not a play by play but...

The regulars were there, the regulars come in different groups, she's in a different group from me but sometimes our groups become one bigger group.

At that time I was my own group, sitting at the bar alone, a non-requested beer was placed in front of me and I was told it was from her, she just bought the regulars at the bar a round. I thanked her and did likewise when I got a chance. After awhile she sat next to me like she sometimes does. Karaoke night had just started and she was singing along, we all started signing. The place was loud so whenever either of us had something to say we had to lean into each other, we were talking in each other's ear, she asked how I was getting home, I told her "I take the train". She said "Don't take the train, share a cab with me" we live in the same neighborhood maybe six blocks from each other. I was having trouble hearing her so I had to lean in more than once to make out what she was saying, then she kissed me.

I thought just a quick kiss was in progress but then I felt a tongue. I should have stopped there but I didn't. I did likewise when I got a chance. I heard her say "Let's go pee" the bathrooms are downstairs, we went down the stairs, we didn't pee. There was more kissing, greater touching, negotiations. I tried to slow things down but things didn't slow down.

The cab ride to our neighborhood started with us both sitting up, we weren't always sitting up. I should have stopped things there but I didn't. The cab went by her street. I don't know how she noticed but she got close to the pass-through window and asked "Where are you going?" the cab driver stopped quick and she hit her lip, her lip split.

We decided to get out of the cab right there, one half block from her house, her lip was bleeding what seemed to be a lot. The cab door was opened she was bent over, sitting on the edge of the cab seat with her feet resting on the street, more surprised than hurt. The driver said "take your time" she said "Yeah, with the meter running". The driver offered three paper towels which he pulled from a roll he had on hand. I folded the towels into something more managable and handed them to her.

I paid the driver.

It started to rain.

I walked her to her house then up to her front door and then to her apartment door.

Her apartment key doesn't work well, she fiddled with it.

I should have stopped things there but I didn't. We both had too much to drink and now she was bleeding and wasn't able to get into her home so I didn't feel right about just leaving. The plan was to open the door and stay on the outside, in the foyer, until I knew she would be alright. The plan went awry.

She couldn't get the door open, so said "Here you try" as she motioned towards the door.

She was concerned about her bleeding. I was concerned about her bleeding and a lock with that key that didn't seem to work.

I tried all my tricks and nothing worked. I pulled the key out a bit and tried, I wiggled the key, I pushed the key as I turned, I lifted the key, I pushed down on the key, I jiggled the doorknob and I worked the key, nothing worked and then I just turned the key very delicately and the cylinder turned like some proverbial finely made watch. I opened the door and stepped aside. She staggered a little, I helped her in, we made it to the bathroom mirror.

"Are you alright? Do you want some ice?" I asked.

"I'll be alright if I can pee"

She started to undo her pants, I took a step to leave but she urgently asked for help with whatever clasping device was holding her pants up. I helped her with what turned out to be a small beige button, assuring myself that I was just helping her pee and not actually undressing her.

After a small struggle the button came undone and I left the room. A moment later, she opened the door, she was wearing only a large t-shirt. We were both in the narrow hallway. She grabbed my waist. I should have stopped it there but I didn't. I did likewise to hers.

"Are you staying?"

"I don't think that will be best"

"It will be alright"

"I'm not so sure"

"I want you"

"I can't"

she wanted to know why, I tried to offer possible reasons: we're both drunk, you're involved, I'm kind of involved, what will we think about this tomorrow?, and other forgotten reasons.

She turned and took a step, she had a quarter size bruise on the left cheek of her nicely shaped ass. She turned back and asked "So, you aren't going to have sex with me?"

I was trying to think of what to say, I could not find any charming way to say it, any soft way to say it, any way to make it sound less like a rejection because it really wasn't but the delay was getting to be too much. I thought "How can you just walk away? She was just pleading with you for sex."

but I just slowly lowered my head

and said

"no"