We really shouldn't fight in front of the kids

I walked in and I swear she waved at me just like she always does so I waved back with my usually smile, that was when she yelled at me, “I’m not waving at you. You didn’t come in for lunch.” I usually come in for lunch. I said “I wasn’t waving at you I was waving at *the friendlier one*, and I’m here now.” She let me know that that wasn’t good enough, so I told her she was off my ‘good list,’ I think that makes the thirtieth time she’s been off my good list. I also let her know there was a reason I wasn’t there earlier but she didn’t want to hear it, she just gave me more attitude, so I asked “When did we get married?” Then she offered to make out with me but that was because she had strep throat.

I took a pass.

We got pretty loud right up until I sat down and a friendlier barkeep set a pint in front of me. It was only then that I noticed that the whole bar was looking at us. I smiled at her and she winked at me.

The show was over.

I told them I was only there to clue them in and that we as a group might not be coming by as much, the conversation lasted through another draft and I was asked if I wanted a third. I said “I’m good” and pushed the tumbler to the edge with a sawbuck underneath which would leave a tip larger than the check. The friendlier one took the glass but left the ten behind and said “You’re good, Sunshine” I gave her a questioning look holding up the money discreetly just off the bar, she said “They’re on me tonight.”