Hold onto your socks

My brand new snow thrower weighs 185 lbs and it's not a pleasant experience getting it into the back of my truck. There was a sign by the snow throwers that said 10% off any snow thrower bought today and another sign two feet away that said 10% off snow throwers all this weekend with coupon. I pointed out the difference to the lawn and garden section guy and explained that I don't have a coupon. He then told me "I have the coupons." That's great! I saved $71.50.

My mandolin, yesterday, was approximately 50 miles from my house. I might get it today.

...

Labels that once fit don't quite fit anymore.

...

I was asked to find a light green and an orange bandana. I found out that both A.C. Moore and Michael's have bandana sections, near the t-shirt sections. I found an orange one but I couldn't find a light green one, so regular green had to do.

At A.C. Moore I'm asked what I am making. I had the bandanas and two dark green t-shirts (on sale), I said I was just sent to get things and she starts telling me how her husband would never be able to get things like this and how his Italian mother ruined him.

Lady, I just want the bandanas.

I think I'll start wearing bandanas.