So,...

I was thinking about videoing another lameass joke and posting it and I was also thinking that it was going to start with me saying "So" and then I thought I would explain that I most always just start my talking with a so. The so breaks the silence.

but that's not what I was going to write about right now.

So, the routine is that after my area gets subjected to high winds, I'll walk around the house to see how many tree branches have come down. Fortunately, I have to date not see any branches down due to high wind storms. I have however seen a couple heavy tree limbs come down and for what reasons, I don't know.

That's not actually true, one was ants and the other rot and growing like a spaz. I don't know what the technical term for when a tree grows like a spaz but I have a couple trees that are doing that even as I type this, they are beech trees. I don't like 'em much.

Anyway, one limb took out a section of my fence and the other limb was caught by the limbs of another tree and if that other tree hadn't have been there the limb would have smashed the neighbor's garage, with deft and skill I was able to cut the fallen limb, safely.

Okay, it was mostly luck, only small twigs and leaves ended up on the neighbor's property. And, I awoke to this situation on a Saturday morning, so I had the whole day to take care of it, even though it only took about an hour and a half.

So, my luck so far has been pretty good. I just thought you might want to know.


So, here's the joke (because I don't think it's going to make it to video).

A farmer walks into his kitchen carrying a sheep that is wearing lipstick and a dress. He sees his wife and says "This is the pig I've been cheating on you with." His wife looks over at him and says "That's not a pig, it's a sheep" to which the farmer replies "I was talking to the sheep"

So, I dropped by with a small box of pastry, napoleons to be exact, early in the month we had a discussion about whether they were called napoleons or neapolitans. I really didn't know so I looked it up on the internet when I got back to work. I am a little bit obsessive compulsive. I found out they were called napoleons.

She's been telling everyone that tomorrow is her birthday but she's not going to be working tomorrow because she has a wedding to go to.

I figured what's the point in telling everyone that it's your birthday if nobody gets you anything.

She gave me a hug.


...

I frequently tell her that her best friend who is also a bartender is my favorite so sometimes she likes to give me grief.

I was enjoying a pint when she leaned across the bar and said "HA! This is how important you are, she just asked me if Timmy came in today. She didn't even see you sitting there"

The one that asked about me came over and told me she was sorry she didn't see me. I told her "thanks for asking though"

I was sitting with a friend from work we work slightly different shifts so we're rarely at the bar together. I was drinking beer but he asked what other types of drinks did I enjoy. I just laughed and called over to Jen.

"Jerry wants to know what I like after I stop drinking beer"

"Timmy likes it everything" she said with a laugh as she started to name several types of hard liquor.

Sometimes, it's nice to be know but sometimes it's better to be know for something nice.

I did end up helping with the move. I showed up at 11AM and had a shot of Patron* with them. This happenstance is a little bit more interesting when you know that the guy I was helping to more is an associate pastor to a local church and that I was drinking the night before.


*Patrón Silver is crystal clear, pure ultra premium tequila. This light, fresh tequila is a favorite of tequila connoisseurs worldwide. Many prefer this smooth, soft and light tequila over an aged and slightly oaky flavor. Patrón Silver is the perfect ingredient in your favorite margarita or in your favorite mixed cocktail. It is also delicious neat or on the rocks. (from http://www.patronspirits.com)

She was at the party I hadn't seen her for awhile, we were talking by ourselves.

Sometimes, I'll just let a conversation die. Sometimes, I have no choice, I just run out of things to say but others times it's deliberate. I do it just to see what happens.

The topic of discussion was running its course, things were slowing down, on the last thing she said I just nodded when I could have said something. She picked up the conversation again and she ended up getting me a bowl of clam chowder.

She's a beautiful woman, smart and funny. I'm careful not to wink at her because I think that is all it would take to change our casual relationship. Her attention flatters me. She has only had me in small doses. I'm best in small doses.

I try to keep my charm under control but my humor runs rampant. I'm careful not to look her in the eye for too long. I'm careful because there are times I want to wink.

I'm best in small doses.

The going away party was today. They leave this Thursday.

"Maybe Tim will come by and help us move again"

She said it not as a request for help but as an acknowledgement of me helping out in the past. At first I couldn't remember helping them move. I could only remember helping them fix up the house but then it came to me.

