"Timmy, you didn't have to move."

"They looked like important people."

"That's my brother and his boyfriend," she air quoted boyfriend.

I smiled and she said "Thank you." It was my favorite seat but I figured two seats over would serve me just as good.

I forget how she ended up sitting to the right of me. The regular that had occupied that seat was now standing behind her right shoulder. We started with some small talk which I have forgotten all of, then as she was leaving for a smoke she asked if I would mind her beer.

"Sure, I'll do my best."

"Can I trust you?"

"I think you can and they all know me," I said with a wave towards the three bartenders.

"Good because once when I was up the street, someone put something in my drink and I couldn't remember five hours after that."

I wanted to say 'holy shit' not so much because it was a horrible thing but because my guess that she might be a little left of center seemed to be getting a confirmation; What I did say was "That's not good."

She looked like a cross between Christina Ricci and Angelina Jolie. Her speech was a calm slow. She told me she was twenty eight and name was Dawn.

"I wouldn't mind taking you home with me," She said as she sat back down but I didn't take it as an actual offer. It seemed to me she was just being polite; offering a verbal reward for keeping an eye on her beer and her purse.

"I think it important to show that sometimes you can trust people."

"I do trust you."

"Thanks," I said as I wondered why.

"I'd give you my number if I thought you would call," she said as she grabbed my left hand. "No ring, you're not married?"

"Nope."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes," I half lied. She's more of a girlfriend in spirit. And this spiritual girlfriend was in the middle of giving me forty days of birthday celebration, I thought it would be disrespectful to her to leave the bar with someone even though our twenty year relationship has seen boyfriends, girlfriends, kids and a husband and has been mostly unchanged since high school.

"I'm sorry, I was flirting with you. It was wrong of me."

I had been there for over five hours, people were buying me drinks and I was reciprocating and I may have had more than usual which is often the case when people buy me drinks. I may have let her go too far. I may have led her on a bit. I was having a hard time reading her. I didn't know if she was fishing for drinks, just being friendly or looking for a one night stand. I did know that latter wasn't going to happen but my ego like to feed off the offers.

I always worry about one night stands. I wonder how all the previous nights were spent before they got to me. I don't think I even got her a drink; I'm not that charming.

I labeled her damaged goods and once that happens, sex is out of the question but I didn't want to just leave her. I wanted to try to fix her. I wanted to love her to prove that she could be loved without getting screwed over but I heard a question from the back of mind: "How you, gonna pull that off?" I had no answer.

I couldn't save her. I can't even save myself.

"Don't worry about it," I told her. "I just thought you were being kind."