Maybe someday I'll get it

Regina talks about the difference between self-esteem and confidence.

She and I have had this discussion before.

I usually hit the dictionary when I'm debating issues with myself such as this.

Esteem equals worth, value, opinion, judgement. Confidence equals trust, faith.

Low self-esteem but high confidence.

Is it that you have faith in your abilities but think your abilities aren't worth much? Or do you separate your abilities from who you are as a person? Which is what I do for myself, it seems.

I separate my deeds from who I am, even though you can often judge a person's worth by their deeds. I know my heart and sometimes my heart doesn't match my deeds.

My deeds are usually more generous than my heart.

I'm not certain where I fit on the self-esteem scale maybe that's part of my problem. I think I can be highly prized, but from day to day, I'm most likely just some shmuck. I don't live up to my potential.

I also think that if I can do a thing then everyone else can do that same thing. After all, if I can do it, how hard can it be? So, I'm confident in my abilities but those abilities don't impress me much.

I judge myself harder than I judge others.

This gets talked out here because sometimes I don't understand my own thoughts.