screw him." I said after we were seated and for the rest of the meal we were goofing on the other patrons and the restaurant itself.

I told my sister that I wanted to steal something just to prove they were right about me but there wasn’t much on the table, there was Tabasco Sauce (the green type), a sweetner holder, and the salt and pepper shakers. I chose the Tabasco. My sister chose the stainless steel sweetner holder, that actually was kind of neat. Once lunch was over I said I was to steal a diner plate.

"I'll just shove it down my pants. They probably wouldn't even say anything, they would be like 'Just go', I'll have to point out to them that I'm leaving a big tip. I'll stand up and say 'Hey look, I'm leaving a bunch of money'"

"and yes that is a diner plate down my pants" my sister added.

Molly was our server and she didn't seem to care I was wearing a hat, we received great service, so I did leave a big tip. She caught me goofing with my camera, I was going to do a self portrait because I already got one of my sister, and we ended up talking a little about digital cameras.