I know, I know...

I know I'm an ass. I working on changing that though but I'm an under achiever so please either bear with me or give me a swift kick, or a quick push from behind. Yes, I will get quiet angry with the kicking and the pushing but once it's all said and done we both will know that was the proper thing to do but I still won't admit it.

If you look at my worries, they are pretty lame, all self induced really, ...truly, ...honestly, ...without a doubt.
...
Quick day at the r.e. done at 10:35pm.

My work in the hall is stacking up, I'm getting more field work which is nice but my desk work isn't going anywhere. My plan, do the field work and let come what may. I've been asked to do things and I've done them for the most part but nobody has been asking for the stuff and I know it supposed to be moved along. I would ask about it but my philosophy is to not ask a question if you think you may not like the answer. Oh, well.

I have a pretty good life, God has been good to me, I should do more with it, need to do more.

I've been given more dollar bills to the 'homeless'. I'm certain it is for some distorted nonsensical reason.

So, I won $22.00 at Keno today and Liz pays me in singles and tells me I should go the the local strip joint with them. I gave her back more than half of them, which works out to be a 50% tip, she didn't let me slip them into her waistband but I didn't ask to. There were no gyrations either.

Okay, I didn't really win $22 because I paid ten to start so I only won $12.

Even when printing I usually spellout the word okay, I can't remember when that started. Sometimes I do use O.K. but it's infrequent.

My life is like having to choice between jelly or jam, and I'm asking what, no perserves?

When I am straightening out the bottle on the water cooler, I sometimes wonder why my neice is so obsessive compulsive. A tilted water cooler bottle will bother me to no end, yet I can leave a small mountain of previously worn clothes in the middle of my bedroom floor, it's not even a neat pile. What's up with that? I'll usually do laundry when I have to jump over the pile because I can no longer step over it and only then because I'm afraid I will slide on the sleeve of some cotton poly blend and split my head open.

Yes, doctor I was jumping over laundry, missed and slipped on the blue pinstripped buttondown. Can you just stitch me up, please? ...That's if I'm conscience.

What bothered me today, someone reimbused the company for a toner cartidge and on the memo line they put "computer ink" which is so totally wrong.

I hear some folks worry about cancer and unemployment or losing a loved one.

When I toot my own horn, it usually sounds off key...

Yesterday... I think my ramblings are not as worse a day late maybe because some of the haphazardness gets edited out or maybe just forgotten. Anyway, was I starting a story?

There had to have been something. I remember the start...someone was locked out of their house...that's all I got. Well, I got them in, now that's all I got.

I finally hung those silk flowers up for Lady G, she could have easily done it herself but at times she likes to make me feel useful. I will be doing the custom magnets, like the refrigerator kind, for the birthday party for the mother of Lady G, I'm told there is specialized confetti that will be used, my first idea is to get the confetti, scan it, enlarge it, and use it as a background for magnets, magnets shaped like something not yet decided. I have a die cutter at the house so a new die purchase maybe in order.

Either Miss Y is strangely comfortable in my presence or she is flirting with me, ie. a thigh brushes against my shoulder while she reaches for some of my candy followed by a little pout that my Mike and Ike's are almost out.

I need to get more Mike and Ike's.

Miss Y knows all about, and has met, Lady G as well as knowing where the line starts. But winks from the ones further down the line are appreciated albeit fruitless. She was in my cube four times today.

"I can be a bitch sometimes" says Lady G about herself
"You usually aren't a bitch to me, even so, that's part of the package" says I
"You like it when I'm a bitch" she tells me, I can feel her waiting for a denial.
"I won't admit to that but, even so, you make it worth my while"
"Will you stop with the 'even so'?"
"sure"...
..."Thanks for hanging the flowers"
"you're welcome"
"I might have to let you do me doggy style" she says for shock value
"I've given up on that style.." I started to say with not missing a beat
"you're bad" she interrupted with a laugh
I try to finish my statement but she interrupted again with the same but this time adding a 'so' which proceeded the bad.
then she says "good bye, I'll talk with you tomorrow" and hangs up the phone.

good bye


doggy style...Does that mean in the middle of a city owned park? ...well, it really doesn't matter because that's okay, too.
...

