9.785

I’m not a party person, I think I do my best in small groups of people that I know where I can hear what the fuck is being said.

I go because I think if I didn’t, people’s feelings might get hurt or that people may think that I don’t like them.

Maybe I don’t like them but I don’t want them to think it, usually.

Anyway, I go and I bring my mom with me too. Somehow she got on the invite list and she actually likes talking to folks, or at least some folks.

I took my mom to the nearest ‘aunt’ that I knew she knew, got her a ginger ale, sat for a couple minutes and then left for other parts of the house.

In the kitchen, in an slight alcove, there are two chairs that face a TV, the chairs and the TV were vacant. Pro football was on the TV in the other room, so I figured it wouldn’t be inappropriate for another TV to be displaying football.

I picked up the remote and pushed the on button but nothing happened so I picked up the remote for the cable box and hit the on button and nothing happened. I then wondered at what point would my effort in getting this TV on would be inconsiderate of all the other guests.

I reached up and pushed the bottom most button in the row, nothing happened, so I pressed the top most button and the TV started to come alive. It was on the Bravo channel so I entered 25 into the remote, nothing happened. I thought, “What the..”, I opened the remote to find just one battery in a two battery compartment.

By this time I was invested in my endeavor, I retrieved the remote from the other room. I hoped the remote would work and if it didn’t I was prepared to steal the batteries from it; but it worked. I had football.

I then told Matty that I had football on in the kitchen. I don’t know anything about Matty, like whose cousin he is, all I knew is that he was sitting next to me in the other room watching football on that TV when that room filled up with old folks.

I thought: “This is sweet, I’m here at the party, I don’t have to figure out what to do with myself, if people want to talk to me: I right here.”

I was expecting a phone call because I left two messaged with the friend I had invited but I hadn’t heard back from her. She knows the host of the party and in the past she has met me at the party so, I conveyed the particulars in the second voicemail and left it at that. According to her Facebook page she made plans earlier that day to shop on Newbury Street, so I know she wasn’t dead in a ditch or anything.

Sitting in my comfy chair I checked my phone and noticed I had a voice mail. I was slightly annoyed that somehow I had missed a call but I had been doing other things besides just sitting, like digging folding chairs out of a closet and still trying to get the sound system to work.

I listen to the message, it wasn’t the one I expected but I did welcome the diversion.

I don’t mind listening to voicemails at parties if I’m not engaged and I will actually take a call if I don’t think it will look rude but making a phone call, I think, might cross a line. I know that there are occasions where making a phone call at a party is okay but I was pretty certain my instance wasn’t one of those occasions. So, I pulled out my iPod and sent an email.

Sending emails and texting at a party is still most likely rude but you can still be slightly engage with your surrounding while doing so. I cut myself some slack.

Later, my mom found me and said she was ready to go.

I said goodbye to maybe four different folks and then left.

On a scale of one to ten I would rate the event a 6, for the voicemail and email reply: I give a rate of 9.785.