She was walking down the hallway as I was checking the plotter which was having difficulties printing out someone else's job. I'll fix the plotter when it acts up because I'm a team player but sometimes the fix comes when I feel like it.

"Did you miss me yesterday?"

"I didn't even know you were out."

"I find that hard to believe. I'll ask around."

"Be my guest."

...

I was having an email conversation with a yankee who married a southerner. She mentioned something that happened while visiting down South.

"My sister-in-law insinuated that I was infertile, since I haven't gotten pregnant yet, and suggested that I adopt."

"It would have been great if you said 'So, I take it that have you seen him cum, lately'”

Now I want to write that scene into a something.

...

So, I'm a little bit worried with all the hits that little clip of me telling a joke gets. You see my goal is not to be popular because there is a certain amount of freedom in anonymity, which is one of the reasons I don't post the name of my home town a lot, the same goes for the local sports team, or my place of employment, or my favorite bar. I don't care if people reading this site know all that about me but I don't want people who know me to read this site, or at least not without me know it.

Even though all my posts are 'most likely fish stories', people can and will read things the wrong way. I would rather all my offenses be purposeful and if folks that know me read this stuff, I'm concerned that I will offend them on accident.

And if anyone that knows me does read this site and does take offense, I'll be glad to discuss it because maybe they are a retard and it will be good to get it out in the open.

"I don't like they way you're doing me." I wait to hear.

"So, don't be that way." I wait to say. But then I'll add "I'm just joking." I make everyone sound like an ass even when I'm writing about myself. I like pointing out the other side of the story, the side people aren't talking about. I'm the type of guy that points out the thorns on the rose, but I'll also point out that sometimes the thorny things have roses.

...

We were talking about places where we used to go but have since closed. One place was a bar and grill where you could get a decent steak, fries and a salad for six bucks. One of the guys stated that it had been run by the mob.

"You know, nobody ever said anything, that I heard, but I always got the feeling that at any moment someone could come busting through the door with machine guns, when I was there."

...