Wednesday, January 28, 2004

My Friends' Opinion

Last night, I walked into the real estate office and a friend said “there’s the only stable man in my life”. I thought, you are really screwed up.

I got a ride to the train station today from the most affluent resident in the neighborhood, maybe not the most affluent but he's up there, he could have drove right by me and I wouldn’t have noticed, but he stopped. I usually enjoy the walk, I get to gather my thoughts but I hopped in the crown vic because I appreciated the thought. I met the one who drove through a friend, someone needed help, help that could be trusted, they chose me. This driver afforded me trust on the word of our mutual friend, he didn’t know me, I hadn’t earned his trust but he gave it none the less. When the job was done we went our ways, we live in the same neighborhood but in different worlds, he has no reason for my acquaintance now. The job was a one time thing.

There are no style points being associated with me but when he’s going by and I’m moving the lawn or something he makes it a point to stop and not just wave. He freely says “I like you, Timmy”. I prefer not to be called Timmy but it seems that is what those who know me use when they’re saying something personal.

Sometimes, I need to like Timmy more.

I read a quote that basically defined a friend as someone who sees right through you but enjoys the view anyway. What a sappy piece of corny crap. I thought about my friends, they don’t know the real me, my quiet thoughts, what I truly think.

They might not know exactly but if they have spent anytime at all with me, they can certainly guess.

The point of all this? Sometimes it is best if I trust my friends’ opinion of myself even if I disagree because to think I’m fooling any of them with my façade would be rather arrogant on my part.

I’m not that good at pretending.

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