Getting Steamed - The way I remember

Four days before Melissa was to arrive in Boston I bought a clothes steamer. I bought a clothes steamer because Melissa said only dumb & wasteful people use irons. She said that she could steam a shirt in a minute and nineteen seconds and have it free of wrinkles for seven and a half months even after it went through the wash. She also mentioned that the way I did my laundry made it appear that I was some sort ignoramus.

So, anyway, I bought a clothes steamer, the best I could buy and I tried it out and I had limited success.

A day before Melissa was to arrive in Boston she asked me to bring the steamer so that she could steam the wrinkles out of her clothes. I said there will be an iron there and she said, "What?! Am I dumb and wasteful?" I said, "No Mame." So, she had me bring it to where we would be staying so she could use it and also so she could train me on how to use it.

She assured me that she would be very patient with me because she understood that I was a man and that men know absolutely nothing about clothing and that we're hard to train.

So, I brought the steamer, and on day one I had a shirt I needed to get the wrinkles out of and I asked, "Melissa, will you please help me steam my shirt so that I can look good for you?" I believe her response was, "I'm not your mother or your maid and it is going to take a whole lot more than getting the wrinkles out of your rags to make you look good."

Things like that went on for basically four days until finally I tried to use the steamer myself. I tried and tried to get the wrinkles out but I could just not get as good as results with the steamer as I could with an iron and that is when the beatings began.

I eventually had a little bit of skill so graciously beaten into me that Melissa was able to take in laundry from the surrounding rooms to have me steam the wrinkles out of and to make herself some money.

She never actually steamed any of her clothes that I know of but possibly she did, I really don't know because most of the time she forced me into the wardrobe where I was forced to sleep standing up.

Wardrobe where I was allowed to sleep