Thursday, July 27, 2006

the crazy train has frequent stops in Looneyville

"What the fuck?! You gotta be fucking kidding me." He walked over to my cube with a note that I wrote to him yesterday and the fax that the note was about, but I was on the phone taking a message so I couldn't say anything to him. He walked the four steps back to his cube and started up again when he heard me hang up the phone. He walked back to my cube.

"How can you not read this?"

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"Well what's that say right there?" I asked as a point to a place where his words sort of connected. "Listen, I don't know why you're getting so upset over this. It's a fax. Maybe he doesn't have a good fax machine. You don't know what his copy looks like. And blue sometimes doesn't fax too well."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah, they sell special blue pencils that don't show up on copy machines." I didn't really believe that his use of a dark blue pen had much to do with any fax problem; I was just trying to get him to calm down.

"Oh."

He called the guy.

"So, you can't read my writing?"

After he hung up the phone he said "Maybe, I should say I can't understand your talking."

All because the guy said was that he could make out the fax.

...

He's been on the crazy train lately and I've been too eager to hop on board.

...

I dare them to fire me, it seems at times. I think they don't out of spite.

...

I'm surprised I haven't heard him complain that he has to separate the colored laundry from the white.

His wife must always do the laundry.

"And I have this one white shirt that has wide blue strips. What am I supposed to do with that?"

...

Usually what will happen is that I'll smile right at the person that giving me trouble. The smile will be an honest one because it means I was just given a free ticket to open a can of whoop-ass.

I haven't been smiling lately, I've just been walking around with a can opener, daring folks.

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