Finish sminish...

Bottom line is I care more about others than I care about myself. Or maybe it’s a more accurate statement if I were to say I do more for others than I do for myself. I’ll give you my ticket to the show if I know you would like to go.

I made a surprise visit to the r.e. office and what came up was that I should buy myself a new computer because the one I use is the worst in the office, which is true. I was told that the owner affords to me carte blanche, so I should just pick myself up one, which is true. I don't because sometimes money is tight.

And at times, that is what I have tried to change, to make my life easier but I don't.

I cannot convince myself that I assist other out of kindness. The best reason I can come up with is that I’m a showoff. When you give away a hundred dollar ticket like you were passing on a coupon for a free Krispie Kream donut, I would have to say that is showing off.

The other reason, maybe, is I’m arrogant, or is that part of the same reason. I have a your-problems-are-easy-to-fix attitude, here let me help.

I can accept both of those reasons. The one that I have most trouble with is maybe I’m a nice guy and I don’t know why that bothers me. I’m the namesake of someone’s firstborn, someone who isn't blood, someone who owes me nothing, that should mean something, shouldn’t it?

What it means to me is that I have no excuses for being an ass. Folks have seen in me something I choose not to see in myself. I’m better than I choose to be (or see myself) as of late and that is something I need to change.

So, here’s to change. It’s been happening slowly but at least it’s happening. Maybe, I’ll shoot to have a girl named after me next. It will not be the first girl named Timothy that I know.

Will that be showing off?