"What have I become?"

I ask myself that question all the time.

I asked myself that question when I was told I would be getting a raise in one week and then another raise a month after that, when I saw the bottom line I thought "Damn, that's a lotta dough"

The answer I get is that I'm not as good as I used to be but the thing is - I really haven't changed.

I wasn't as good as my memory pretends.

I wasn't as caring.

I wasn't as socially conscience.

I wasn't as generous.

I wasn't as smart.

I wasn't as quick.

The question to the answer - was I as good as I thought I was?

And that answer - no.

The core of me is the same

same beliefs

same reflexes

same abilities

But my history contains some achievements

grand feats that really I find not so grand

things I did just because they came my way

things I never sought out

things that came about just because of dumb luck...

what have I become? I'm not certain what I was