I found this pic at work, it's VT, that my truck, my trailer, my shed

what ever what

If you come by my desk and ask me for something like, oh, let's say a red pencil, please do not give up on your request just because I don't find it in the first drawer I look in. You see, I have three drawers in which the red pencils could be and sometimes I guess wrong but if you start to walk away after the first drawer I start to think you really didn't need the red pencil after all. And believe me, I would rather rummage through my drawers then what I usually end up doing otherwise.
...
So, during my mini hamburger roll making, I place the dough to rise in my new Mason Cash 13" mixing bowl and set in on top of the preheating oven, right by the heat vent under the top panel (the top panel is where the clock would be if I hadn't removed the clock). My kitchen keeps cool for the most part, so it's not dough rising friendly but the bowl picks up and distributes the exhast heat nicely, right at 93 degrees farenheit. So I say to one of my housemates "this bowl is my new best friend". That's right, my new best friend is a 13" mixing bowl. And this bowl can go places, places like inside the oven, the microwave, the freezer, the diswasher and it's been in England.

...
So, I'm doing one of those phony paper street name signs that I do because someone is switching to Human Resources and would like a sign that says HUMAN RESOURCES WAY, I type it and see SOUR right in the middle and think that can't be right, so I confer with the dictionary which states that that is the proper spelling but I still don't like it.
...
rummage n.
A confusion of miscellaneous articles.

So I'm reading...

I'm reading other's blogs like I frequently do and this guy says he often uses ellipses and I say "Yes!" that's what they are called.

And, I bet I use them more than you, dude, because I use them incorrectly and haphazardly

So something was remembered today. And what I learned was that *** equals ..., how about that.
...
Oh, Lady G called me regarding the food coloring but for some reason the call went right to the voice mail, and I was notified of such an hour later. She found food coloring and she is using it to dye carnations the color blue. She is testing out stuff for her mother's 60th birthday party.

I don't like silverfish.

Every time I play poker with the guys I'll separate out the money I'm willing to lose from the rest of my pocket money. One reason I do this is to figure out how much I won or lost and also so I will have cab fare home. Every time so far, I have had to use my pocket money to make change or something, so as of yet I have never truly known how much I have won or lost. You would figure I would just count all the money I walk in with, but that solution is just too simple for me.

I do know this, at one point in time I was down at least eighty dollars but after the last hand I had one hundred twelve dollars and seventy-five cents in chips sitting in front of me. I was told I won five out of the last eight hands, the last hands are usually for more money than the beginning hands so it worked to my advantage. I wish I could say it was masterful cardsharking but I think it was mostly dumb luck. The two full houses came in handy.

The selection of beer I brought received a "good choice", the beer brought by me: Coors Original, Harpoon Hibernian Irish Red, and Amstel Light, my three favorite, not necessarily in that order.

I also brought mini hamburgers which were a pain to make but were rather tasty and impressed the wife of our host. Our host for poker this time is the best cook of all of us, so that was a decent complement.

I attempted an additional snack but I wasn't pleased with it ....

I'm at the real estate office and just had a silverfish crawl on my neck, the silverfish is now part of the carpet. Anyway..

The attempted additional appetizer, appealed to me not so it continued to abide at my abode.

Another round of mini burgers made an appearance back at my house today because I had over bought, but it did give me a chance to improve on the home made mini rolls.

My hands still have a faint odor of yeast, even after repeated washings of them and assorted cookware.

I just got a call from Lady G's son asking if I have blue food coloring in the house. Who am I Susy Homemaker?

My check for the r.e. was waiting for me on my chair, unfortunately for me it is unsigned. I could forge it but I don't forge my own checks. It's bad form, even when I have permission from the owner. I don't need the money right now anyway.

