If the pen I'm using doesn’t have a cap to it and it is supposed to, I'll throw it away. If the pen I'm using has a cap that has been noticeably crewed upon, I'll throw it away. I throw chewed pencils away as well.

I'm sitting in my second office waiting for someone to show. I've been here for two hours working on a new ad, that's how I spend my days off.

Driving in I received a phone call from the editor of a local paper. He was looking for a check and he called me because I can usually get things done. I passed the message on to the appropriate person but so far to no avail.

I'm the middle man, only there is no markup for my service. I like helping folks out but I dislike it when I'm powerless to help. I hate it when all my good looks and charm fail to produce deeds of grandeur.

Sometimes, my self sarcasm gets mistaken for arrogance.

"Yeah, dude. I really truly believe that shit I say about myself."