Shit! I just stretched a bit as I was wondering what type of bullshit I was going to feed you today and I heard this crinkling noise so I felt my shirt pocket and that produced the same crinkling paper noise so I reached in and pulled out a sawbuck and I thought: “This shirt has been through the laundry, yet this magical ten dollar bill has survived.” Okay maybe that wasn’t the actual thought but the true thought wasn’t dissimilar.
Anyway, hopefully there is a picture of it because I did take a picture but sometimes I get lazy and I won’t post it.
If there is a picture it shows a ten dollar bill that is folded in quarters by first folding it lengthwise and then folding it shortwise, and I usually fold it like that so that I can slip it under something as I’m leaving the bar, so I guess I short tipped someone.
That’s not true, no one was shorted, if I pocketed it, it was because people were already tipped but that I was going to be more generous to a particular someone.
I have a whole complicated tipping scheme that I will not go into today.
There should also be a picture of the handwritten 42 that is also circled that is on the bill. I don’t know the significance of this notation.
I started reading Woe is I just last night and there was something about using that or which and that sentence, that is above, made me think about it. I believe I got it right.
I’ve also found out that I have some bad habits. One habit is using they instead of the proper he, such as in the sentence:
And if anybody doesn’t like it, then they can kiss my hairy ass.
It should be:
And if anybody doesn’t like it, then he can kiss my hairy ass.
I’ll usually use the they because it’s gender nonspecific but I’ll told that this is not correct and that I should just suck it up and use the male pronoun.
Is it Friday yet?
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