Saturday, December 06, 2008

probably with twins

I took the rest of the day off which equaled half a day and I only took it off because I could; it's that time of year where if you don't use the time you lose the time and I was tired of being a loser.

It was too early for the bar so I stalled around and then went to Godiva. I then went to the bar; it was four minutes past noon.

The waitress greeted me with a smile, just like she always does as I pulled an article from the breast pocket of my coat. It was a story about how happiness is contagious because just the day before she was telling me a theory of hers. The theory was that if we all pretend to be happy then maybe we will be happy.

I thought the article kind of confirmed her theory because if you could trick just one of your friends into thinking you are happy then they would catch your happiness and then you in turn would catch their real happiness.

Whatever, I was mostly just letting her know that I was listening.

I gave the bartender the box of chocolates I got at Godiva because her birthday had been on Monday. I also gave the waitress a small box of chocolates so that the bartender wouldn't feel guilty if she didn't want to share her box.

Later, she did offer to share her box with me.

The P.I. came in and I offered her my seat but she said she would only sit while she was eating and then the seat would be mine again. I protested. She protested my protest. After she finished her lunch she got up. We were both just standing by the chair which caused us to interfere with the travel path of the waitress, so I sat back down. It wasn't an issue to make a scene over.

The insurance agent came in and made her greetings. She settled in at the table behind us where her afternoon boyfriend was sitting. She then squeezed by my shoulder while she ordered her beer from the bar.

After the insurance agent sat down the P.I asked, "Did she say hi to you?" I answered, "Well, I think her right breast made some sort of greeting with my shoulder a few times while she ordered." The P.I. just rolled her eyes.

After the normal rush for lunch, I was the only regular there, so I ordered lunch. About ten minutes later a soup and sandwich came out of the dumbwaiter. "Hey, Timmy. Do you want this?" I don't know how it happened but it was an unwanted order and I was waiting on my boneless buffalo wings. "If you don't want it, it will get thrown away," the bartender said. "We can make you order to go when it comes up, if you are worried about it. If you can't finish, both"

I assured her that I could consume both orders but I was debating on whether I should. I ended up eating both and after I left at four thirty, on my way into the real estate office to print out six hundred raffle tickets, I picked up a steak and cheese sub.

I think I might be pregnant.

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