there is a reason I'm still not comfortable referring to myself as a writer. actually there are quite a few reasons. most are in my sidebar.


Palm grease is the slipperiest
it's also the hardest to wash off


I console myself that it would most likely be some even bigger asshole that would fill the space that I currently occupy if I were not here


sometimes my demons and me break bread



it is like a low buzzing in my head
the need to express an idea of feeling

that was supposed to be 'idea or feeling'
and if I were to pretend I know what I am doing I would not mention this

i'll want to get that buzzing out and to get that buzzing out all I have to do and transfer that cause to the physical realm. The problem arises when I don't know what it is that I wish to express because if I don't export an accurate copy the buzzing remains.


it a brick wasteland that is called a plaza

surprisingly there was a butterfly there and it looked more to be flopping in the air than anything that could be called flying


So, he starts to tell my cube neighbor when the best days of the year are going to be and he mentions that they are the days in which he will be on vacation and the days will be good here so that when he gets back everyone will say that the weather was great.

And the weather will be great because:
you're a dick and God is punishing you or,
when you're away, things are always better.


An ad for Mind Freak came on and the guy was saying how he was going to make an elephant disappear. I said "Too bad he can't make that lisp disappear."

I was called mean.


Someone mentioned my mostly reckless eating habits I said I figure that my high blood pressure forces my blood through my clogged arteries.


you may think it's all fun and games when you're a favorite regular at the bar with all the quick service and extra booze in your drinks but sometimes it can cause some problems like when you're just trying to grab a late lunch and having a beer or maybe two before you run off to your second job but then the guy down at the end of the bar buys you a beer and then the manager buys you a beer and then a double shot and then a beer.

"I gots other things to do" - you think but you don't want to be rude so you drink all the drinks except for the last half a beer.