I forget a lot of things.

I'll miss them but probably in time, I'll forget them as well.

the flip side is you don't have to write poems to be poetic

we started talking about haikus

and then poetry

and then paying $1500 to enter beauty pageant

and then paying to have your poetry published in a book

I put the word poetry in air quotes. I have a sister that fancies herself a poet and some "publisher" approached her and offered to publish some of her work for a fee. I think the guy making the offer was about as much a real publisher as much as my sister is a real poet.

"I think she may write poems but I wouldn't say that she writes poetry" is what another sister said.

I said "That may be true"

mi familia sometimes ain't all that familiar

Some of them I hadn't seen for maybe twenty years, cousins, aunts, uncles, whatnot's

a room full of relatives, some distant, a lot not

My mom was already there because when your brother dies you're kind of expected to be there early.

"I hear the girls love you"

"I keep getting asked who the good looking guy is and they point at you"

"You're like the man version of the twelve year old Timmy"

I was there for two hours. I didn't say much

"I haven't seen you for a while"

"Yeah, I've been trying to cut down on things"

"I thought maybe you weren't coming by because I wasn't interesting enough"

"No, that's not it at all"

"Or maybe because I didn't get your fries done like you like them, because someone told me you like your fries well done"

The mere fact that all the bartenders know how I like my fries is the reason I haven't been seen as much.

They also know that I like my drinks in a glass, even after they have changed over to plastic cups, if the dishwasher is still running I like a glass and by that time I've moved on from beer to cocktails and or shots so I don't mind asking for the favor of a glass.

so, I've been cutting down on things - mostly boozing - and not because I think I have a problem with booze but it's just that a lot of time and money seemed to disappear at the favorite bar & grille, more time and money than I could easily justify. I couldn't see a purpose to it other than to avoid doing something else, so I've been cutting down. Not that I've been doing anything else other than watching the History Channel (Boston had the first modern sewer system)


three 10oz beers are 30 ounces

three 16oz beers are 48 ounces

three 10oz beers three times a week are 90 ounces

three 16oz beers five times a week are 240 ounces

So, I'm not there everyday like I worked myself up to and I've changed what I've been ordering.

Yesterday, the bartender bought my lunch. Today, the bartender bought my drinks.

I should stay away more.

on the subway platform I spied a Pink-spotted hawkmoth (Agrius cingulata)


or so I think because the region map (for Massachusetts) indicates that these giant flying insects are only found down the Cape and I was most definately in a Boston neighborhood.

An uncle died this past Tuesday

His death notice was in the daily paper today, I had to find it by looking under deaths by town.

I never knew his last name. He was always Uncle Johnny. He was my mom's older half brother. My mom's mom was a widow that remarried.

My mom's dad was a drunk, he was a mean drunk.

I'm glad being a mean drunk doesn't run in the family.

I'm a happy drunk.

I will out asshole you. I'm a pro at it

if you're being an asshole and standing in the way when you don't have to and you should know better I will knock into you because I'm an even bigger asshole.

most of my quests for justice are really just methods of revenge

I was riding the elevator compiling a check list of the stuff I ate yesterday and the list started with pumpkin cake which was followed (sometime later) by three beers, there were some other things consumed but I stopped the list because my mind went elsewhere.

I thought - pumpkin cake? PUMPKIN CAKE?! Is there even such a thing as pumpkin cake? (I kinda knew there was but I like giving myself a hard time)

I didn't have pumpkin cake yesterday. I had a piece of carrot cake with a frosting carrot on it that looked like it was deposited on the cake from the tail end of some thing that was eating Flamin Hot Cheetos in the recent past.



I've come to the conclusion that I like the sensation of cream cheese frosting more than I like the taste of cream cheese frosting.

He had mentioned in the meeting about the 2.1 million dollar fund that was established. He mentioned how my family and I were involved.

During my escape after the meeting, a couple people caught me and told me that the fund was a good thing. He caught me on the walk way.