So, Saturday and Sunday were both good days for me. I didn't worry about my house. I didn't need to worry about money. I got to spend time with family and friends. I made progress on a better mini hamburger roll. I did however, see one of those furry little buggers crawl through a different hole in the house on Saturday, but I'm putting worrying about that until tomorrow.

Monday I think will bring a new set of problems mostly day job related, which will probably be posted here. If not Monday than early in the week, problems will show up.

I don't like silverfish.

Saturday's Poker Game

I think I may be up almost $40.00 after playing poker, if you don't count the money for beer, snacks and the car service to get me back home. ...I might still be up a couple bucks if those things are counted.

56.527

Poker tomorrow.
So, it's 9:36 ante meridiem and I'm snacking on miniature Snickers.
I believe I may have a problem.
...
Currently, I can spend 56.527 dollars every day of the week after expenses. Of that I spend none of it wisely.
...
"If she had to haul ass it would probably take her two trips"
...
I was most likely called a "wanker" today at 3:01pm Greenwich Mean Time
...
"Is this about the peppers?
...
When I see some of the previous repairs to this house of mine I really want to sit the repairer down to find out what they were thinking. For the life of me I cannot figure some of the things out.

yous gots to be kiddin...Right?

You know that picture of the guy getting trash out of the tree limbs.

Who's the donkey that asked him to do that? The tree guy had to find a device or make a device that could reach tens and tens of feet into the air to try and poke refuse from it's entanglement. It's not an easy thing to do. I think I would have had a different purpose for the pole relating to the guy who had a problem with things in the tree.

A smoke would be great right now.

One of my maps is missing, the map is not important, it was just there to keep people from stealing my clips. I cannot remember which one it was...

later that day the light bulb went on

It was the 345Kv Nstar map.

Now I can worry about other things that don't matter.

...

See, that blog there? That's the web log I wish I could be.

Actually, I could be that if I chose/choose to get a life.

...
My waxing has been waned. I take the round about trip to end up nowhere. Or, is it my waning has been waxed?

Does it matter?

Ever hear that over analysis leads to paralyzes? Well, that's me. ...I hate that saying. I also hate the saying we agree to disagree. No! I will shout. I don't agree to that either. I don't agree to disagree. You need to smarten up and agree with me.

I actually argued the point of disagreeing to agree to disagree, ...the other fellow, he disagreed.

...

If I were to have my own house painting business. I would name it 'Brushes with Greatness'.

...

I got word today, on the q.t., that this department has budgeted to take care of me. That's seems like good news, right? Well, it causes me problems. For years and years, I have heard that the department is trying to take care of me, but yet my business card hasn't needed changing. Also, a differnet department is trying to make room for me there. That different department is making room at a higher than present pay scale but lower than what I'm told will be mine in the near future with this department.

My current department has me doing political crap with some meaningful stuff thrown in, the other department will have me doing less meaningful stuff but no political crap and I would be working for someone I respect.

My guess is that I'll go where the money is, I would like to say that I chase the money to secure my future but I'm afraid that I'm just a money whore.

I would welcome an easy decision any day now, maybe my decisions are easy and I just make them seem hard.

...

"That don't make no sense" - Pete from Oh, Brother Where Art Thou?

...

There are times I wish I had a cigarette, I'll be sitting, thinking and nothing will be coming and I think it would be great if I were dragging on a butt right now, looking like I was pondering some grand notion. Smokers seem to think harder (when they're not all stressing), the long inhale, the holding and the seemingly even longer exhale, all while deep in thought, thinking in depth. There seems to be progress in the solving with every action that a smoker takes.

Pulling, ...holding, ...pushing smoke all while looking you in the eye, while you await a verbal reply.

...umm, what are you going to do?

....I'm working on it. Can't you see me smoking?

Smoking buys you thinking time, you don't need to answer as long as that smoke lasts. And if that ciggy runs out just light another. If I were to sit and 'think' that long without speaking, I would get my head thumped on, melon-style, while being asked "hello, is anybody in there?". But if I'm partaking a Camel unfiltered my inquistors have to wait.

I'm smoking, do not pester me with your impatience. "You need to relax, here have a smoke"

...

