A church going lady doesn't need to know the definition

So, the lady here that answers the phone is a bit of a douche but she’s old and goes to church every day and pretends like she’s stupid so nobody says anything to her even when she’s busy NOT answering the phone. If you were to call my line when I’m away from my desk it would ring for as long as you could bear to wait or until I got back to my desk even though all she has to do is pick up her receiver and push a button to take a message but somehow she has it in her mind that she doesn’t need to answer my line even though everyone else that sits at that very same desk will take a message when my phone rings more than five times.

Anyway, she’s a douche and when she was at lunch a friend of mine was filling in and I guess someone ended up calling her something unpleasant and when my friend was telling the douche her story she spelled out what she was called which was F-U-C-K-I-N-G C-U-N-T.

Now, that something that you can’t ever say in most work places but after my friend left, the douche ends up asking people what the word means. I wanted to yell out, “It’s what you are,” but I just kept quiet.

“I know it’s a bad word but what does it mean?” is what she kept asking.

Why do you need to know, you douche?



…

During a phone conversation when someone is going to give me a phone number or address or some other such information that routinely gets written down and I’m asked if I have a pencil and paper, I will say, “I have a pen and paper,” because I’m a douche too.



The candy assortment today is: assorted mini Hersey bars and fun size peppermint patties, both are wrapped in wonderful Easter colors.