Friday, February 06, 2004

Ahh...the permit desk

My stay at the permit desk had an encore performance. I normally work 8-4, the normal permit guy works 9-5, now 4 o'clock comes, I wasn't the last person covering the desk but that person normally leaves at 4 as well, and today would be no different. The supervisor who oversees the permit section is not around, my direct supervisor has left early due to a problem at his home.

So that leaves me, do I leave or do I stay. If I stay I can get an hour overtime to which I say big deal. If I go and someone needs a permit and doesn't get one there will be yelling tomorrow. The yelling will not be at me but at others, others who may be trusting that I will do the unselfish thing. I had things I wanted to do and on Thurdays, I'm always booked. But I stay a few and to see.

4:15 comes, no permit supervisor. So, I say to the receptionist, I'm leaving and I go to get my lined leather coat to depart but at my desk I stop, I don't get the black well worn outerwear. I go back to the permit desk, I'm a sucker. I am a victim of my own morality, and I get angry at myself.

I should just leave, why don't I leave. I don't even have permission to stay and work overtime, my request for payment could be refused. I need to leave. I should leave, I have every right.

4:30 comes, no one has needed a permit since 3:57, I need to leave, still no supervisor.

Leave, leave, leave.

4:37 I see the permit supervisor, he's in his office putting on his coat. ...Putting on his coat, he's leaving. I'm a sucker. I'm standing right at the front of the office talking with the receptionist. Talking about if you know how to fix a problem and are able but not willing then there is a problem with your character. She thinks the judgement is for her but my judgement is for me. All the while there is that timer in my head, the supervisor should have walked past by now, so I glance to his empty office, he's gone, out the back door. I think, coward. I focus back on the receptionist as she tells me I should not swear like I sometimes do.

Fine, I'll give up swearing now how about back to your problems. I usually only swear for emphasis anyway. I rather say you need to shut the fuck up than to say dear William, I disgree with your statements regarding fashion and I would question any judgement of yours when you have a habit of wearing that cotten sweater with the cartoonish golfer image.

I don't have the answers. I just like the discussion. I like debate, to argue. If you can't argue your point then you need a new one.

4:57 nobody has come in for a permit. I could have left, my efforts unneeded. Worry for naught. (naught...where'd that come from?)

Most likely I'll be offered a half day whenever I want...what am I up to? five half days now. Players, relax I've got me covered indeed a victim of my own warped sense of morality.

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