How am I? "It's all bubbles and sunshine." fucker.

So, I'm like asking what do you think and then saying thanks, but I don't care. (but I really do care, it's just that I don't want to)

The most senior guy was being told by the commissioner that he is not to use words like, obstruct, difficulties, hardship as well as general synonyms for no fucking way, she tell him he needs to be positive, which makes him negative. He starts to walk away and he asks me how I'm doing and I say "it's all bubbles and sunshine" loud enough for other ears.

...

At lunch today I'm greeted by Lynn, she works the same place as Liz, Lynn says "hey, baby how you doing?". Do I look that easy? Lynn did get a 35.92% tip however.

I scored a Keno hat, it's a fine hat, top quality but what does it say about me if I'm walking around in a Keno hat. "No, I don't have a gambling problem. I just like free hats"

too busy for lunch.

trash picker with ambition


I sometimes get carried away removing signs


"Where's your phone?"
"Right here." says I
so he does the two way feature that Nextel offers and gets a message that informs him "TARGET NOT AVAILABLE" and says "oh, maybe its a bad signal" and does it again.
"I have it shut off, battery's dead"
"The city goes through the expense of a phone and you keep it off?"
"The battery goes dead, I mentioned that before"
so he pages the phone again, he gets the same message and says "O.K. commissioner, I'll tell Tim, he's in the area" does the page again and feigns frustration. He comes up with a few different scenarios some of which are kinda funny. I explain again about the short life of the battery and apologize and state that I had the phone on but the battery ran out but that I did documented when it went off.
"I have it written down, I'll show you the note"
So I start rummaging through all my pockets. Twice.
"No, wait, I have it really. Oh, here it is"
So, I pull my hand out of my pocket and give him the finger.

And we laughed and laughed and laughed

He was really just looking for a lunch partner.

oh..

So, I get to the real estate office after normal hours of operation have past and I have an agent going over stuff with me and there's a knock on the door. It's another agent from another real estate office. I come in late to avoid agents and now I'm getting agents from other offices.

"Hi, I have a p and s for Nancy but I need a copy of the first two pages"
"Alright" I take the purchase and sale agreement and proceed to the copier.
"I was wondering how I was going to drop this off"
"Yeah, you got lucky"
"I'm so and so, I don't think I've seen you before" I would fill in her name but I forgot it.
"I've been around longer than dirt but now I only come in at night. So, you probably wouldn't have seen me but you might have heard my name taken in vain."
"oh, longer than dirt" said almost like a question but not quite

oh indeed


...I think the squirrel story is so much nicer.

well..yeah..umm...

That little furry imp, the one I had hoped was out of the house before I sealed him in, well, you see, he was still in, in the house.

So, I get home after the day job, I go to the roof to check to see if anything has been fussing about with my repair.

Good news, looks like nothing was fussing. (that seems to kinda rhyme to me but how can it?)

So, I go back inside and there is the heathliest, largest, fittest squirrel scampering up a wall, a wall that has been stripped to the wooden lathe.

It looks like my unpaying tenant now prefers the outside over the inside and is trying to figure out how to pass through a window. I open one window on an adjacent wall and pop the screen off and then open the one the squirrel was trying to utilize. The squirrel didn't care for my assistance and left the area. I was trying to watch the doorway but...yeah, I took my eyes off the doorway and umm...I'm hoping he went out the window I opened first, cause I couldn't find him.

And why is there no door to this room?

Oh, well.

What's with the scampering noise?

Maybe I dwell on the miscellany to keep from thinking about more serious things. Like the state of decline in which I see the world.
...

I like eating off of real plates, one reason for this is sometimes I feel guilty throwing away a paper plate but yet I will leave the house with a paper cup with a plastic lid for my coffee. I do have a travel mug but that doesn't travel much.
...

