I was placing the prosciutto and mozzarella filled croissants in the oven when my sister asked a question.

"And why don't you get beat up?"

I played poker with the guys on Saturday. I like to eat while I drink and play cards so I like to bring food that I like to eat. I brought the prosciutto filled croissants.

"These are unbelievable. It's unbelievable that you can cook stuff like this" one of my buddies said.

"The only thing involved is rolling. You just roll the cheese and ham up in a Pilsbury croissant."

"What do you call these? Calzones?"

"Well, they're actually croissants, meat filled croissants."

"Oh. Well I'm gonna call them calzones."

"I don't give a shit what you call them."

The guy says everything is unbelievable and once someone told him he had to start believing more.

"Dollar fifty drafts and free food, that unbelievable. You gotta be kidd'n me."

Well for the past two years we've been drinking dollar fifty drafts and from 4-7PM weekdays we've watched them put out free food, I think you should start believing.

I cannot sit directly next to him anymore at the card games because he drives me crazy.

A different buddy has recently started working out and part of his workout routine is no drinking. He's lost twelve pound in three weeks but his new found healthy ways aren't really conducive to occasional heavy drinking. He ended up napping on the couch.