"I hope I didn't embarrass you" he said

"No. You didn't"

I wasn't embarrassed I was just reminded of something that failed.

pirates we may be

our thoughts are rape and pillage

a parrot we need

I sit at my desk

days ago yesterday seems

the boredom remains

very bad haiku

yes that is what I will do

and victimize you

I'm almost bored enough to write bad haiku

I think I'm done with today

I think I probably trashed yesterday

I think I have worries about tomorrow


that first line was typed because I was bored

those other lines are bullshit

to me it's like a vandal saying fuck vandalism

what were you looking to get out of it anyway?

She presented the card with the logo on it, and told me what was desired. She explained that the owner had approved what she was requesting.

I always get a kick out of when folks drop the owner's name like it a magical password that will get their requests granted. The owner may have approved the work to be done but that doesn't mean I have to do it. It merely means that I can do it if I wish to do it.

She further explained that it's a fall event and it should look fall-like and she offered some design ideas.

"But the owner says you can do whatever you want because she says she likes the things you do"

I just smiled because her inflection hinted that she didn't like the things that I do ...which makes at least two of us.

I don't think any of her design ideas are going to be in the final product.

I was riding the shopping cart to my truck like I always do when I'm alone and I noticed her watching me. She was a slight older woman walking with a limp, when I reached the bed of my truck she called to me.

"I'm not crazy or nothing..." I think she also explained she wasn't a rapist which wasn't really a worry of mine but...

She wanted a ride to her house or to a location that was close to her house which was about a quarter mile away. She was obviously in pain.

My shopping cart was mostly fully.

"I don't think I will have room for you with all this stuff" I explained as a motioned to the cart. She walked off to try someone else.

I ended up putting my eggs at risk while I packed my plastic shopping bags behind both seats. There ended up being room so I looked for where she was and noticed she was walking back towards me. I drove her to her door in a mixed income housing development. She told me a tale of woe of how her daughter wasn't around like she was supposed to be, how she couldn't get medicine without a prescription, how she was suffering from two sources of pain, how she was alone.

I didn't say much. I was just a chauffeur.

So, I went in early because I wanted to leave early and also because I was hoping people would have some information for me.

I found no info but no worries because that means an easy day, I finished all the pressing stuff and I started thumbing through some of my clipart collections, I was looking for a leaf.

I was looking for a leaf for an invite for an upcoming fall event and while I was looking I heard someone call my name. She was peeking into my second floor office from the stairs in such a way that only her head was showing at the bottom of the doorway.

"Tim?"

"Yup"

"I hate to bother you but I smell smoke…" that's is usually enough to pique my interest and to garner my attention but she continued "…and I asked the owner's nanny and she said she smelled smoke too…" she went on as I was traversed the stairs. I was wondering how much convincing she thought I was going to need.

I went to the basement and was greeted with a hovering layer of thin white-gray smoke. Whatever had caused the smoke had since stopped smoking.

There isn't much in the basement to cause smoke: the HVAC system, a water heat, a dehumidifier, the phone system, the network hub (I suppose). The smell was like a motor burned out which narrowed the choices. I opened the HVAC unit and felt the blower fan. I thought –Bingo.

All the while the original smoke smeller stayed on the stairs. I checked the other equipment and nothing else seemed wrong.

"I'm glad you were here, fire worries me. Thanks"

I am still amazed at how apologetic she was for disturbing me.

You can bother me with concerns of the building burning down anytime.

the cheeseburger club was on special

I don't think having a glass or two of wine at lunch is a big deal

I don't think swapping beer for the wine is a big deal either

I don't think skipping the food at lunch is a big deal

I don't think having one or two others is a big deal

I don't think there is a problem

The truth is I'm really not that lazy. I just have a strong distaste for my own mundane.

Laundry can wait just like mowing the lawn but if the neighbor needs help with some of his yard work, I'm on it.

Same with work, I don't like the day to day, I want the special. I want the special and I want it to be over quickly. If it's special and runs for a long time, I do not like it so much.

dude complains about a $6.00 sandwich/hoagie/sub/poboy being too expensive

if the sandwich is good - that's not such a bad deal

I tend to procrastinate

procrastinate to the point of no return

I tend to do that because I lack challenges

I lack challenges because I'm mostly lazy

so I make the easy stuff - hard

make it hard by waiting too long



"I did this in two days" I'll point out

"Yeah, but you had all month" will be counter pointed


tomorrow there is a deadline - it's crunch time

but if things don't get done tomorrow, there is always the next day


I have a great blank stare


I've survived worse than this

and that's my main problem


my survivability has made me arrogant

sit the fuck down when you're on the phone

...

