"So where's your girlfriend?" When ever I'm asked that by the bartenders they don't actually mean my girlfriend, that's just how they refer to someone I was sucking face with once.

"She actually doesn't bother me much. If there is a seat next to me she'll sit there but otherwise she stays down the other end of the bar."

"That's because she feels you rejected her. So she's playing hard to get. She thinks she can get anyone. She's a fine piece of ass."

"A well traveled ass."

"That's not always bad. She'd probably be the best blow job you would ever have. It would be worth the aids."