I think I am going to change my scheduling to monthly or bi-weekly, I'm finding hard to squeeze the things I need to do/want to do into seven days. I need to schedule days off, by days off I mean the time after my regular work day, there are times I just hang around the house doing mostly nothing because I had put in long hours the day before. Tuesdays are usually and Thursdays are always long days, so I justify doing nothing on Wednesdays and Fridays. Saturday is the only full day I have for me so I push stuff to do onto Sunday, so Sunday is usually a full day so I take Mondays off. So, I take too many days off usually watching the Discovery Channel, the History Channel or the Learning Channel.
...
I've become an intellectual lightweight.

Was I ever anything different?
...
The world is a player and the player wants to play you. The world wants you as its dupe, its gull, its mark, its patsy.
...
So, I'm working on the next big project and one on the most senior guys in title and years of service comes over.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing" says I
"Don't change the signs codes. ...What is an R-2 going to be?"
"That's a good question, either an R6-1L or an R6-1R."
"That's stupid, don't do it"
"I'm just doing what I'm told. I stopped looking for meaning in his job awhile ago. I just keep my head down and let the bullshit fly"

Which isn't true and he knows it, he was just feeling me out. I still speak out against things I think are meaningless but I have my own style of dealing with it. From what I hear, there is high motivation from the top for the new project. So, it's going to happen. I can rail against it all I want and it won't make a difference.

So, the plan is to let it build momentum and then give it a push in the proper direction so that maybe something usable will come from it. On the plus side, I'm pretty certain I'll be able to at least get a better computer out of this deal. My m.o. is to show them something and say this is what you can get but I can't do it on this machine. "Where did you get this?" will be asked. "I did it at home" will be the reply.

Yeah, that's right. I can do stuff like this at home but yet this 'world class' city's engineering division cannot. (the 'you should be embarrassed' will be implied)

Another motive is to let the senior guy think I'm staying out of this one so that he will have to step up to the plate. He's a better hitter than I am. So, now he knows he has to be the lead if he wants something done but I'll get his back if the time comes.
...
The orange wire nut is gone. It lasted thirty eight days. Mr. Bozo Busybody is back from vacation, maybe he took it.
...
I sometimes wonder if my little world would even skip half a beat if I were to disappear.
...
Red Hot Atomic Fireballs are on sale at CVS. Buy one get one for a penny. Mike and Ike's are on sale as well.
...
I think Skunky is dead.

Two weeks ago there was a dead skunk in the street about 300 yards from my house. Since then, I haven't seen or smelt my crazy backyard skunk.

What is weird is that I miss the skunk.
...
Someone is beating the crap out of the network printer. When the beatings get this loud the beater will usually continue until professional repairs will be needed and they will affix a 'BROKEN' note.
...
How dangerous is it to chew upon Red Hot Atomic Fireballs?

Chewing hard candy is one of my vices.
...
Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.
- Thomas Carlyle

Just only being a part time scoundrel is the best I do, some days.
...

I escaped to the field today, the field is pretty much screwed.

Came back and dude told me his chipped a tooth on one of the Atomic Fireballs.

The roofing tar is in the basement? Great!

Friday night, phone rings.
"Hello"
"Tim it's *your supervisor*, how are you?"
"I'm good"
"You probably think I'm an asshole but I didn't forget about the twenty you gave me at lunch"
"What?" I had forgotten at the Bar & Grill I left earlier than the others and my supervisor thought he might be short so I gave him a twenty.
"The twenty you gave me, I was playing Keno at the Elks and hit for twenty and remembered the twenty you gave me."
"Don't worry about it"
"But I do"
"Well, don't. I had forgotten about it."
"I'll give it to you next week"
"Okay" said with as much 'forget about it' as I could muster

After work, sometimes my supervisor and I will partake of an offer for $1.50 pints from a local establishment, after three to five rounds we head our separate ways. My supervisor will almost always pick up the tab, I will even have my money out first and hand it to the barkeep but he will have the barkeep return my money to me. Yet he worries about the double sawbuck.

I carry stamps, postage stamps, right in my wallet, I'm a dork like that, anyway my supervisor knows this and he'll ask to buy stamps from me to save him the trip. I'll be like just take 'em but he won't he has to buy them.

