I play the lottery, not excessively, not even every week, maybe twice a month. A lot of my co-workers play the lottery more frequently than I do and this one guy, a friend, occasionally asks "What you do if you scratched for a million dollars?" I usually don't answer him with anything other than a shoulder shrug. The most I've ever scratched for was one hundred dollars and this guy was right there with me and I played it cool which is exactly what I would do if I hit for one million. I'm not going to jump up and down and start shouting "Look at me! I'm holding a million dollars. Mug me if you dare."

Which is probably what he would do.

I will tell you this though if I did win million, I wouldn't say much but I would smile a bit more.

"What's with you?" people would ask because it would look like I was smiling for nothing.

"I'm a happy guy. I smile all the time." I'll lie.


I have a horrible poker face. It's a good thing my poker buddies are horrible drunks.


***

"Can you change the picture to this better one?"

"You think that's better?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"No. It looks like your selling vinyl siding. I'll use it if you want but all I see in the picture is vinyl siding."

"I even asked whether I should use this one or the view and all the women said this one."

"I'll use it. It's just my opinion but that looks like you're selling vinyl siding." I said repeating myself as I looked at the photo again. "or maybe it's aluminum siding, I don't know" I did know, it was aluminum. "Either way all I see is siding."