this really is a thousand word waste of time

So, those invites, the ones I did about two weeks ago, were for an event that happened yesterday (which was Monday). For those of you not in the know, two weeks lead time on an invite is not ideal; I believe three weeks is the minimum and six weeks the max. The non ideal lead time wasn't a problem I could fix because I was only given the finial information that day.

Anyway, that was two weeks ago, which left two weeks to get the program set and printed.

So, ten days go by, I knew I would be doing the programs but that's all I knew until I was told that they wanted an eight page program. For those of you not in the know, most run of the mill programs are simply one sheet of letter size paper folded in half which produces four pages and usually the back page is blank, so eight pages wasn't a good start; eight pages means staples. We scheduled the Thursday before the Monday event to get the program set.

When we met Thursday, things looked promising, there were a couple people around and there were a few items already typed up. When I'm laying out anything to be published, what I like do is to get everything on the page and then make decisions of design, such as font style and size and placement on the page. I got three rough pages done and when I looked for more, I was told there wasn't anymore. We all left early with the plan to show up the next day.

I've been doing these things for quite some time know; I've learned how things shake out so after my day job instead of showing up to work on the program I went out for a beer. I think I was drinking a Margarita when my cell phone rang. I was told that 'we' were still waiting for information and that 'we' wouldn't have it all until Sunday. I was asked when I could show up for that day; I said noon.

I should up at midday on the day before the event as planned. I was the only one there. I reworked some of what I had, when I got more items by fax; people were avoiding me. I placed the items.

At four o'clock people showed up. Earlier, I was told someone other than me would pick up the paper for the job; no one had. When I mentioned that stores close early and we had to start to worry about getting stock, I was asked to get it. I inquired how many programs would be printed so I would know how much to buy. I was told two hundred.

The first office supply place I went to, didn't have enough of the paper I liked; I still had plenty of time before the six o'clock closing time so I went to the next one closest. While I was looking at paper stock I got an ideal for a design change. Before I left I was told that we should do the best we can with the program because the event had taken on a greater significance.

The design change involve the use of vellum. I didn't know where the vellum would end up in the booklet but I would figure that out once we had all the information placed roughly on its page.

When I got back with the stock, I was informed that the booklet might need to be twelve pages. For those of you not in the know a fifty percent increase in page numbers isn't something you wish to hear after the material are purchased and the stores are about to close.

Fortunately, this wasn't my first go-round, I've been there before. I had enough stock. The day was spent with information trickling in which would then be typed, cut and pasted into the working layout, printed out as a drafted and then proofread. We were doing this until half past midnight.

"After this we're done," I was told after the last of the information was gathered.

"No, it isn't. We still have to worry about page placement and design."

I think everything all the paged were placed, proofed and formatted by one o'clock in the morning for the nine o'clock event. I started printing the now three hundred copies when I was asked how long it would take. I timed the copier at three copies per two minutes, someone told me that they figured the printing would be done by five.

It takes nine hundred sheets of paper to print three hundred copies of a document that is comprised of three sheets. The copier only holds five hundred sheets. It was decided that folks would go home and return at five. It didn't need to be said that I would be the one monitoring the printing until five.

Two people showed up at five, I had already stapled and folded one hundred and fifty programs and had enough parts to assemble one hundred more. We finished at quarter to six.

I left to try to get some sleep, I figured an hour and a half might have been possible. When I got to my bedroom my six o'clock alarm was still going off. I was lying in bed debating on whether or not to set the alarm for eight o'clock when I my cell phone rang. Someone was asking where I was. I said that I was at home and that the programs were finished. I hung up, decided not to set the alarm and risk falling hopelessly asleep and miss the event.

At seven my cell phone rang. I was asked if I could bring my camera to take some pictures because it was worried that the person given that job wouldn't show up.

I showed up to the event at quarter of eight. It seemed slightly strange when I was handed one a program by one of the ten year olds holding them in baskets. I staked out a place behind where the news camera were being setup. I figured the pros would know something about getting good shots.

The field of view behind the video camera was good but my little camera could zoom in enough for the shots I wanted so I snuck into a vacant seat up front. I sat next to one of the Board members who had just a few hours prior was helping with the programs. She leaned over and mentioned that she thought it was slightly humorous that she herself didn't get a program. I reached into the pocket of my black leather coat and handed her my program.

I took a couple decent shots and a few less than decent.

I skipped out on the reception.