Hey, *my supervisor* I'm not going to hold the thirty seven cents over your head. How many beers do you buy me? They probably think I'm your bitch.

Last Friday, my supervisor, who is trying the Akins Diet, was drinking Vodka Tonics, which is a very nice drink, Vodka Tonics because beers have carbs, I think he had four at six point five apiece. Youch!

...

Tang and Tonic, is one of my other libations of choice mainly cause I think it's cool to order and it tastes like booze, sometimes I like the booze. Usually at social events, I'll order the gin drink, unless I think it will make folks judge me uncouth if I drink beer from a bottle. When that's the case I will sometimes grab a beer for each hand. Pardon me, if I don't shake, my hands are full.

...


So, I leave my space to fetch a juice, I'm thinking cranberry straight up, juices are on the floor number one, on the way down the elevator stops on five, doors open, then nothing. Nothing, which is followed by two guys each yielding for each other until the doors start to close. So, both these guys are jackasses in my book, just step onto the elevator. I have juice to buy.

...

I got hooked on cranberry juice when I was just a wee lad. Some of my earliest memories are of me in a hospital, kidney troubles, troubles which could be helped by drinking cranberry juice. A portion of my cranberry juice drinking in the present, is partnered with Vodka.

...

But when I sing my darling's praise
I know I'm right, or close anyways
...

So, I get an email, please update this attached file by March 8, 2004, the message gets me a bit pissed but hey, that's my job, updating stuff. I'm not certain as to why the message bothers me, the assignment is not difficult. So, I'm doing the assignment and a planner comes over, just hovering about, looking around my space. I acknowledge his presence and I'm asked "do you have that tracing paper, still?".

Dude, look at this cube, you returned that tracing paper last Thursday, I don't have the room to be storing infrequently used items in my cube. Why didn't you hang onto it until you were done with your foolishness. "I put it away" is what was said with some attitude to let him know my displeasure. If he asked if he could use the tracing paper again or something similar, I would not have been irritated. If he just asked the same question without examining my entire area, I would not be irritated. I expect too much from this planner and I let the little things bother me.

My irritation is more my fault than his and that irritates me.

...

There is a squirrel living in my eaves. He was giving me attitude because I was producing more noise than he preferred, or maybe he felt I was encroaching on his territory. I'll be up the roof later today.

Sometimes when I'm watching the squirrels, I'll determine how easy it would be to shot them. I'm not a bad shot.

When the DC sniper thing was happening, folks were like "Oh, he must be a trained sniper" and I'm like, pleeeez, I could have made all those shots with scope. As it turns out it was just some regular guys messed up in the head who put minimal thought into the whole process. Not some trained masterplanner. It's not the formally trained demented I have worries about.

Don't worry about the squirrels, they are safe. I have trouble eating meat sometimes if I think too long on from whence it comes. So, I can't picture myself actually shootings the furry tailed rats. ...Although I have shot a rat but that a different story.

...

Hey, Tim, come here, ...your girlfriend is very nice.
Thanks. I have a lot to do with that.

...

I didn't go to the real estate office this weekend so when I got off the subway, I had a message on my cell phone asking when I would be in.

After I deal with the squirrel issue.


the squirrel issue - about 36 inches of chewed up stuff


the issue being address by some guy with a gut


the sloppy fix but chew through that you furry bastard

I hope that bugger was out of the house.

So I clean off the roofing tar with paint thinner and receive a splitting headache, maybe because of the vapors, maybe a combination of things but a headache none the less. I grab my cell phone which has a habit of shutting off, like it was and there is another message waiting, another agent. Sheeeeit.

I get something to eat on the way to the real estate office so I don't pass out, I forget to get gasoline and I find out that I got some roofing tar on my jeans.

Other than that things are great, the headache is trying to make a comeback. I think I'm just going to finish the one important thing which is a market analysis and then leave. I have issues with how the information was left for me but I'm done complaining for now.

Oh yeah, for some reason I put the roofing tar in the basement, maybe I wanted a workout lugging a fifty pound bucket up to the roof.