I let the coverage lapse

and the bank didn't like it

so I went to re-up

and dude said "Holy Shit! It's been three years"


sometimes I just don't care

...

I'm tired of hearing other people's dramas that aren't all that dramatic

mostly I'm just some act

"What have I become?"

I ask myself that question all the time.

I asked myself that question when I was told I would be getting a raise in one week and then another raise a month after that, when I saw the bottom line I thought "Damn, that's a lotta dough"

The answer I get is that I'm not as good as I used to be but the thing is - I really haven't changed.

I wasn't as good as my memory pretends.

I wasn't as caring.

I wasn't as socially conscience.

I wasn't as generous.

I wasn't as smart.

I wasn't as quick.

The question to the answer - was I as good as I thought I was?

And that answer - no.

The core of me is the same

same beliefs

same reflexes

same abilities

But my history contains some achievements

grand feats that really I find not so grand

things I did just because they came my way

things I never sought out

things that came about just because of dumb luck...

what have I become? I'm not certain what I was

There is this proverb against arguing with a fool.

I usually ignore that proverb.

Report Rates Boston as Most Expensive City

HA!

take that New York

writer

writer

writer

writer

writer

writer


Thanks from just some reader

...

So, I was handed cash on the subway today. The cash was a gratuity for I favor I did. I usually don't like taking cash but sometimes it's just easier on everyone to let there be some sort of favor returned.

So, coffee was one me... or rather her, I guess.


...

I look worn today.

I fell worn today.

I am worn today.


...

pardon my lack of enthusiasm for your good idea because your good idea creates more work for me and I don't think your bang is gonna be worth my buck.

-just more work related crap

labored day

I was standing there at my grill, the grill on my deck, my deck off the back of my house, I looked to the right over my yard at my newly constructed shed and then back at my grill. On the grill, a whole package of all beef hot dogs being cooked slowing, too many dogs for the amount of people around.

I thought of how delicately my easy life passes from day to day. I was sure someone, in some back yard, in some corner of New Orleans had been doing something similar a little over a week ago.

I did my best to stop thinking after that

i'm like a gateway drug, sometimes

I have vast and various skills and I say that not to brag because most of my abilities are mediocre at best but something I like about my 'talents' is that sometimes folks ask me things, sometimes ask me to do a thing, sometimes just ask me for info.

I do a lot of desktop publishing stuff. I've done invites, magnets, brochures, save the date cards, water bottle designs, huge multimillion dollar presentations, seating plans, Christmas cards, posters, and some other things I forget. Sometimes, I'll show people what I did or how I do a thing to demonstrate that anybody can do it. Sometimes, folks will use that new found knowledge and show me something that they did and that I really don't like but who am I to judge. But other times, and more often than not, people will show me things better than anything I had ever done.

I showed my sister something and she started doing it and now her designs kick my designs' ass but don't tell her I said that and another lady started up a part-time home business.

And that's pretty damn cool, if you ask me.

Oh yeah, and then I steal their designs.

I used to hate my home town

I didn’t like its reputation

I didn’t like its personality

I saw my town as an outsider would see it

I witnessed what I read in the papers

I was there to hear the stories

but then one day

my town whispered to me

“I don’t like this me either”

my town further explained

it wasn’t always this way

but then it isn’t really this way now

stop seeing the people

the users

the abusers

the misconstruers

my town explained it used to fight

it used to defend it bright shining polish

but there was just too much

scrap off this crud of present day

dig a little deeper

get past the dingy facade

I’m still here

just dig a little deeper

“I don’t like me either”

my town continued to explain

“it wasn’t always this way”

“but then”

“it’s really not me that we dislike”

“it’s you”

do you have time?

The interest is gone for the things I have, this time

Most of what I have I wanted at one time

I want what I don't have, most times

The interest in those things will go too, in time

I tire of your talk

just do it

go ahead and bring it because you cannot hurt me

you cannot deliver a blow greater than those self inflicted