Part of my day job involves documenting certain signs that are installed on the city streets. Some times, on narrow streets, it's better to walk than to drive around but walking around gives people more of an opportunity to ask questions. I usually will listen to my iPod while walking around because it cuts down on some of the questions. I was walking around the other day in my city's little Italy section. The residents there don't like outsiders. An outsider is anyone that wasn't birthed on a checkerboard tableclothed kitchen table in some small apartment over some Italian restaurant within the confines of their tiny neighborhood.

I was unbothered for most of the day which was good because I wasn't in a happy mood. I was unbothered until the last street when I heard someone calling to somebody who could only be me.

"Hey! Buddy, can I help you?"

I finished what I was writing before I turned around to look to see some local construction working hanging out a second story window. I pretended to ponder his question and then said "Nope" and started to write some more, which I knew would irritate they guy but I don't like being hollered at from any window anywhere for most any reason.

"Buddy, what do you need?" I heard as I did my best to suppress a mostly evil grin.

"Nothing. I'm all set but thanks." I answered not looking up from my clipboard.

"Then y's were u's look'n at my van?"

"I's wasn't look'n at your van" I wanted to say 'u's van' instead of 'your van' but I was certain I would have been greeted with a crowbar or some other blunt instrument soon there after, I was pushing it as was.

After that I just continued down the street, fortunately what I was going caused me to have to look back down the street every once and awhile which allowed me to make certain that someone wasn't headed towards me from behind to continue some discussion.

I was half disappointed that the discussion didn't go any further. I too often greet stupid tough guys by being a smart-mouthed asshole and I really should know better than that.