Sometimes I'm like "You owe me, Bitch!" and other times I'm like "Hey, thanks for the ride. It was more than I deserved" and I'm not certain what precipitates each phrase.

...

"Do you know Excel?"

"Yeah but why?" I knew the real question wasn't about me knowing Excel

"Because the formulas are gone."

I often wonder how much of a delay people notice from when they expect a reply from me and when I actually begin speaking because often my mind gets flooded with too many replies, most of which are smartass remarks and I have to push them all aside before I can give a proper answer.

"The formulas must be on an old one." The formula is probably fifty characters long.

"Nope. I checked and it's not there."

"It has to be" I said but received no reply so I added "There has to be at least one old file of some property in there that has the formula."

"Oh, on a file that is already filled out? I didn't think of that."

I just walked away

...

There are moments I think I'm not bound by time.

There are finished happenings that seem to prove my minutes tick a little different.

But it never was a trick of time.

It was cunning and effort.

It was just a time allusion.

I'm slowly losing my cunning and my effort wanes.

Time is kicking my ass



crackerjack

-slang, probably from crack - first rate + jack


sometimes it's the brevity of a pointed sentence or phrase

but sometimes it's the choice of words


jimdandy

informal Jim(nickname for James) + dandy


...

perfect don't always equal pretty

is how it is heard inside my head

even though I know it ain't correct


...

I don't know why people's self absorption still surprises me.

Maybe I couldn't answer the phone in four rings because I was in the other room faxing something.

Maybe I've got my own shit going on.

Maybe I needed to attend to something for the boss of your boss's boss.